Under the sheets
by That'sWellCompassionate
Summary: AU. Being stuck in her none moving life Naomi makes a stupid mistake that won't seem to go away, maybe it isnt as bad as she makes it out.
1. You're killing me

**Hey :) Recently I've been reading a lot of fantasic stories out there and felt like having a go myself, hopefully it isnt too bad. Alls will be regularly updated.**

**Anyway this is chapter one, Leave a review and tell me what you think.**

'Do you think he'll be okay?'

She asked for the 17th time that night, rubbing her frosted hands together as she trailed down a street full of clubs, nothing but a dark blue fitted dress and pair of heels. It was full of teenagers and she felt stupid, stupid and old even though she was barely 23, stuff like this just wasn't what she could do anymore, technically women in their 40's still go out for a night on the lash but she felt like a fraud. Naomi knew this was a bad idea from the go; still it didn't stop the last bit of excitement that was left in her life to enter her stomach.

'Yes!' Repeated the tired voice of the girl next to her, the girl that was dragging her along the street in the first place, she stopped in front of Naomi, taking both her hands in her own and dragging them until she would lift her eyes 'he's in his warm home' she nodded 'in a safe bed' she nodded again 'with his dad, your fucking partner, how okay can someone get?' she smiles, it's not that perfect though Naomi wanted to answer.

Naomi Campbell was a lot of things to many different people, she was a daughter, and she was a best friend. She _had _potential, she wanted to do things right. Have an education, grow up, fall in love whenever it happened and have a family. All of that did happen of course, she grew up _too fast, _she fell in love _she is in love,_ she had a family _she had a son_.

She was 18 when she met Daniel, he was 25 already, but he was also charming, loved life and most importantly he loved her and she fell instantly. He wasn't what her mum wanted for her, he was corporate, he worked in sales management and she hated him, Gina wanted Naomi to date a hippie, a fucking pathetic teenage hippy with hopes of saving the world with weed. Naomi wasn't into the corporate type either and when Daniel approached her with his tailored suit in a rundown bar she laughed in his face. He splashed his cash around the bar, buying her and her mates drinks all night until she was eventually pissed enough to stop drinking altogether and jump into the back of a taxi he kindly got for her. They met again and she felt like not being the uptight over confidant bitch for once in a while, she fell pregnant.

She cried, oh how she cried when she realised the effect of her stupidity. Everyone looked at her differently now, her friends, Effy looked more surprised than anything else. Her mother was disappointed and she knew it, but she was there, she was always fucking there and then telling the college you're probably going to be missing a lot of the second year to go on maternity leave was the cherry on the top of the cake.

He stuck by her, Gina giving him a little more respect as the days went on. They never did get married, he proposed and she said yes, but it was never going to happen, she didn't want to get married, didn't need to get married just because they had a son together. 5 years later and they were still together, flash apartment with the entire trimmings, 4 year old son causing havoc around the place and one giant problem in the middle of it all, they wasn't in love, when she thought about it long and hard they had never actually been in love. It was forced, the full lot of it, the agonizing kisses in front of family members on special occasions, the plain sex they'd share whenever she felt up to it. Daniel didn't take interest anymore, he was always working, and if they didn't actually live together Naomi thinks their son wouldn't even know who he was. He didn't care and she knew most of the time he didn't want to be there, it was all a big act that she wanted to end every time she'd watch her sons face when she picked him up from school alone, the most important thing to her in the world was hurt because she was too afraid she couldn't do this alone. She and Daniel even got into an argument tonight when Effy invited her out and he had to babysit alone.

'Eff seriously, everybody's like 17' she didn't know why she was protesting so much, it felt nice to be out and about without having responsibilities, if she wasn't at work, meeting important clients then she'd be looking after Connor, she felt past her time.

'You need some fun' Effy slurred, she already had a least 7 shots of vodka before coming out, what Naomi envied the most about the girl next to her was that she hadn't changed a bit, still acting like she doesn't give a fuck because she didn't have to give a fuck, she misses those days.

They skipped the line, much protest of the people that looked like they had been waiting for a couple of hours to get in, she always did it Effy ensured her, dragging her by the palms of her hands and past the bouncers that eyed her up and down in lust, weirdly she liked it, someone looking at her like that, sad truth was Naomi just liked to feel wanted romantically.

'Round of shots'

Effy smacked a tenner down on the damp bar, liquids seeking through the note as the bar tender clawed it away, producing the small glasses filled with liquid 'just a starter Naoms, we're getting wrecked' she announced casually, as Naomi emptied the burning substance down her throat, throwing Effy a satisfied smile when she finished, causing her to laugh and grasp her hands once more, face turning slightly more serious.

'I know it's shit, but I'm here and tonight is definitely for forgetting okay?' Effy knew, she knew about everything because she got told everything. Daniel never being around, not being in love when she was supposed to, being touched by him but not actually feeling it anymore, Naomi sighed flicking the loose pieces of her curly hair out of her eyes.

'I'll try' she offered weakly over the music, sad smile in place.

'No!' Effy exclaimed, making her jump on the stool

'you won't fucking _try, _we're young, we're fucking here and we're going to have a smashing night, forget everything, Connors fine so there is actually no need to worry about anything tonight'

she finalised her speech with the last shot, making a distorted face causing Naomi to laugh. Next thing she knew she was being dragged by the girl across to the dance floor, dance floor filled with people carelessly moving to the music. There was that feeling again, not belonging. She felt like people were watching her, making judgements about why she would be dancing after everything she's been through, truth is nobody was watching her at all, all too busy kissing their partners or just letting go to the music, still didn't make her feel less insecure.

'Fuck' Effy shouts laughing, both there sweaty body's back over to the bar now breathing heavily, it livened her up, she felt good now, wanted to stay around these unknown people a little while longer before she had to return to real life.

'Gladly' she snaps her head around, man standing, tongue howling out at Effy as he sips the froth of his beer, smug smile plastered across his face, she turns to Effy with a raised eyebrow, she shrugs.

'What?' Naomi asks, plain tone as she addresses the man who has just suddenly started talking to them, he wipes his hands on the sides of his red jacket, winking at Naomi before nudges his head towards Effy.

'Fuck' he repeats 'and I said gladly babe, so how's about it?' Naomi laughs at his bluntness, turns to Effy to see her looking like she's actually considering this pathetic excuse of a pickup line.

'Don't worry, you too' he licks his lips at Naomi, she goes sick a little.

'Wouldn't leave you out now' she's about to insult him in the only way she knows best, using her intelligence, fortunately for him she doesn't have time. Small pale hand is suddenly in her vision, lightly slapping the face of the tossers in front of her, bright red mop of hair coming into view.

'Don't listen to him, he's all talk' she agrees straight away with this girl, short, cute small dress mixed with tights and layers of random jewellery, it looks nice she decides, it's unique, different, she likes it. Both her and Effy laugh as the boy rubs the side of his face, the girl leans in closer to him, grabbing at his shoulder frustrated.

'And where the fuck did you go? I've been looking for you for like an hour' she spits into his ear, her shrugs, winking over at them.

'I'm off the Ladies' announces Effy, a little too loudly that Naomi throws her a strange look, only to find her friends eyes trained on red jacket boy, you slut she thinks with a smirk, before she actually has time to realise she's going to be left alone with these current two strangers next to them, Effy throwing one last look and strolling away towards the toilets, he bolts up, grabbing and from what it looks like rearranging the crotch of his pants before turning towards the girl, her nervously noticing the red heads eyes scanning her body.

'Never say that Cook hasn't got it anymore' Naomi notices him vanish from the corner of her eyes, leaving the small red head alone with her. She automatically turns in the stool, elbows resting on the bar and eyes falling down onto her empty glass. She was never good at making friends or making random conversation with someone she probably won't see ever again.

'Drink?' she hears it, barely registering the words before she's looking up in these big hopeful brown eyes, she wonders why they look so hopeful, wonders why she's actually still standing here with her when they don't know each other, starts to feel uncomfortable so she diverts her eyes.

'Huh?'

The girl laughs, leaning forward gently so she's on the bar and pointing at the glass 'Drink' she repeats.

'Do you want another drink?' she'd been offered drinks before, she been bought drinks before but coming from a female it was different, weird even. Men offer women drinks so they think they'll have a chance with them, Naomi smiles at her tightly.

'No thanks' she simply says, turning back around in her stool towards the bar.

'Just one drink?' The girl offers again with a cheeky smile, she stays tight lipped when shaking her head in refusal, the redhead continues to smile.

'I'm Emily' she's persistant, the first thing Naomi notices, she likes people that push, usually likes it when it's not her being pushed though, it registers straight away that Emily's a lesbian. She doesn't look gay not that she's suggesting they have a certain look, but she's flirting and eyeing up Naomi's cleavage on the sly which is a giant giveaway, probably hoping to be flirted with back a little, it's not happening tonight.

'Naomi' she offers flick of her hand, not meeting the girl's eyes, acting like she's not actually there at all.

'Well Naomi,' she flicks the name around on her tongue, using a different tone to pronounce the name than the first word.

'You look very beautiful tonight' she laughs, she shouldn't really because even though it's cheap and every girl tonight is going to hear that line, at least she's trying. She looks up then still laughing, Emily's face reads amusement as she stares back down at her, She's beautiful, far too pretty to be flirting shamefully with straight girls at some dirty club, she looks around for Effy, Emily getting a little bit too close for comfort now, she scoots over in her stool, laughing nervously.

'Compared to all the other nights you've seen me...' she jokes, it goes silent between the two them, Emily racking her brain for a comeback as Naomi plays with the left over ice at the bottom of the glass, suddenly Emily's raising both at her hands at Naomi in surrender, amusement still in her eyes.

'I suppose this is my queue to leave you in peace?' Naomi notices the way the corner of her mouth perks up in a smirk when she jokes, one last smile before she's walking away.

'It was nice meeting you Naomi' she concludes, throwing her a small smile. She feels numb then, the twinge of excitement she only just noticed disappearing before it's even fully there, turns around to see Emily swallowed by the mass crowds around the place, ends up sighing and burying her head in between her arms.

She feels a presence, lifting her head up to see the bartender smiling down at her, pushing a glass her way, she frowns 'from the redhead' he confirms, notices it's a vodka and red bull in the glass, smiles at the irony of rejecting a drink off her just for her to buy her one anyway.

'God stop looking so depressed' Effy slings her purse down on the bar, Naomi slowly raises her head to smile at her.

'Have a good time?' she raises her eyebrow, Effy frowns.

'Having a piss? Yeah it was truly amazing, you should try it sometime' she jokes, Naomi laughs unconvinced by Effy's little act, her top half hanging out of her skinny jeans, still adjusting her bra as she's talking to Naomi is one of the biggest give a ways.

'We didn't shag' Effy confirms, taking her new drink of the bar tender and taking a sip, Naomi raises an eyebrow at her 'we didn't!' she confirms, she just smiles.

'If you must know we were about to, but his friend came back'

'Emily?' she mentally slaps herself straight away.

'Emily?' Effy repeats confused, Naomi just nods, 'yeah her anyway, he said he'd find me later' she winks; get's a laugh in return off her blonde friend.

'And what am I meant to do later?' she jokes

'Go home to your family' her playful smile drops, Effy frowning instantly and tugging at Naomi's arm, she sighs.

'Naomi sorry I didn't-'

'He's going to London tomorrow, he's got a week full of meetings, and apparently that's why he should be the one out tonight and not me' she quotes, rolling her eyes, Effy sends her a sympathetic smile. Naomi hates it, she hates pity, never wanted to be one of those that people feel sorry for, and so when Effy goes to talk again she stands up abruptly, hands running through her bags.

'Going for a ciggie' she announces, Effy stands too but Naomi stops her with her hands.

'Please Eff' she simply says and she gets it, her friend needs time alone. She sits back down, Naomi thankful, smiling as she makes her way through the excited crowds, heading for the exit when the cold wind hits her body, shivering slightly. She walks down the road a little till she away from the still crowding people outside the door, she only notices she's not alone by the smell clouds of smoke coming from the tiny body on the curb, notices that hair straight away.

Emily's facing away from her, looking down into the empty street as she puffs away on her cigarette. Naomi doesn't know what she's doing when she walks in her direction, knows what she's going to say as soon as she goes over to her. Before she reaches her Emily's standing up, straightening out her dress and rubbing her tights down, Naomi freezes inches away from her, instantly smile filled with confusion on Emily's face when she turns around, Naomi standing with loose unlit cigarette in her hand.

'Got a light?' she asks, and it's stupid because she knows she's got a least two fully working lighters in her bag, makes sure she has a least two every time she goes out somewhere like this. Smoking's a terrible habit, she's tried to stop but it doesn't happen. Emily smile's still, producing the small orange lighter from her dress pocket, leaning over and lighting the cigarette for her, she smiles thankful.

Emily takes a drag of her own ciggie, eyes shutting slightly as she exhales the smoke back out, grey swirling flying out in front of Naomi's face, they stand there side by side smoking in silence until Emily turns her head 'So Naomi' she rolls the name round again, and suddenly Naomi's nervous

'Enjoying your night?' she offers friendly, Naomi shrugs.

'Suppose, could be better' she doesn't know how it could be better, doesn't know the specific thing that's missing but it's been alright. She smirks,

'Oh?' she inhales again, squeezing her lips tightly this time as the smoke piles out, before she knows it she's close again, in her personal space, invading where she's standing but she's not moving and she's still smiling, soft hand now slowly caressing the blondes freezing arms. 'How can I make it better?' she asks, Naomi's mouth opens slightly

'How can you-'

The question is cut off by her eager mouth, ciggie dropped from her hand in shock and dropping onto the pavements, the small body pushes Naomi's back until she's connected with the side of the club, pulling back in horror, shock spread across the blondes face as Emily remains with her eyes closed, smudged lipstick now tracing her lips.

She opens her eyes slowly, taking in the look on Naomi face and sighing 'sorry, I had too' she confirms.

Licking her lips with her tongue, blondes eager eyes scanning her face, only just realising that there still in the embrace, Emily's body crushed onto hers, with her back against the club wall, heavy breathing mixed together 'I meant what I said, you look beautiful'

It's all shocking to Naomi, it's shocking that this random stranger has kissed her, it's shocking to Naomi that without thinking about it, without thinking about the fact that's she's taken, engaged, locked up, belonging to somebody else she finds herself pushing her lips back against Emily's, Tasting her with her own mouth, forcefully pushing her tongue against Emily's lips until both of their hot tongues are caressing with one another's. Not caring when she feels Emily's warm hand slipping up her thigh, not caring when the skirt of her dress is hiked up and Emily pushes against her centre with the force of her knee, not forgetting how incredibly wanted she feels, forgetting what it feels like.

They kiss, slowly, quickly, paces changing as they finally pull apart, Emily's lips connecting with Naomi's sweaty neck, making her gasp out in want and relief, dying when Emily's tongue slides until her lips are on her ear and she's whispering.

'I think we should take this back to my place, it's going to be a lot more comfortable fucking in my bed'

Naomi gasps, she doesn't want this, she does want this. She doesn't know, it's all too fucking fast and she's a girl. She knows it's cheap really doing this, one nights stands just aren't her tells herself she should go home, kiss her son goodnight, slip into her pyjamas and climb into her double bed, Daniel one side and her in the other, never touching in their sleep, always facing away from each other. Emily pulls away, holding her hand out for Naomi to take, her phone starts to ring.

It's static, terribly bad connection 'Naoms couldn't find you, still smoking?' she hears giggles, small ssh's from the other end of the phone, knows Effy's with that lad again, Emily's mate, Emily standing in front of her with her palm still raised for Naomi to take, smiling at her sweetly.

'Yeah' she barely whispers she makes a snap decision right there and right then.

'Actually Eff, I'm off, taxi's just pulled up right now' she hears another giggle, another grunt, face distorting slightly at the noise. Emily's smile grows in front of her.

'Oh okay' She wants to laugh, probably knows Effy's slightly relieved that she can fuck in peace, not have her mate tag along 'Well come to the shop on Monday with Connor, I'll take him off your hands' smiles slightly at this, see's Emily waiting in front of her again and feels slightly guilty, thinks of her shitty relationship also. The line goes dead then, she takes Emily's hand, entwined fingers as Emily leads her down the path, avoiding the club doors, she lives close apparently.

She can barely breathe when they reach Emily's apartment, running all the way there in eagerness, stopping at one of the bus stops for a quick snog there and then. She doesn't live here alone, Naomi can tell by the living room, messy, beer cans, fast food, men's clothing. Wonders if her flatmate is in, wonders why the fuck she's even doing this in the first place. She wants to run then, she's still standing glazing around the living room alone, pausing and forgetting to follow Emily, the doors right behind her, could go home right now and forget all this has happened, but then she hears the small voice coming from behind her and she follows it.

'My room's this way' Emily's watching her, pulling her down the small hallway until they reach the white door, hands still linking as Emily pushes it open, Emily room not fitting the other rooms, it's clean, organised, just very different, again she likes it. When the door shuts it goes silent again, both of them standing facing each other but not saying a word, she's never had sex with a woman before, she hasn't had sex with any other person in 5 years, this is the most confused she's ever been in her life.

'Don't look so scared' Emily giggles, pushing the straps of Naomi's dress down her shoulders slowly, she raises her hands, stopping both of Emily's wrists and making them freeze on the straps, Emily looks up confused, Naomi falls again, her and Emily lips meeting in a frantic kiss.

They have sex, Emily finally get Naomi's dress off, along with her underwear, Naomi moaning when Emily takes time around her breast, not just jumping straight into the fucking part as she thought she would, Gently kissing her lips, hands stroking her nipples, sucking on them between her lips. Naomi being flat on her back on her bed, sheets squeezed between her hands as Emily's fingers slowly enter and unenter her, she's gasping, moaning and begging for air by time she comes, hard unbelievably fucking hard that she almost starts crying. Emily whispering soothing things _you're beautiful _kissing her way back up her body and claiming her lips _you feel good_, she's dying, nothing entering her mind but Emily.

They both fall asleep wrapped in each other, hours passing before Naomi's eyes are slowly opening, adjusting to the light of the clock glowing 4.00AM, she squints confused looking around the room, turns over, delicate arm wrapped around her torso, she's naked, she doesn't sleep naked anymore she recounts in her head, her head hurts also, she tries to sit up, removing the unknown arm and staring around the room once more, oh fucking hell, she remembers. Moaning out in ecstasy, girl she barely knows sliding down her body and pleasuring her with her delicate mouth. She doesn't turn around, doesn't want to see Emily lying next to her naked, her fling, dirty affair, goes to climb out the bed when an arm is thrown over her. Emily's body pushes forward until her warm lips are connecting with Naomi's neck again, her hand sliding up to cup the blonde's bare right breast.

'You can stay the night' she hears her murmur through the sloppy kisses, she pushes back, pushing Emily away from her, collecting her dissuaded underwear from around the room naked, she see's Emily sit up in the bed, wiping at her tired eyes and yawning slightly, bed sheets wrapped around her body as she eyes Naomi's body working frantic around the room.

'Seriously stay' she hears Emily say, she snaps.

'No, I've got to go home' she says, pushing her dress over her head and down her body.

'Why?' she hears Emily ask confused

'Thought we could have a repeat of last night' she can almost see the dirty smile on Emily's lips, she feels sick, cheap and just fucking sick, but she can't deny it, she liked last night, it made her feel something again, something that was a onetime thing

'Come on babe'

'No' she's fully dressed now, standing cm's away from the door.

'I've got to go home' she repeats with a strain in her voice.

'My fiancé will be wondering where I am' she says reluctantly. Doesn't know why she says fiancé, yes they are engaged but she never uses it, rarely feels the need to use it now though, she needed to get it out there, needs to make her understand this was a mistake. She turns around, Emily's eyes narrowing at her in shock.

'I've got a child Emily' she whispers, doesn't look long enough to see Emily's reaction to that, hand already on the door handle opening it.

'Well you can't go' she hears Emily say, shuffling around under the sheets 'You can't walk home at this time' she protests, Naomi sighs because she doesn't think this is the time to worry about how safe the streets are.

'I'll get a taxi' she whispers, needing to get out of there, wanting to go home, can't be around Emily anymore, she hears her laugh gently, turns around to catch the last part of Emily slipping a t-shirt on.

'You won't get a taxi now, the amount of people coming out the clubs at this time' she reasons, smiling at her shyly, walking closer making Naomi walk slightly away from her more, she's frustrated, holding her heels in her hands, bag held up to her chest. 'I'll walk you' she offers, the blonde laughs dumbly.

'No, that's fine' she answer bitterly.

'Look I won't walk you to your door, just the end of the street, nobody will see me' she suggests, standing up and throwing a pair of loose jeans on, Naomi doesn't move, wonders why this woman isn't shouting at her, telling her to get out, realises that Emily probably always does this, picks women up at clubs and brings them home. Wonders how many other women she's had wrapped up in her bed sheets moaning out her name, whispering beautiful things into their ears too, she takes a deep breath.

'No' she says forcefully

'I don't live too far anyway' she confirms, she's not lying, remembers Emily dragging her past a couple of familiar roads on the way to the flat, her stomach turning at the thought of being caught by someone she knew. She hears Emily sigh now, fully dressed, attaching the last shoe to her foot.

'Listen, family or not, I'm not letting you walk alone okay?' she defeated now, not having anymore come backs after this, Emily doesn't have to care because it's not her problem, doesn't get why Emily would even be kind enough to walk her home anyway, Emily grabs her keys, flinging them into her jean pockets along with her phone, Naomi's already out in the hall waiting for her, eyes scanning the wall when her heart stops completely. Pictures of the man at the bar, the one fucking Effy tonight, Emily's friend, He lives here too, he's the untidy flatmate, and she panics. Wonders when he's going to come home, him and Emily laughing and swapping stories about their latest shags, Effy finding out about everything, she raises a hand to the wall, balancing herself on her feet when her body suddenly goes faint.

'I'm not going to tell him' Emily didn't even have to ask, just saw the look on Naomi face and followed her eyesight to the pictures, Naomi takes a deep breath and nods her head thankful at the redhead, following her out of the main door and back into the cold early morning streets. She pulls her phone out, 1 new message Effy.

"Great night, get home ok? Soz about phone call"

she smiles, quickly texting back a brief message before stuffing the phone back into her bag, notices Emily trailing at the side of her looking a bit awkward, following Naomi's directions, not talking at all. It's awkward and it's weird but she doesn't know what to do, she doesn't know this girl, she doesn't really want to get to know her. Decides to put the red head out of her misery.

'This is me' she announces at White street, Emily looks up at her surprised with her eyebrows raised, only been walking a couple of minutes and she's back, she knows what she's thinking.

'Oh' she simply says, hears disappointment in her tone and frowns. She's lying; she doesn't live here, actually lives at least another 20 minutes away, doesn't want Emily taking her the full way, doesn't want her to know what street and where she lives, and can't stand this awkward quiet tension between the two of them. It's not like she's going to find out she's been lying, she promised to only walk her to the end of the road and she's not going to be seeing her again anyway.

They face each other, she's waiting for Emily to walk away, anything so then she can turn the opposite direction and actually walk to where she really lives, she wants to be alone, needs to think through what happened tonight and what she's going to do, Emily still hasn't walked away. Naomi's confused; Emily doesn't seem like the cocky girl that offered her a drink anymore until,

'Can I have your number?' it comes out quiet and she almost chokes on her own breath, her eyebrows shoot in the air at the smaller girls request, she shakes her head harshly.

'Why?' she asks, actually intrigued, Emily shrugs her shoulders

'I want to see you again' she panics, wants Emily to realise that this was a onetime thing, there never going to see each other again, definitely never going to be sleeping together any time soon. Before she knows what's happening, Emily's reaching over and grasping her hand, linking them together and swinging it in front of them.

'I like you' she finishes, Naomi flinches, Dragging Emily's hand out of hers, pushing her shoulders lightly so there is space between them.

'Look this was just...' she sighs, doesn't know what to say to the girl in front of her 'I didn't...' she tries again, groaning in frustration.

'This isn't going to happen again okay?' she says, Emily bites her lip whilst Naomi continues 'I felt,' she doesn't know what to say 'I just needed to feel wanted' she admits sadly.

'Take my number then' Emily offers weakly, almost in a begging voice as the redhead rummages through her jeans, probably looking for her phone, she shakes her head before Emily can get too far.

'Thanks, but I'm going now, get home safely' with this she turns around, walking down White street, she'll take the long way home she decides, not wanting to turn around to face Emily, knows Emily is still standing on the corner with her eyes on her back, Naomi's relieved she didn't follow her, happy she's got away.

She barely remembers reaching the house after the long journey home, streets filled with men eating kebabs and groups of women off their faces clinging to each other's arms. She showers, hot water running down her body, hair draining the toxins of the club, she wasn't trying to rid Emily's touch, didn't even care if her scent was still on her. Daniel wouldn't know anyway, he wouldn't know that Emily smelt of lemon and tobacco, he barely knew what his own fiancé smelt like anymore.

She walks into her sons room next, rockets and spaceships painted across the walls and not one football poster in site, he hated it, completely had no interest in football at all, which she was thankful for. Remembers the pile of football shirts in the back of Connors wardrobe, hidden away from the rest of his clothes, birthday and Christmas presents off his dad. His blanket is lifting up and down from his breathing and she smiles, leans over a plants a small kiss on his nose, he hates when she does it but she loves doing it. She feels guilty then, this innocent child in the middle of one of her giant fuck up's, she fucked up. She notices he's not tucked in properly, that he's actually not even wearing his pyjamas, sighs because when Daniel isn't home she lets him sleep in the double bed with her.

She leaves, leaving the door slightly ajar for light to get in, walking down the hallway and releases her damp hair from the towel, throwing it to the floor and pausing before she opens the main bedroom one, she knows what she's going to find, and when she walks in she's not surprised when she's right. Him sprawled across the bed, deep snores coming from him, the only light in the room coming off the unused laptop resting on his stomach, folders full of papers fallen to the floor on his side, she's rolls her eyes, she's not cleaning it up, she pulls the bed covers up, slightly more harshly to get it from under Daniel's weight, closing the laptop over and pulls the cover back over her, head hitting the pillow instantly, maybe he wouldn't of even noticed if she stayed at Emily's all night, probably wouldn't realise if she let Emily fuck her all morning she adds as a afterthought, she knows it's wrong to joke about it, squeezes her eyes tightly shut at just thinking about what she did tonight.

'Good night?' Comes the voice behind her, its cold she picks out straight away, the complete opposite to the way Emily asked her outside the club, he's almost asking for her to apologise for going out. She doesn't move when she answers.

'Yeah, it was alright' she barely whispers, pushing the covers up more so they reach her neck, she hears him shuffling around, laptop being placed on the floor.

'Only just got in?' he asks again, and she can't help but feel like she's being accused of something, because yes she did sleep with somebody else tonight, and it is already cutting her up inside and it's been less than a hour. She can't help but repeat the same thing, Emily was easy, didn't want anything from her and certainly didn't have any responsibilities with her, and she was a girl and no emotional attachment was formed at all.

She turns around, notices that he's not even looking at her, he's still lying on his back with one of his arms slung around his eyes, she rolls her eyes at the lack of contact they have, the only thing they talk about anymore is bills and sometimes that's enough to make her want to pack her and Connors bags and leave.

'Been in Connors room for a bit' she answers, waits for his expression but nothing changes, bites her lip 'How was he tonight?' She wants to know, really needs to know because she knows how there really isn't a bond between the two.

'Fine' he simply says over a yawn, before he completely turns his back to her 'I've got to be up early, driving to London at 8' he doesn't say goodnight, just rests his head in the pillow and begins to snore again, and of course she thinks, of course when I actually want to talk about something worthwhile you can't be assed, she turns her back to him then, repeating his actions.


	2. Nothings that easy

**Thank you for the wonderful reviews :) **

**Hopefully you enjoy this chapter, Naomily scenes will start to increase as the chapters go on.**

**:)**

She finds herself trailing down Park Street a couple weeks later, one of the busiest streets in Bristol after 3 in the afternoon, Connor being unresponsive and running in front of her, not looking where he's going. Gina would usually pick him up from school when Naomi was working, but now she's out of the city for a view weeks on a couples retreat and Naomi has to leave work early, pick him up from school and then leave him with Effy at the shop, but today she's not going back into work, she doesn't feel well and can't be bothered with hundreds of her workers that just won't pay attention anymore.

The bell rings when they enter the shop, Connor running over to the turtles straight away when he spots them. He likes coming here, he's always loved pet shops so when Effy told us about the new job she had in there his face nearly split he was so happy, she didn't own it, she had even barely worked there for a couple of weeks but the owner was pretty shit and never showed up, always had Effy in charge of everything in there, opening and locking up.

'Effy' he shouts.

slight lisp since he began talking, he'll grow out of it in time but for now it's just cute to her, everything he does is, standing there proudly with in his red jumper and small hand stroking the turtles shell, she comes out the back room, mug in her hand as she smiles at them gently

'I want it' he shouts again, looking up at the blonde pouting and then back down to the turtle, she shakes her head frantically at Effy, she laughs.

'You can't Con, he lives here' she lies.

Walking over to him and crouching down to his height, he sighs sadly 'but how about a fish?' she looks up at Naomi for confirmation, he starts to bounce on his feet in excitement, Naomi sighs nodding her head at Effy, he's already ran down the back of the shop to pick one by time anything else can be said. Effy hands the mug over to her and she smiles at her thankful, taking a sip and then sitting next to her by the main cashiers desk, weirdly the place only gets a couple of customers a day, even less in the afternoons.

'Want to go out tonight?' Effy asks, wiping down the sides with a damp cloth.

Naomi freezes for a moment, she'd been avoiding that question for 2 weeks now, always having an excuse for whenever she was asked, she didn't want to go out for a while, didn't want to go back to that club, didn't want to see Emily again. She was probably a distant memory to the redhead now, a fuck, an alright shag she's probably known as, it bothers her more than it should. She sighs, pretends to be upset when she answers.

'Can't, Mum's away, Daniels in work and I don't trust anybody else, especially after Stacey fed him glue' stupid fucking teenage babysitters.

She takes another mouthful of tea, she knows Effy is going to persuade her, but she really doesn't want to go, puts her mug down to see Effy staring at her contently, she raises her eyebrow.

'Daniels working again?' she asks, the blonde nods her head confused.

'Don't you ever think he's...' she doesn't finish the sentence, words getting quieter as she carries on the sentence.

She knows what Effy's trying to say because she's thought it for years, coming home late, mostly working in London on weekends, the weird thing is that it's not the fact that he could have someone else that's bothering her, it's the fact that it's behind her back, but she's a hypocrite.

'No actually, forget I said anything' Effy finishes her sentence with a fake plastic smile. She doesn't listen though, doesn't want Effy to think she doesn't think about it to, leans back in her chair to make sure Connors still in the back of the shop out of sight before she narrows her eyes back at Effy.

'I always think about it' she admits, making Effy's eyes snap up to her in surprise.

She sighs. 'But what am I meant to do? Follow him to London every weekend like some bunny boiler?'

Effy laughs, raises her eyebrow at Naomi.

'You're right...' she says, smirking at Naomi.

'So how about tonight then?' she adds in sneakily making Naomi roll her eyes in amusement at the sudden change of seriously conversation to going out talk. There's only a couple of times you can use the excuse of having to be up for work or having a headache to get out of going out with Effy but she actually really couldn't tonight.

'Sorry' she says to her, shaking my head slowly. She groans dramatically dropping her head to the table.

'I'm bored, I just want to go out and have a good time, and I've been working all week!'

She wants to sympathise with Effy but she can't, she's been working all week too, then she has to come home and start work all over again, a different type of work, work that is harder than any other work, being a mother.

'You know you haven't just got me' Effy peaks up through her arms like she's just said the most absurd thing in the world. Naomi takes a swig of her tea, Effy still looking at her to finish off what she meant.

'Call Charlotte' Effy snorts

'Yeah because I'm her biggest fan right now'

She laughs too because she can never get tired of the story. They'd known charlotte since college; she was a member of the _group _as they used to call it. Naomi never liked her, she was loud and in your face and Naomi just wasn't. She stopped talking to both of them after Effy got caught with her boyfriend in a very uncomfortable position at Gina's engagement party a couple of months ago. Only this time she doesn't laugh, because after everything she's tried to forget with Emily it just doesn't seem funny anymore, she pulls her eyes up to meet Effy's concerned face and fakes a smile.

'Freddie?' she offers again quietly, hoping Effy didn't notice the change of emotion, smiles when Effy groans again lightly hitting her head against the table.

'Booooring' she draws's it out slowly.

'JJ?' she offers as a last resort, doesn't even get a reply this time, just an evil stare from the brunette in front of her, before she even has time to open her mouth or laugh she hears the raised voice of her son in the backroom, something about him wanting to get a mouse, Naomi shoots up, straightening out her grey blazer and smiling at Effy.

'I better take him home before we buy the full stock' she smiles.

They leave the shop, promises to call Effy later for their nightly chats. Holding Connors right hand as he holds his newly bought fish in the bag of water in his left, every time they visit the shop he always comes out with something, he has hundreds of those little fishes swimming around the tank in his room but it doesn't stop him from begging each time.

'Can we go the park?' she looks down into the hopeful blue eyes, eyes that mirror hers. She wants to laugh at the fact that he's already bored with the new fish, him just lazily flopping the small plastic bag around in his hand as the fish swims carelessly.

'Maybe tomorrow?' she replies carefully, knows Gina always takes him the park after picking him up from school and feels guilty that she can't be bothered to do it, she's been wanting to go home and rest for hours now, he nods his head sadly as they continue to walk. She basically has to drag him down the street now, sulking as they pass other children and parents. When they reach the bottom of the street her blackberry goes off, loudly ringing through her bag, she stops walking tugging at Connors hand before ignoring the caller ID and answering.

'Hello?' After the constant tugging Connor finally frees from her hand, running behind her to the clear glass window of another shop and squeezing his face against the glass, she's vaguely aware of the other kids inside playing about. She sighs when she hears who's on the other end, the assistant manager of the bank; well basically her assistant who never shut's his fucking mouth. She listens whilst keeping her eyes on Connor at the same time.

'What? Yeah, just tell him his accounts been closed' she argues down the phone, giving her assistant the instructions, feels kind of guilty because it was her who was supposed to be taking that meeting today.

'Now? I can't I've got Connor, I'll have to come in tomorrow morning' turns around to see Connor straying from the place at the window, still gripping the fish in his hand.

'Look deal with it okay? I've got to go' she ends the call, stuffing the blackberry back in her bag, she should be pissed off really, but her frown instantly goes when she see's Connor breathing than writing his initials on the condensation of the windows. Calls his name and he comes running over, tugging her over to the windows he's been fascinated with for the past 2 minutes. It's not the kids inside that he's interested in; it's what they're doing. She figures it must be some kind of day-care with the kids playing around in ball pit and slides.

'Naomi?' Connor doesn't even notice when her hand tightens around his, his face still plastered to the glass as if he didn't even hear the husky voice address his mum behind him, she freezes, and she's trapped and doesn't know what to do. 'Naomi?' she repeats lower this time, almost as if she's got the wrong person.

The blonde bends down whispering a quiet 'stay here for a minute' into Connors ear, he nods dumbly, she turns around slowly and stops breathing, she's met by the brightest smile, the redheads smiling at her surprised, happy and surprised and she's fucking confused again, thinks it's ironic that out of all the places and all the times she could see Emily again it's whilst she's with her son. Doesn't want him to see Emily, doesn't even want him to know Emily exists.

Emily's eyes narrow behind Naomi, looking at the small boy with an unreadable expression and then back up to Naomi's scared eyes, she flicks the burning cigarette out of her hand onto the street and approaches the blonde, Naomi notices nothing but the contrast of the red hair and blue polo shirt the redhead is wearing, she wants to run.

'Hey' Emily says once she's gained Naomi's attention again smiling at her shyly, Naomi doesn't move, doesn't actually think she can move at the moment, she manages a quiet hi then things go silent again, she's actually surprised that Emily still remembers her name, weird's herself out at the fact she's glad Emily did but wishes nothing more this moment that she had walked right past them.

'What are you doing?' she knows Emily's struggling for conversation and she's not helping her out much. Standing there like a fucking twat turning her head once in a while to make sure Connor hasn't run away. She doesn't know how to answer the question so she's silent again for a couple of seconds, Emily scratches the side of her head nervously, she wants to go with _taking my son home but then you turned up _, thinks that that is probably too mean.

'Just off home' she wants to keep it light, doesn't want to get into deep conversation.

'Oh,' turns out she didn't have to worry about that at all.

She turns her head around again, doesn't want to lose focus on what her son's doing, fortunately he hasn't noticed the awkwardness between her and Emily, too busy sitting on the floor with his back against the window, poking the plastic bag and smiling every time the fish swims faster, she turns back around and once again her breath catches, Emily's eyes are staring right into hers and she remembers that look, she knows what Emily's thinking about this exact moment.

'_You alright?' Emily whispers against her mouth pulling back to look down on her, her fingers working Naomi's body into a sweat that she's breathing heavily, gripping onto Emily's soft back with her finger nails as if she's about to fall._

'_Yeah' she replies quietly, this time she leans forward to kiss Emily, tugging the redheads bottom lip between hers and sucking on it gently, she feels Emily smirk against her._

'_I'm going to make you come so hard...again' Emily giggles voice floats around the room, only reaching Naomi when Emily is pushing deeper into her, and she does, kissing and pushing into her until Emily's promise is fulfilled._

'Mummy' she snapped out of her sex filled memory, noticing that Emily isn't looking at her with those eyes anymore, her eyes now curiously looking down at the little boy that's tugging on the blondes arm, the boys now soaking wet arm 'fishes leaking' he says, holding up the small plaster bag, water slowly running out of the bottom, fish losing water by the seconds.

'Fuck sake' she mutters under her breath, catches Emily's eyes smirking down at her. Connors stands next to her, squeezing the plastic and making the situation a lot more worse than it is, Emily clears her throat.

'Do you want to come in?' Emily gestures her hands to the day-care and Naomi looks at her confused

'So I can put the fish in a cup or something' she finishes her sentence off smiling.

'You work here?' she asks, Emily shrugs.

'Well yes and no' the blonde raises an eyebrow.

'My dad owns the gym and Uni's finished so I just help out a bit'

Naomi looks up at the place _Fitch Fitness _logo spread out across the paintwork, looks back down at Emily and notices the same name printed across the blue polo top she's wearing, feels like an absolute tit for not noticing.

'Gym?' she repeats again because it doesn't look like a gym, Emily laughs slightly.

'It has a play area for the visitor's children' she confirms and Naomi just nods

'So do you want to come in for a bit?' Emily says it lower this time, looking back up at Naomi with those hopeful eyes, flinches slightly when she notices Connor already handing Emily the fish with ease and the redhead accepting it with a smile.

'No it's okay, we'll be home soon and-' she's cut off by a groan from her son, looking down to see him looking at her with pleading eyes and then back to the window with the ball pit, thinks that maybe he actually poked a hole in the plastered bag on purpose.

'Wouldn't want to kill the fish' Emily jokes, shaking the draining bag in front of her, she manages a real small smile once before sighing in defeat, grabbing tightly hold of Connors hand and following Emily into the gym, careful not to get too close to her, Emily must notice the distance when she slows down her walking slightly, stopping in front of Naomi, Connors already ran off to the play area filled with kids, she sighs, hates being alone with Emily, hates even more that she doesn't know how to act around her.

'You can wait here while I find something to put it in' Naomi sits down on the supplied chairs, close enough to watch Connors doing from the distance it's in, Emily waves the fish lightly in front of her, biting her lip as if she's thinking of something else to say 'Unless you want to come with me?' Naomi's body goes cold, uncomfortably shifts in her seat as she looks back up to Emily.

'I better stay, he has a tendency to run off' she adds a forced laugh so it doesn't come out harsh, Emily's face drops slightly but she still remains smiling, tells Naomi she'll be just a minute when she vanishes through a door marked staff only and Naomi has that familiar thought again. Fuck the fish, let Emily keep it because Effy will give him another one anyway, grab Connor from the play area and get the fuck out of there before Emily comes back out.

'Well I think this will be okay' she hears Emily before she sees her, snapped out of her thoughts by the redhead walking towards with a plastic cup

'Unless he pokes a hole in this too' she says, mouth turning up into a small smile whilst handing Naomi the cup, the blonde actually gives her a genuine chuckle this time, both agreeing that he did it on purpose, she shifts uncomfortably as Emily sits next to her, both facing the play area with the noise of screaming kids around them.

'I didn't think I'd see you again' she closes her eyes for a second, knew that if she stayed here long enough Emily was going to bring that night up, wants to forget about the stupid mistake she made those weeks ago 'I'm sorry if I scared you away' she wants to tell Emily that she didn't, that it was actually a pretty fucking wonderful night, would of been perfect if she didn't have her fiancé at home with their child. Shakes her head because telling Emily any of that would be leading her on and she doesn't want anything to be taken wrong.

'Not now Emily' she simply says, narrowing her eyes at the redhead then over at her son, she takes the silent message nodding her head at the blonde and sitting back in her seat in silence.

'How old is he?' she turns her head to Emily, smiles.

'Nearly 5' is her automatic response, she's used to people asking his age, usually down to her looking so young and him growing up, she expects Emily to give her some disappointed look like most people would give her, she just smiles instead, which Naomi finds herself returning easily until she releases how long they've been looking at each other, groans again when her blackberry rings, promises to kill that twat at work if it's him again, turns out to be Gina, throws Emily a half apologetic look before answering.

'Hey' she simply says loud noise in the background.

'Hey love, you'll never guess what' she rolls her eyes, sick of her mum's fucking surprises, sick of coming home in her teens finding her mum fucking her politics teacher, sick of her announcing her engagement whilst drunk and definitely sick of her wedding plans. Turns her head and notices Emily staring at her hand with an emotionless expression, diverts her eyes to her ring finger. She didn't wear it the night she met Emily, if she's honest she never wears her engagement ring ever, started wearing it after her and Emily slept together.

'Well you know we were meant to be staying out here for a month...' her mum starts to sentence but her attention turns to Connor running back over to her, him looking around her for the fish and smiling when he spots it in the cup of the floor '... it's all a bit shit really, and fucking expensive' his attention turns to Emily then, the redhead smiling at him politely as he walks over to her 'so we're coming home early, wonderful right?' her mum finishes.

'What's your name?' she hears Connor ask, her stomach turns.

'Emily, what's yours?' she answers with ease.

'Connor' he answers back, smiling up at her.

'Love are you there? Aren't you happy we're coming home?' Gina calls from the other side of the phone, nearly forgetting that she was actually on the phone to anyone, Emily and Connor continue to talk, again she doesn't want them talking, doesn't want Emily talking to him more like. They need to go home right now.

'Yeah I'm still here, that's brilliant' she says, fake enthusiasm, Emily looks over at her smiling she turns her attention back to the phone call.

'Anyway we better go, boarding call and all, tell Connor I love him, you too dear' the phone line goes dead, and she can't help herself, needs to get out of this situation as fast as possible

'Love you too' she says, probably a bit more loudly that she usually would, wants Emily's attention this time, needed Emily to hear that last sentence, she puts her phone away, turning around to Connor smiling.

'We need to go, Dad wants to meet us' she lies of course, but Emily doesn't need to know it was Gina on the phone, and she can't argue with wanting to leave for Connor to see his dad. Waits for Emily to end the conversation with her son before she stands up, attaching Connors hand in hers.

'Well thanks for, you know' she shakes the cup in her hand, Emily smiles at her.

'My pleasure' with one last smile, Naomi turns around, towards the exit, glad that she can go away and avoid walking past this place ever again, can't believe she was stupid enough to even come inside.

'Will you come back?' she hears it but doesn't answer, just walks away until she's out of Emily's sight.

It's later that night when she's getting ready for bed that she realises things don't go away too easy, she hasn't stopped thinking about the redhead since she got home, how calm she was seeing Naomi's son, Emily working just a few streets down away from Effy, frightened how even though she was scared every minute she saw her today she was also excited that she still remembered her. She's about to turn the light out and go to sleep when Daniel walks into the bedroom, toothbrush in his mouth reading something in his hands.

'Who's Emily?' her eyes bolt open even though he's not accusing her of anything more curious, sit's up to see he's not even that focused on it, too busy looking in the mirror while he brushes his teeth.

'Emily?' she repeats, her voice quivering, he turns around.

'Yeah, found this in Connors coat' he hands her the small piece of card, a Fitch Fitness business card, only on the back is the hand written mobile number, Emily's hand written mobile number, she doesn't even think about it for a second before pure rage fills her body, she's quick to hide it.

'Oh just some day-care teacher' she says and even though Emily isn't a day-care teacher it's the best thing she can come up with and doesn't want to look suspicious, he smiles in the mirror at her, mouth filled with toothpaste

'Day-care?' he raises his eyebrow, she shrugs.

'He needed somewhere to play' she explains shrug of the shoulders; he accepts the excuse straight away, coming back into the room with a fresh mouth, kissing her gently before he turns over in the bed, falling into a deep slumber, if only she could do the same.

She's awake again, early hours in the morning and pacing the kitchen in anger and her phone glued to her hand, wants to know what the fuck Emily was thinking when she slipped this number into his coat, doesn't want her child to be used as some fucking passing device, if she wanted the number she would of asked for it. Goes over the number of things that this could have caused in her head, pulls out the card with her number written on and furious hits the buttons of the phone until it's ringing...


	3. Stop holding on

**Glad people are enjoying this, thanks for reading and reviewing. **

**This is chapter 3, no doubt chapter 4 will be up soon.**

She thinks if she grips her phone any tighter it'll crush in her hands, turn to dust right in front of her. She's so angry she wants to throw something, watch it smash into a million pieces right in front of her, knows she'll wake the rest of her sleeping family up in the apartment if she does it. It's still dialling, the more she's waiting for Emily to answer the more angry and nervous she's getting. She knows it was probably innocent to Emily but she can't help feel pissed that she used Connor, would do anything for her little boy.

'Hello?'

After dialling another three times the groggy voice answers, thinks about just putting the phone down, wonders if Emily is getting some kind of kick from fucking with her head.

'What the fuck do you think you're doing?'

it's harsh and sharp, probably a bit louder than she intended to say it, silently curses herself as she moves into the bathroom to keep the conversation private, doesn't want Daniel to hear all the things she has to say to Emily.

Emily doesn't answer straight away; Naomi wonders if maybe she accidently cancelled the call, or Emily just put the phone down on her, she hears heavy breathing then.

'Huh... what?'

She's drunk, senses it straight away by the fact that she's slurring her words, if she listens careful enough she can also hear the other voices in the background, shouting, screaming, the lot.

'I can't hear in here' she thinks Emily almost says it to herself than her, forgets that's Emily's young without responsibility, of course she's going to be out enjoying herself tonight, hasn't got a kid to bath and put to bed, hasn't got a fiancé to sleep next to her every night. The loud noise starts to subside, realises Emily's probably outside.

'Hello?' Emily repeats again, still slurring, the blonde feels almost bad for starting an argument over the phone, especially when the redhead clearly isn't sober enough to defend her actions, wonders if she should just take the original plan of ending the call without talking, Emily won't know who it was anyway, random number popping up on her phone that she'll probably forget about when she wakes up in the morning.

'Katie is that you?' forgets all that shit about letting Emily off the hook as soon as she hears this, wonders how many other fucking girls Emily gives her number out to on a daily basis, she doesn't care, tries to tell herself she doesn't fucking care, notices that her hand is now deathly gripping at the phone again.

'Nope, not fucking _Katie_ its Naomi' she spits down the phone, taking a seat on the corner off the bath, flinches when the cold hit's her bare legs.

'Naomi?' thinks about pressing the end button before Emily can start talking.

'You found my number' she sounds happy about it, glad that her number that she planted in the coat had been found, wants to tell Emily that it wasn't her that found it but Daniel, she doesn't want Emily to know they have problems.

'Yes I fucking found it, what the fuck did you think you were doing?' she's angry again, angry at herself more than anything that she wants to ask who Katie is, angry that Emily is blind drunk when she wants to fucking shout at her, tell her to fucking back off.

'Look, I'm sorry but you wouldn't take my number' she sounds pathetic, like a little child wining that the blonde rolls her eyes to herself.

'So you decided to use my fucking son as your fucking delivery system?'

'No! I didn't use him, I just, I just wanted-'

She stutters, cutting off half of her sentence sighing in frustration, 'Sorry, but I didn't, he's a nice kid'

'You don't know him' it's her automatic response, doesn't want Emily to think just because Connor was curious about her name he actually likes her, wants to be around her.

'No,' Emily agrees.

'I'm in the gym tomorrow, maybe you could bring him down again' she wants to stamp her feet on the floor, doesn't fucking understand why Emily can't get the message, she's not interested, Connor isn't interested, doesn't want anything to do with her.

'No Emily, we're not coming back' she goes with instead.

'Can you meet me?' she laughs, the time on her phone telling her that it's just gone past half 2 in the morning, not that time is the only issue. She just doesn't want to see Emily, definitely doesn't want to see Emily whilst she's drunk.

'You expect me to drop everything to come and meet you?' it's harsh, almost more harsh than she intended to sound, but she's tired and pissed off and would like nothing more than end this phone call and go to bed. Wonders why she isn't doing that exact thing, she has the power to do it, just can't bring herself to hang up on Emily.

'Oh you didn't seem to mind dropping everything a couple of weeks ago' she freezes, Emily's tone is bitter, she's still slurring but for that second she sounded like she sobered up a bit, 'Oh god I'm sorry, I didn't mean that' Emily pleads, her tone going lower by the wind that's whipping around the receiver 'Naomi don't listen to me, I'm drunk and-'

'Just piss off Emily, don't try and phone me back because I'll block your fucking number' ends the call before throwing the phone to the cold hard bathroom floor, watches the back fly off as it slips across the floor, throws her head in her hands, muffled scream. She's right, she's so fucking right that she didn't seem to mind that night, didn't give a care in the world. She doesn't know why Emily keeps pushing her, always wanting something from her that she's not willing to give. Her eyes snapping over to the phone vibrating and lighting up on the floor, and of course she thinks with a bitter laugh, of course Emily wasn't going to listen to anything she said. She lets it ring out, after the 8th missed call and unreadable drunk texts, turns her phone off, and wishes she would have called Emily from an unknown number. She still doesn't understand the decision she makes not to block Emily's number after it all.

She can't bring herself to turn her phone on the next 3 days; she looks down at it like it's some kind of disease she carries around in her bag. Only realises that today she's meeting her mum at the airport by Effy coming around to tell her. Giving her the _why is your phone turned off _speech. It's broke, she needs to get a new one, and Effy accepts this excuse. The three of them are sat in Bristol airport 6pm, mums flight was delayed of course. Wonders if they'll just happen to bump into Emily today, turn around and see the red hair walking past her, Effy noticing her and calling her over, she thinks about how random it would be if Emily was actually in the airport the same time as her, her thoughts have been about the redhead for days and she's struggling to control it.

'What's wrong with you?' she looks up to see Effy smirking at her. She was pretty sure Effy was in the middle of a conversation with her when she zoomed out, looks at her apologetic before shrugging.

'Sorry, what were you saying?' Effy shakes her head, looking down at Connor.

'He needs to toilet' she raises her eyebrow.

'But you're too busy daydreaming so I'll take him and let you get back to it' she smiles at her, watching as she leads her son down the airport and into the toilets, he's trailing behind her, too amazed by the sound of the planes to actually care about his full bladder.

She feels guilty, she constantly feels guilty now, finds herself wanting to take Connor the long way to school just so she can pass the gym, and tells her self how much of a terrible idea it is. Wonders where Emily is and what she's doing when she's at the breakfast table, wonders if she's with this Katie girl, racks her brain with who Katie might be.

When she sees them come back she makes the decision to stop thinking about her, needs to concentrate on the things that matter and not this, this thing that she can't seem to work out at the moment. Keeps a tight lipped smile when Effy and Connor reach her again, smiling more when she see's Gina and Kieran coming out of the arrivals, cringing when she sees her orange glowing tan and sombrero around the luggage trolley.

The drive back to Gina's is a fucking nightmare, she's driving whilst her mother rustles around in her hand luggage in the seat next to her, wants to tell her to piss off because she can't considerate on the road, feels bad because she's only looking for the gift she bought for Connor, the excited 4 year old sitting in the backseat, hand holding Effy's as she looks mindlessly out the window. Next to her is a tired looking Kieran, holiday not doing any good for his pale looking old skin, Connor comments on how _grandad_ smells weird, obviously the pre alcohol before their flight. It was weird at first, Connor calling him grandad, he didn't seem to mind but she found it almost disturbing, she's used to it now though, he has been with her mum since the birth.

The adults sit in the kitchen whilst Gina rustles some of her famous vermicelli soup up, she wants to laugh because since Gina went to Mexico everything to do with Mexico is now her speciality. Connors left in the living room playing around with his presents, she couldn't help but look at her mum confused when she slipped a couple of money notes into his hand, apparently nothing in Mexico was good enough for her grandson.

'So what's the plan for the weekend girls?' Gina turns around, smiling down at them whilst she continues to stare the spoon over the oven, she shrugs, she would usually take Connor out on the weekends, or one of his friends would come over and Naomi would sit and watch them play whilst running over some of her clients account on her laptop, Effy has other ideas.

'We're off the pub' Naomi turns to her with her eyebrows raised, catches the small smirk and then Effy is back on her phone texting and smiling every time it vibrates.

'Sounds lovely' comes the response from her mum, she looks up at her with wide eyes.

'Am I the only one that remembers in this house that I have a son?' she turns to Effy 'I can't go out, I need to look after him' she states, turning her head down to the paper and continues to read the article.

'We have to, Cooks invited us to some pub and I'd said we'd go now' her hand freezes on the paper, didn't know that Effy still was in contact with him, she can't go the pub, Emily will be there and she doesn't want to see her, something's telling her to go anyway.

'Nonsense, I'll take Connor this weekend and you girls go out and have a nice time' sighs at the fact that at this moment Gina chooses to come home and want to take her son, she declines with a headshake.

'Mum I can't let you do that, you've just come home today, you must be tired-'

'I'd love to have him, I haven't seen him in a while and I can take him to that new film he keeps talking about' her mum seems excited, doesn't want to let her down by telling her she can't take him this weekend, reluctantly agrees making Effy leap forward and throw her into a hug.

She spends ages getting ready, at least a hour longer than Effy does, getting back to her apartment and rummages through her wardrobes, applying and reapplying her makeup to get it perfect, tells herself she wants to look nice for the people around her, can't stop thinking about Emily the entire time, she wants to look nice in case she's there.

She's at all not surprised when she finds Cook with Emily at the bar when they walk in, it's horrible, Smokey and stinks of piss but apparently Cook's alright. As if she sensed it the brown eyes snap to hers, and then down her body and then back to her eyes, smiling, can't stop telling her that this was a terrible idea, she knew Emily was going to be there tonight obviously.

'Get me a drink' she says to Effy, pointing towards the ladies bathroom, Effy smiles, waving over at Cook and then walking the short distance to them.

She's aware of Emily's eyes still on her as she turns her back and heads over to the ladies toilets, pushes the door open and turns her nose up in disgust at the place, broken toilet locks, blocked sinks, chipped mirrors, possibly can't be that hygienic to be standing in her, she thinks Emily wouldn't be stupid enough to follow her in, oddly enough she's wrong about that too.

'Hey, you came' Emily's smiling behind her, watching the redhead in the dusty mirror on the wall.

'What are you doing here?' she's vaguely aware of Emily's smile slightly faltering, she shouldn't really be asking this, It's Cook's uncle's pub and their friends, flatmates. In fact if she's right she and Effy are the ones intruding not Emily.

'I'm always here...' she replies like it's the most obvious answer in the world, lifts her hand up to mess with her red locks awkwardly before remaining eye contact with the blonde 'Listen about the other night, I didn't mean to you know' Naomi nods her head 'I was drunk'

The blonde scoffs, turning around from the mirror to actually face Emily in person, heart pounding against her chest when she comes face to face with her porcelain skin, beautiful brown eyes, and small cute smile placed upon her lips 'You're always drunk' she states and from what she knows of Emily, which is very little, is that she's always out drinking, wonders what other things she's interested in that's potentially not going to kill her.

Emily doesn't say nothing, just eyes Naomi up with a smirk, she's sick of this, Emily trying again to get something from her she's not willing to give, she rests her palms on the sink, leaning back on it slightly. 'Did you know I'd be here?'

'No, no' Emily stutters, eyes widening at Naomi's question, the blonde raises an unconvinced eyebrow at her.

'Well cook mentioned it' she says quietly, before looking up at Naomi through her thick eyelashes 'You're the only reason I'm here' she admits shyly.

'You're really full on, you know that?' she doesn't know why she does it, should shout but she doesn't, even throws a small smile Emily's way. Redhead seems surprised by Naomi's response, probably didn't expect her to be so playful about it.

'Yeah well, it works better than taking the subtle approach' she smiles, about to respond with an even more sarcastic comment when she catches herself, she's flirting, flirting without even noticing it and Emily knows they are too from the look on her face., Clears her throat before straightening her top down.

'I better get out there, Effy will be wondering where I am' walks past Emily without looking at her face, holds her breath the entire time before she reaches outside, Effy and Cook at a table in the corner, realises that when Emily comes out she'll be on the seat next to her. Sits down just in time to witness the tonsil tennis match that they start to compete in, they eventually break apart when they hear Naomi gagging, Cooks laughs.

'Jealous Blondie?' she makes a disapproving noise from the back of his throat that makes him laugh harder. 'You know what you need?' she shrugs her shoulders at him, he wiggles his eyebrows

'Good hard shag' he groans when Effy kicks in under the table.

'Chill babe, all I'm saying is that she should try and pull a fine gentleman in this establishment'

'I'm taken thanks' she produces her head in front of his eye sight, ring glistening in the dull light, he squints his eyes when he sees it, massive grin breaking out across his face.

'And why should that be a problem?' he looks up then, smile growing bigger 'never seemed to bother Emily' she freezes, wanting to know what he means, wonders if Emily told them about their night.

'What never seems to bother Emily?' comes the voice from above her, and then Emily's there looking down at them with a confused smile, taking the chair next to her and taking a sip of the half pint of beer she left down.

'Just how rings don't scare you off' the pint freezes halfway to her lips, and Naomi suddenly feels the urge to claw her nails down the oak table, she knew Emily wasn't new to this, cheating, affairs, one night stands so it shouldn't surprise her really, doesn't know why she's suddenly jealous.

'Cook _don't_' Emily begs, he just laughs.

She has to sit there then, at least 20 minute discussion about Emily's sex life. She wants to know why Cook would even know so much about it. Her nails only dig tighter into her chair when Cook slips in that Emily has slept with a man or two in her time, she feels sick. The worst part is that Emily keeps sending her apologetic looks, trying to stop Cook from revealing more of her dirty secrets. Feels worse when Effy starts to laugh along with Cook and all she can do is sit there and watch an embarrassed Emily try and stop the conversation.

'What are you having to drink?' Emily's looking at her desperately, knows that the redhead was watching her all the way through the sex conversation, Naomi looked numb, she should of been laughing at the stories of Emily sleeping with random straight women, didn't want Effy to think something was wrong so she'd add a chuckle in now and then.

'Nothing' she answers plainly to Emily.

'But it's my round' the redhead persists, Naomi shifts in her seat, turning around to face Emily.

'_But _I don't want a drink' she spits, table going silent then, vaguely aware of Effy nudging her under the table and giving her a disapproving look she just shrugs, notices Emily silently sit back down in her seat looking more than slightly embarrassed than before, Cook does a nervous laugh before raises himself off the seat. Making a dirty little joke about his cock overflowing before he walks into the men's, Naomi doesn't even want to think about how dirty it would be compared to the girls.

'So Emily, seems you have a history' Effy speaks straight away, Emily blushes again, hiding it with her pint before putting the glass back down on the table.

'Yeah well, we all have a past' looks at Naomi whilst saying it; even though Naomi isn't looking back she can see her from the corner of her eyes. Effy snorts, nodding her head amused.

'Quite an amazing past though' Emily chuckles quietly, shrugging her shoulders calmly again.

'Yeah well, I was young and stupid'

'You can say that again' she doesn't think about it, just comes blurting out the blondes mouth before she can control it, both pairs of eyes around the table snap to hers. She quietly picks up her wine, sipping at it whilst Effy gives her the look again.

'I don't really like to talk about it; he just fucking brings it up all the time' Emily complains, Naomi just scoffs, putting her glass back down, she can't control herself an doesn't know what's happening, starts blurting out random stuff that she should really say.

'Oh but I bet it works to your advantage? Women must be impressed when they hear about your conquests' Effy's eyes widen at the harsh tone in Naomi's voice, Emily staring her down with those brown fucking eyes.

'You people moan on and on about equal rights when you just fucking use them to your advantage anyway'

'Naomi!' The brunette tugs at her arm, making her put her glass back onto the table before looking at her, she knows what she's saying _what the fuck are you doing_ she suddenly just doesn't care anymore.

Emily's eyebrows scrunch together 'You people?' she repeats in a disgusted tone.

'Are you trying to say we shouldn't be treated the same as everybody else?' it's getting heated, knows this by the small detail of Emily standing up from her seat now, Naomi just shrugs casually

'You think I flaunt it for attention?'

' I don't know Emily, whatever way you put it still doesn't make it right' that's when she knows she's overstepped the mark, Emily could tell Effy everything between them now, knows she shouldn't of said it and she definitely didn't mean it at all, couldn't control herself, still getting images of Emily laughing with Cook about the women. Ready for Emily to start a blazing row, looks up after a couple of seconds of silence, heart breaks when all she see's is Emily, tiny Emily standing with tears glazing her eyes. She turns around; pacing fast to the exit, Naomi wants to hit herself in the face.

'What the fuck was that?' her eyes haven't left the exit, still watching where Emily walked out seconds ago. 'Since when did you turn Britain's number one homophobe?' she snaps her head around to Effy, Effy who's looking at her in disbelief.

'I'm not homophobic!' Effy scoffs, shaking her head in disappointment at Naomi.

'Could have fooled me, Jesus you really fucking ripped into her, you better be making plans to move off your fucking ass and apologise to the girl, you've been a right moody fuck all week' doesn't have to disagree because Effy's right, snapping at people for no reason has always been Naomi's way of dealing with stress.

'Back Ladies, Oi, where's red gone?' rolls her eyes at him.

She walks out the place just in time to see Emily walking down the road, slim arms wrapped around her torso as the night air whips around them, she doesn't know whether to just leave her, knows what she done in the pub was terrible and completely uncalled for because all Emily did was have a good time, she decides to follow her.

'Emily' she calls out reluctantly.

'Fuck off' the redhead doesn't turn around; Naomi doesn't miss the sound of her upset voice, can't be sure but thinks that Emily might be crying, her stupid mouth making the girl she thought was tougher than most people cry, she sighs.

'Where are you going?' she offers again, looking around the dark roads. She doesn't like this area, doesn't like the look of men outside the pub finishing their pints and certainly doesn't like the feeling of the tiny girl in front of her walking the streets alone, Emily still doesn't stop.

'Home, you know the place where _us gays_ should stay' she shouts back sarcastically, Naomi keeps following her, rolls her eyes at Emily's last comment, she's not homophobic so she doesn't know why she was acting like that. Stupid of her to try and act like she's against them so that Emily would back off, she hurt herself by hurting Emily like that, admits to herself that it was raged by jealousy.

'I'm sorry okay? All that was kind of harsh' Emily stops, the blonde freezes, didn't expect Emily to come to a stop like that, doesn't know whether to continue to walk so she's standing in front of her or not, she does though, walking up behind Emily who turns around slowly, wiping her red blotchy eyes and staring at Naomi, only this not she's not looking at her like she normally would, all Naomi can see is disgust.

'Kind of harsh? All you needed was some rope and a flaming fucking torch' she spits at her, Naomi feeling the small slices of spit hitting her face in the cold night, she doesn't care, doesn't care about anything except that look on Emily's face, feels guilt pour through her body

'I shouldn't have to fucking deal with people like you' Naomi doesn't know what to say, knows Emily is right, she just nods her head sadly, eyes not meeting Emily's.

'Don't take your fucking problems out on me just because your life is a fucking disappointment'

Her head snaps up instantly, Emily's writhing with anger turns around and is walking again, she should leave it, she's apologised to Emily now, leave it and go back to Effy but she can't and she doesn't, wants to know what Emily meant by the last sentence, she doesn't know anything about her fucking life, fucking nothing.

'What's that supposed to mean?' Emily stops again, turning around laughing slightly manic, the redhead walks towards her, lifts her hand and strokes Naomi's left cheek with her fingertips, she flinches away from the fingers which makes the smirk grow even bigger Emily's face.

'You can't handle it can you?' Emily's getting closer and she's stuck between wanting her to and turning her back to the redhead.

'We had sex; pretty amazing sex and you can't handle it' Naomi hates the way Emily's voice has changed seductive like the night they spend together, hates that Emily is even bringing this up, hates the fact that she's going to have to talk about it, Emily's hand lifts again, finding her cheek.

'Stop it' Naomi half heartedly commands, batting Emily's hand away from her face.

'Can't handle that we had sex' Emily repeats.

'Can't handle that you might actually of liked it' Emily's in her face now, can feel her breath on her cheek, see her eyes shining still from the tears.

'Can't handle that you want to do it again' she finishes.

'I'm going back inside' The blonde announces, Emily laughs lightly, Naomi eyeing her in confusion, scared she's giving too much away with her eyes, scared that Emily might see that she was right, Naomi's terrified, Emily's right each time. Emily stops her by grabbing her hand; only thing between both of them touching and for the first time the blonde isn't flinching away.

'Let me kiss you' shakes her head at the redhead, breathing getting heavier but Emily doesn't care and before Naomi can walk away she's leaning forward and connecting her lips with the redheads. Naomi subconsciously groans with the feeling of Emily's tongue against hers again. She pulls back then, smacking Emily's lips off hers and furiously wiping at them

'I can't do this' she states voice breaking in process.

'Hey girls!' Naomi tugs her hand away instantly at the sound of Effys voice, turns around to see her waving from the pub door looking between her and Emily, probably seeing if they've started fighting yet, she smiles when she doesn't see any blood.

'Coming back inside? It's my round' she turns around, almost wanting to see if Emily's staying or not, hopes she stays, Effys still waiting for a response.

'Think I'm going to head off' Emily shouts over her shoulder to Effy, waving slightly with a friendly smile before lowers her voice and narrowing her eyes at Naomi 'I'm not asking you to _drop _everything, just remember I'm here' with that she's turning around, walking away from her, Naomi doesn't know whether to sigh in relief or start crying.


	4. A clear turning point

**The reviews for the last chapter where amazing and I just wanted to get something up for everyone. I doubt this chapter is my best but after this things will start to move on faster.**

She feels like shit, dry throat and pounding headache, all the typical signs of a terrible hangover. She wants to kill herself for not remembering to turn her early morning alarm clock call off, always sets it at 7am of a Saturday morning, get's herself prepared for the day ahead instead of wasting it sleeping in, wishes she would of unplugged it before it started screaming murder at her, making the pounding in her head explode even more.

She doesn't really need to get up today; Connors at her mums all weekend, so there isn't any baths to be prepared, clean clothes to iron or energetic little boys tugging on her hand to the park. She groans, rolling around in the white sheets that are wrapped around her naked body, adjusting her eyes to the bright light seeping through the curtains. She wants to fall back asleep, can't remember much about what she was dreaming but it's better than how she feels right now, wants to forget last night and how Emily leaving was just the start of the events.

Remembers watching an upset Emily retreat down the road, regrets letting Effy drag her back into the pub, definitely regrets letting the brunette and Cook throw drinks at her all night. Saves the worst part till last, the part that makes her feel guilt and shame wrapped into one, stumbling through her apartment doors at god knows time and jumping on her fiancé, ripping her dress off and letting him fuck her till she couldn't think anymore. He seemed to enjoy it more than her, the rough touching, the sloppy kisses, the heavy breathing as he got faster and faster, shuddering violently as she came and watching him collapse on the bed next to her, muttering about how great it felt, smiling at her whilst running his hands carelessly over her naked torso then turning over on his side and drifting off into a deep sleep whilst the whole time she remained in the same position, covers held against her breasts like a shield and eyes glued onto the ceiling, wanting to know why during making love to her fiancé all she could see was those brown eyes.

She sighs, she might as well get up because there's no chance she'll fall back a sleep now, isn't much of a surprise when she sits up in the empty bed alone again, it's always been like this, she gets up and he's gone, she didn't realise that work was going to be more important than she was. It's only the last few weeks that her morning routine had changed, she brushes her teeth whilst thinking of Emily, she showers whilst thinking of Emily, she even makes her toast whilst thinking about Emily. She doesn't know what to do anymore. She swings her legs at the side of the bed, two feet padded down on the cold wooden floor whilst she grabs her head in pain; she hasn't felt like this after a night out in a long time.

She finds herself walking into the kitchen 10 minutes later, naked body covered by a robe. Her eyes widen a little when she see's Daniel's still in, sitting at the breakfast table mug of coffee in front of him, eyes down on the sports part of the paper, he doesn't even look up to address her.

'Coffees in the pot' he mutters turning the page of the paper she manages a quiet thanks before padding over to it, waits for it to heat up again whilst she goes through the events of last night in her mind of the 100th time today. She held back her tears outside the pub last night, tells herself if Effy wouldn't of been waiting for her by the door she probably would have broken down in tears, still can't believe half the stuff she said to Emily, still can feel the taste of Emily's tongue on hers.

'_You people_' she scoffs recalling the words and shaking her head at herself in disgust. _Never let me drink wine again _her drunk excuse, the same one she kept repeating to Effy over and over last night, she told her it so much that Effy was probably becoming suspicious of the whole situation.

'What's that?' comes the voice behind her, she purses her lips together, pouring the hot coffee into a mug before turning around on her feet, false smile in place at Daniel as he looks up at her from his paper curious, he returns the smile.

'Nothing just talking to myself' she says laughing slightly and he buys it straight away, snapping his eyes right back down to the paper in a matter of seconds that he doesn't catch her eye roll. She used to love this, waking up in her own apartment, with her own family but then things changed, maybe things are meant to change and she can't adapt. Wishes Connor was here because he's the only person that can make her truly happy in the mornings.

She sits down at the table, seat facing him in silence; only sound around the room is her occasionally sipping on her coffee and his paper turning. She didn't know whether to start a conversation or not, didn't know if he wanted to be disturbed, eventually when the silence got too much for her she had to say something.

'Aren't you going to be late for work?' she noted that he usually left at 7 but not it was 7:24 and he was still sat calmly at the breakfast table. He lifted his head, looking over at the clock on the kitchen wall and then back to Naomi.

'Nah, Still got ten minutes' she was confused, every morning he would hustle past her and Connor in the kitchen, fight to get a place in the bathroom first, then complain when he couldn't find the right tie, but now here we was nearly half a hour after the normal time acting calmly, _probably just wants to get away from me _she thought laughing slightly in her head, probably true.

'You and Connor doing anything today?' he still wasn't looking up and now it was slightly irritating her, her mother might have not been one of the smartest mothers growing up but she did certainly taught her manners. Please, thank you, look people in the eye when you are speaking to them. Didn't want to bring it up though, it would just cause another pointless argument that she couldn't be bothered with.

'No, he's staying at mum's remember I told you last night?'

He looks up at her again lost, before nodding his head at her, finishing the last of the coffee in his mug and standing up, scraping the chair back.

'Speaking of Connor, Miss Perkins pulled me up the other day, he's being disruptive in school' he'd only just started school so she'd expected it really, he had a big imagination so being limited to one class and a couple of colouring and maths books wasn't really his thing, it would take time for him to fit in but she's sure he would in the end. 'He won't listen to anything she tells him to do' she finishes; Daniel turns around from the sink, narrowing his eyes at her.

'He's 4, of course he doesn't listen to her' she wants to roll her eyes again at this, actually has to restrain herself from doing it.

'We still need to go in and see her' she informs him, reaching for the cold toast in the middle of the table, takes a bite scrunching her face up at the taste, he sighs, tidying away his cup before turning back around.

'I'll talk to him about it, take him to a game next week or something'

'He doesn't like Football' she states again, doesn't matter how many times she tells people, or how many times Connor himself tells people, the footballs and poster gifts are still piled up in the corner of his room rotting away in dust, she hears Daniel laugh, her eyes snap to his.

'Of course he does, we watch it together all the time' Daniel watched it whilst Connor sat on the floor drawing pictures, smiling proudly when he finished and bringing them over to her where she's praise him, she looks over to the fridge, smiling when she sees the amount of magnets used to store her sons pictures.

'You watch it' she says, clutching her temple between her palms again.

'Okay, go to the fucking school meeting then but I can't go so you'll have to go alone' he snaps and her head shoots up. Her eyes widen when he continues to look around the kitchen as if he didn't just shout at her, probably looking for his fucking keys.

'Forgot you didn't care about him' she mutters whilst looking down into her mug, she feels childish doing this, making stupid accusations that she doesn't know are true are not, they certainly feel true the way he doesn't want to be involved in his education, she hears him sigh, footsteps across the kitchen floor before he's towering over her, she looks up.

'I do care' he says softly, laying his hand on her shoulder and squeezing it gently 'but I have to go now' he smiles, releasing his hand and she sighs because of course he has to go to work and again skip the important stuff.

'Tell you what, we'll go out for a meal tonight and talk about everything' he offers, she looks up surprised, surprised that he's actually considering her feeling and definitely surprised that he isn't trying to get out of talking about things for once 'I'll come home at 8 and we'll go to Sky bar'

For once a genuine smile lights up her face, Sky bar was their first date. Well besides the drunk nightclub incident, it was a couple of weeks before she fell pregnant, the food was shit and she felt out of place but it was a good night. They laughed, talked, fell in love. Love that fizzled out over the years but she was just happy he was trying. Kept smiling as he kissed her on the head and started walking towards the door, she felt relieved, relieved that this morning didn't end in an awkward argument. For a second she almost forgets things that happened with Emily last night, just for a second though.

She spent all day trying to busy herself, the house is clean so there isn't anything to tidy, no food is needed since her son isn't in the house to eat everything, she doesn't work on the weekends. She almost keeps her mobile in her hands all day, she'd deleted Emily's message from the other night, deleted the call log on her phone. Doesn't know why she did it since it's not like it would look like anything suspicious anyway. She'd wished Emily would phone her in a way; even send her a quick text weirdly so at least she knows how they stand. Kissing and then her walking away confused the blonde. She wants to have an excuse, racked her brain all night for something that meant she didn't have to feel guilty about making Emily cry. She felt more than guilty, she felt terrible, absolutely fucking terrible for making a grown woman cry.

Naomi Campbell was all about planning, another trait apart from manners she had learned from her mother growing up, and planning was critical and gave you direction, so when the blonde parked her car outside Fitch Fitness she was more than terrified. She didn't know what she was going to say, didn't even fucking know if Emily was actually going to be working in there today, all she knew is that she had to do something other than stare at her phone and wait for Emily this time. The fact that it has just turned dinner time made the streets busier than usual, and of course being Saturday the place was buzzing with kids. She sat in the car staring straight ahead for a couple of seconds, didn't want to try and look through the windows and see if she could spot Emily, she wanted to walk straight in, apologise and then straight out.

She got out the car, slamming the door shut before taking small steps towards the entrance, maybe she was busy today, it was packed and she probably doesn't have time to listen to some terribly put together apology, she tried talking herself out of it as she made her way over to the reception desk, turning her head around in every direction to try and catch Emily but she wasn't anywhere in sight, although the place wasn't short of crying children and sports clothed mums.

'You looking for your kid?' she snapped her head around to the large man in the reception seat, she wasn't one to judge but she couldn't help stare at the way the polo shirt barely covered his stomach, also the fact that he was eating his lunch on the job.

'What?' she said loudly, screaming children covering the place. He signed, slamming down the half eaten bacon sandwich on the tinfoil and pointing around the room.

'Are you here to pick up your child?' he repeated slowly, tad too patronising for Naomi's liking; if she wasn't already shitting bricks about being here she would have knocked the fat fuck out. She shakes her head at him, leaning slightly more over the desk as he looks up at her waiting for an answers, she clears her throat.

'Is Emily in?' he rolls his eyes, looking at her like he's just said something of offence before bending over, much to Naomi's disliking and rummages through a scrap book, when he reaches the page he wants he taps it with his finger, looking back up at Naomi with a fake smile.

'Nope, didn't show up for her shift, no phone call and no excuse' she sighs, shrugging her shoulders at the wasted journey, wonders where Emily is, why she hadn't shown up for work. She hopes she got home safe last night, she was sober enough when she left. Hopes she didn't go on to some other place and get completely trashed. Only realises that the man's still talking when she lowers her eyes to his lips.

'Typical of her this, coming and going when she pleases, Robs too soft with those girls' doesn't know why she's still standing there. She's got her answers, Emily isn't here. He's still talking but she isn't listening, knows where Emily lives but it's too risky to go around, Cook will probably be there and wonder what the fuck she wants 'It's terrible it really is but they're not the only kids to grow up without a female figure, and the way he goes on about them as if their god's gift to the world'

'What?' she asks, wanting to know what he means about the last sentence, he shrugs, lifting his cup and taking a dirty slurp before rolling his eyes at her, knows she hasn't been listening, probably knows that she doesn't want to listen to all this shit and rather what she came to find.

'Katie's in the back, I can shout her for you if you like' oh so Katie works here too, one of Emily's co-workers, maybe more than a co-worker. She looks down at him confused.

'Why would I want to speak to _Katie' _she spits the last word louder than rest, it doesn't go unnoticed by him, he looks around as if it's not him she's talking to before holding his hands up at her in defence.

'...Because she's her sister and she could probably find her for you?'

Her eyes widen, smile spreading across her face without even noticing it, he looks at her as if she's a psychopath but right know she probably looks like one. Sister, fucking sister, thought Katie was some girl Emily had been with, Emily muttering her name on the phone and her jumping to conclusions as usual. Realises that all she knows about Emily is her name and the place she works sometimes, doesn't know about her family, doesn't know what makes her tick, and does she like the same things as the blonde. Finds that she wants to find out. She clears her throat and drops her smile when she realises he's still looking.

'Wait, but what did you mean about female figure?' he shrugs again, tipping most of the wrappers from his lunch into the office bin before standing up and pushing the bread crumbs off his shirt.

'Is that all you wanted? Because now I have to go and make sure the kids don't break there neck on the climbing frames, not that it was my job today' he says smiling tightly before pushing past her. She watches as he reaches the play area, beckoning a crazy looking girl with the same blue polo neck over and giving her some kind of instructions. She wonders if he heard the string of swear words directed his way as she walked out the place, if he did he certainly didn't give it away in the friendly wave he through her.

She decides by half 7 that she should probably stop thinking about her now, stop clicking past her number that she recently gave a name to in her contacts, stop pretending that she's going to phone to apologise. The hours past agonising slow, spent almost 4 of them on the phone to her mum and Connor, him telling her about the brilliant day he had always made her smile. Nearly goes sick when Gina tells her Connor nearly walked in on her and Kieran getting a bit more than friendly. She thinks it's probably time she got ready, half an hour till Daniel will be home, always remembers how pissed off he gets when she takes ages to get ready.

Its 7:45 by time she's completely finished, impressed by how fast it took her to get ready and make her hair moderately alright, she didn't dress up really. Didn't think that sky bar was that classy to begin with anyway so she could wear whatever the fuck she liked. She in the middle of flicking through channels when her phone starts to vibrate, smiles when she see's Effy calling her.

'Hey Eff' she greats cheerfully, getting more comfortable on the couch.

'Cooks in my bathroom' is the instant response and Naomi's speechless. Actually presses the mute button on the remote until the TV's silent, pushing her phone tighter to her ear to make sure she actually heard that correctly.

'Effy, did you actually just phone me to say Cook is using your bathroom?' the blonde chuckles confused, she hears Effy sigh, speaking quieter, and she hears another door slam.

'That's not the point' Effy spits quietly between clenched teeth 'He's in _my _bathroom, in _my _house, don't you remember the rules?'

'There are rules to who uses your bathroom?' she repeats confused, Effy groans frustrated.

'Don't shag on your own doorstep Naomi!' she shouts, phone coming away from her ear as Effy's loud voice travels through it, she doesn't reply, just starts to laugh at the stupid rule that Effy had invented for them in college, apparently you never take anyone back to your place unless you're really into them.

'God, I like him' Effy sighs.

'What's so bad about that?' Naomi already has a list of bad things about it, more for her sake than Effys. If they start to date she's going to be seeing Emily all the time. Effy is a pretty big part of her life maybe that means that Daniel would eventually meet Emily too, she squeezes her eyes tight, doesn't want to think about it.

Effy doesn't answer her question 'I've asked him to stay over tonight'

Naomi can't even deny that her first thought was of Emily being home alone. She's about to answer when Effy interrupts her.

'Anyway he's coming back, what are you doing later?' she changes the conversation quickly that Naomi has to think a second before she answers, she's happy Effy likes someone because she's seen Effy with multiple people over the years and has never once told her she's liked them.

'Daniels taking me out for a meal' she states quietly, hears Effy giggle in the background, knows it's down to Cook and not what she's just said.

'Oh yeah, where?'

'Nope, not having you gate crashing' hears Effy laugh, she knows if she tells Effy where they are going her and Cook would probably turn up half drunk and make twats of themselves, always noticed that Daniel and Effy never really got on, she put it down to the age gap.

'Wouldn't want him to think I'm leading you a stray'

'Eff...' doesn't want to get into another argument about her up-tight fiancé.

'Fine, fine, enjoy your night, I know I will' she hears another squeak followed by a manly grunt before the phone goes dead again, she doesn't know whether to be amused or completely disgusted. Seconds later her phone was vibrating again, knew it would be Effy sending her some dirty message about her sex life, instant smile lighting up her face before she even read the message, just to be immediately dropped at the actual sender.

"Can't make it 2night, something came up, might be home bit late x"

She doesn't know what she's crying for really, the fact that he broke a promise to her again or the fact that he informed her in such a shitty way, didn't tell her why he couldn't make it and didn't even tell her why he was going to be a bit late, decided that she wants explanations for once, doesn't want to sit at home wasting her life on such a fucking loser. She dials his number, tears only coming down her face harder when it goes straight to voice mail, she's only just received the message yet he's not answering his phone, decides to leave a voice mail anyway.

'Fucking text message, are you serious? Well come home whatever time you want tonight _darling_ because I'll be at my fucking mums anyway' she grabs a bag, throwing random clothes into it, mostly hers, doesn't care when she knocks stuff off the sides, doesn't want to be in this apartment anymore, this lonely fucking apartment that feels like it's closing in on her. Can't believe that he would promise this, clearly doesn't want to talk about their son, and thinks about all the fucking excuses he's made up in the past. She's done, she can't do this anymore.

She's in her car stopped at the lights then, doesn't know whether to turn left or right, can't stop going over possibilities, what if's a lot of fucking maybes, she's turns right. Drives down familiar roads, knows she shouldn't be doing this, but she can't help herself. She doesn't know what's going on anymore but se doesn't know if she cares.

She doesn't even think twice before her wrists are hammering down at the door, thankful for Effy's fucked up relationships that Cook isn't here tonight, doesn't even know why she's here herself, just felt like she needed to be here. She hears the chains on the door unlock from the other side, she's nervous now, doesn't know what to say when Emily opens that door.

The first thing she notices when the door swings open are Emily's shocked eyes, shocked but also exhausted eyes as if she hadn't slept in days, her hair is messy, parts of curly fringe dancing around her face, she smiles though, a very small smile and before Naomi even tries to prepare a sentence in her head the blonde is walking towards the redhead, pushing her back into her flat and attacking her lips with her own.

'Naomi are you okay?' it's muttered through there kisses, she bites Emily's bottom lip, hears her wince slightly but she doesn't care, wants to keep kissing like this forever.

'I want to do it again' she says gently, Emily getting the message.

Kicking the front door shut with her leg as she guides Emily's body through the messy flat, stopping in the living room, both bodies hitting the couch as they continue to make out. Naomi's only vaguely aware that Emily is only in her underwear, pulls back to tug at her own cardigan, feels the need to rid herself of clothes, Emily helping her by carefully unbuttoning the buttons and tugging it off, before she proceeds to kiss Naomi again.

'wow' she hears Emily whisper when she pulls back, puffy lips and even messier hair of Emily on top of her, she takes Emily's hand, guiding it to her bra, wants Emily to take it off without telling her, the redhead leans down, her lips gently caressing Naomi's neck, the blonde stretches, giving her room to suck gently on her pulse point, she wants to feel like this every day, not have to be disappointed every single time she wakes up next to Daniel, she opens her eyes then, freezing slightly as she notices the bottle of wine on the coffee table, followed by two glasses, one half full and the other completely empty.

She feels Emily's hand sliding down her torso, about to enter her knickers when she puts two and two together, Emily already half naked when she entered the flat, two glasses of wine on the coffee table, she grabs Emily's wrist. Pulling back slightly so Emily's lips leave hers, the redhead looking down at her with concerned eyes.

'You've had somebody else around today' Naomi states, keeping her eyes on the wine glasses before sliding her bodies from under Emily's, leaving the confused redhead to hit the couch whilst the blonde stands up, attaching her bra back together, kneeling down to find her cardigan.

'Naomi?'

'Don't, I just came over to apologise for last night' she doesn't look at Emily as she starts to redress herself, buttoning her cardigan back over her bra clad breasts, running her hands through her hair, from the corner of her eyes she see's Emily sit up on the couch, looking up at her confused.

'I haven't, I mean, why would you think there has been somebody else?' she asks quietly, Naomi scoffs, turning around and pointing down at the wine.

'I know you like to drink, but two glasses to yourself is a little weird don't you think?' she continues to dress, pulling her skirt back down from where Emily had pushed it up and turning to face her 'I should go, this is just, fuck' she rambling, upset and just fucking jealous. Doesn't know what she's doing anymore, should of just turned left at the lights and went to her fucking mums, stops thinking completely when she hears Emily laugh behind her.

'Naomi, Cook had Effy over a couple of hours ago' she hears Emily stand, wants to know what Effy and Cook have to do with any of this, then she's walking towards her, black bra and knickers filled with Emily's beautiful light body making its way towards her 'I don't even drink wine' she gets it then, it was theirs and she feels like a twat.

'I'm going' she says hurried, making her way through the door, walking down the hall.

'Naomi why are you here?' she hears Emily behind her, following her through the flat, she sighs turning around and making sure they don't connect with the brown ones.

'I told you, I wanted to apologise for last night' she did want to apologise, couldn't help it when she saw Emily, automatically wanted more than just to talk, wanted Emily to kiss her, wanted Emily to ripped her clothes off, wanted Emily to fuck her again, finally admits to herself that she might like Emily, she's terrified.

'well I think that was the best apology I ever had' Emily jokes, tries to lighten to mood, it does a little, actually looks at Emily's face so she can see the smirk that's forming on her lips, lets her own lips be tugged up a little as well.

'You're going to leave now aren't you?' she hears the sadness in Emily's voice, nods her head back at Emily lightly. She doesn't know what makes her do it, stride over to Emily, lifts her chin gently and give her soft peck of the lips.

'I didn't block your number' she admits, smiling to herself before leaving the flat, as she's walking back to her car she can't help but think about how much more relieved she feels after seeing Emily, stomach turning when she thinks of the text, the stupid fucking text to blow her off for dinner, decides right there and right then that maybe she wants to see Emily more. She's definitely going to start doing some more things to bump into the redhead.


	5. Time to decide

**again thanks for the review/favourites/alerts really appreciate it!**

**anyway, this is chapter 5!**

She could hear the splashing of water echoing through her mum's house followed by the giggling of the little boy who was being bathed. She was sat at the kitchen table, laptop in front of her trying to work with the little internet connection she had. Her mum never believed in all of that, called it a disaster waiting to happen with all these signals flying all over the place, when she was younger she might of agreed, but definitely not anymore with the amount of work she had to do. She could hear her mother trying to give Connor demands, clearly he was trying to get out of using soap again, but nobody got past Gina that easy, she learned from experience.

When she turned up on her mother's doorstep with a bag full of clothing in her hands last night she tried to avoid the questions been thrown at her straight away, made excuses that she missed her son and wanted to spend the night with him but obviously Gina knew her better than that. Daniel hadn't phoned and if she was honest she didn't care, probably didn't even notice that she wasn't home when he got in anyway, and had a much peaceful sleep alone in her old bed anyway, even if her dreams were far less than PG about a certain someone.

She hears the creaking of the old floorboards, peeking her head up from her laptop to see her very serious mum leaning against the door frame, foam covering most of her hair and wet t shirt. She laughs, dying in her throat when her mother holds up a small pair of Connors underpants.

'He's going to run out of these soon' the sentence means a whole different meaning to what Gina was actually saying, she didn't want to talk about it. Rolling her eyes and diverting them back to the bright laptop screen. Due to Connor running in and jumping on her when he found out his mum turned up in the middle of the night she had been up since 8. Three hours later and her mother just couldn't drop the subject for a fucking day.

'So I'll buy him new ones, a lot of new ones' The blonde responded Gina sighed, hands holding the underwear dropping and slumping by her sides, Naomi could feel her mum making her way over to her, scraping back the chair in front of her, she thought her daughter was handling the situation rather childish.

'Naomi, you're being silly' she wanted to laugh at her mother calling her _silly. _She could think of a couple of words she was being, but they definitely didn't make her look like the bad guy in this situation at all.

'He cancels one dinner and you pack your bags? It's hardly mature love' she slaps her laptop closed, doesn't even think for a second to save the work she's been doing, hopefully it would automatically, she narrows her eyes at her mother, knows it isn't her fault, hasn't told her all the details about why she doesn't want to go back to him.

'Using a fucking text mum' makes sure she lowers her language so Connor can't hear from upstairs. Obviously she's not only pissed at the way she received the blow off, even if it was a pretty shitty way to be let down, see's Gina's face turn sympathetic as if she knows what she's going through, her phone starts to vibrate on the table, her mother's eyes snapping to it as if she knows it'll be Daniel.

'He could have been in a meeting, you know how those business types are' scoffs because she knows her mother is that stupid, wasn't in a fucking meeting, doesn't have the slightest clue what he was fucking doing, she picks up her phone still laughing bitterly at her mother's comment, Gina's eyes following it as if she's waiting for some kind of apology.

"_Drink later? A very friendly drink that is, you can even invite Effy?"_

She should freeze; she should suddenly feel the way she usually does when she shouldn't be speaking to Emily. Somehow she can't help but smile at the small text on the screen because it is funny really. Looks up at her mother's face, sees that she's also smiling, knows what she thinking as soon as her mum tries to peak over at the text.

'It's just Emily' doesn't want her mum to think Daniel put that smile on her face, instantly wants to smack herself at blurting her name out, her mum's face turns into a semi curious and confused look, scrunched eyebrows together.

'Emily?' her mother repeats, she nearly hyperventilates, replying to Emily's text at the same time of talking to her mother.

"_No, you should lay off the drinking"_

Smiles, she knows Emily won't think she's being a bitch again, likes that her reply is sharp and snappy, not rejection but not accepting it, looks up to see her mother still expecting an answers.

'Friend, playgroup teacher' she mutters at the same time, doesn't know if Emily and her are actually friends. She's had sex with Emily for starters, friends that usually do that, finally admitting that she likes Emily, doesn't think that friends are meant to find each other attractive.

'Playgroup?' Gina asks again, she just shrugs, knows she isn't going to get a straight answer from her daughter so she pushes the conversation on 'Look Naomi, I'm not saying the man's a saint but at least call to let him know where you are'

"_Bowling? Ice skating? I should warn you I'm champion on the ice and I don't skip work for just anyone' _she smiles, should frown, should text Emily back telling her they can't do anything together, decides Emily's cute when she texts, swallows hard when she notices how much of a school girl she's being.

"_You should go to work, it's important" _she replies quickly, turning her attention back to her mother.

'I told him where I was last night, so if he really cared about us he'd be here now wouldn't he' she doesn't mean to shout it as loud as she does, making Gina's eyes widen 'and he isn't here and I'm not making the effort this time' she finishes her sentence, standing up when her phone vibrates again.

"_Okay work it is. Visit me later?"_

She starts to walk towards the hall way, towards the carpeted stairs 'Connor get your coat on, we're going out' she walks into the living room, slipping on her shoes and grabbing her own jacket, might go to Effy's store, go shopping for a bit, might even visit Emily.

'Well what should I say if he phones?' hears her mum shout from the kitchen, walks out in the hall to see her mother leaning back facing her on one of the wooden chairs.

She's tugging her jacket onto her arms when she walks in the kitchen 'Tell him that I'm sick of being ignored' walks over to the side to retrieve her car keys 'I'm tired of him ignoring his son and the way he keeps worming his way out of talking about him he might as well not be here for him at all'

See's her mother's expression change, softer taking over her feature 'Oh love, you didn't tell me about that'

"_Maybe_"

she simply replies to Emily, nodding her head at her mother's about to respond when Connor comes running into the kitchen, little black parker coat and blue converse, she smiles, sending her mother an apologetic smile before leading her son out to the hall.

'Where we going?' she looks down at her son, him looking up at her with his massive blue eyes in wonder that she loves smiling back down at him she squeezes his hand.

She doesn't know why she said maybe because she was always going to go, after 2 hours of dragging her son around various shops, trying to get him into a new pair of school shoes which he successfully wrestled off and crying for the latest toys he's running into Fitch Fitness, thought he wouldn't even remember the place, as soon as Naomi pulled up outside in the car he was jumping up and down in his seat, something about playing on the slides which she couldn't catch by time he had ran to the door. She grabs his hand, linking their fingers so he can't run away from her this time.

It isn't packed like yesterday, she figured since it was a Sunday and most parents would just leave the kids at home with their partners whilst using the gym. The good thing about this is that she spots Emily straight away, doesn't know whether to approach her or not. She's kneeling down with a little girl in front of her, can't be much older than Connor, she's crying.

She feels her hand empty turning around to see Connor launch himself into the ball pit; see's the crazy looking worker playing around with the happy kids and deciding he'll be safe, feels like a twat standing in the middle of the gym alone. By time she'd walked her way over to Emily she's just in time to hear the last of the conversation, little girl now rubbing her drying red eyes and hiccupping.

'Now you go back over and play and I'll hit the fat man for you okay?'

She turns my head noticing that guy working behind the reception again, the rude fat guy, laughing in her head slightly that she's not the only one who finds it acceptable to call him fat out loud. When she turns back around to Emily the little girl is happily skipping past her and Emily is now facing her smiling, she returns the smile easily.

'Hey, I just, erm hey' stutters like a complete twat, wishes she could rewind time for a second when Emily begins to chuckle, she smiles, sure that a blush is starting to grow on her face.

'Hi' Emily says quietly 'I didn't expect, no well I didn't think, well of course I did invite you but' she trips over her words just as much as the blonde does, makes Naomi feel more comfortable that she isn't the only one who can't put a real sentence together around her.

'It's nice to see you' she smiles wider, nods her head at Emily.

'I brought Connor, he likes it here' Emily smiles now, looking over the blondes shoulder and to the play area, 'isn't this like a membership only thing?' she laughs.

'No, well yeah but I'm not exactly one for following rules' Emily smirks and Naomi doesn't know what to say to that, definitely knew Emily didn't go by the rules, drinking, smoking, late for work, but who doesn't do these things? Realises that she hasn't replied but it doesn't seem to matter because Emily's still smiling and she can't divert her eyes away from those brown ones, the small moment cut short by the sound of a drink can being opened, both eyes snapping to the reception.

'Who's the latest?' the fat man says to Emily, pointing his thumb towards the blonde, she feels awkward for a minute, latest being who's the new woman with Emily, suggesting she's had women here before, remembers not to judge Emily before she actually knows that's true.

'It isn't dinner' Emily snaps at him 'stop eating and get back to work'

He smiles, deliberately slowly dipping his hand into the open crisp packet, grabbing a handful of crisps and stuffing them into his mouth, she wants to be sick right then, might actually if he doesn't stop.

'Technically you're not my boss' he mutters through chewing, smug smile on his face.

'_Technically_, my dad is, and technically your ass would be out of here straight away if I tell him you've been shouting at the kids, get it fat fuck?'

He chokes on the crisp, face turning red with anger, probably about to abuse Emily some more but then the blonde snorts, bursting out with laughter right next to Emily, finding the situation funnier than she probably would. He puffs, muttering about them being bitches before throwing his crisp packet on the desk and walking into the staff room.

Emily spins around, Naomi trying to control her breath after the laughter 'Tea?' the redhead asks, she nods her head, this time following the redhead into the kitchen instead of waiting for her outside, she see's Emily smile to herself when they walk side by side.

When there inside she takes a moment to admire the kitchen, marble sides, stainless steel cupboards, she isn't much of a designer but even she can see this didn't cost a small amount, wonders how successful the gym is, if it's always been in the family, turns to see Emily clicking the kettle, grabbing a couple of mugs from the top cupboard, doesn't want one of those awkward silences.

'So this is your family's business?' Emily turns around smiling, nodding her head.

'Yep, how else do you think they'd give me the job?' she winks, still having that cheeky smile on her face, turns around when the kettle clicks again, steam shooting from the top of it.

'So should I expect your mother to walk through any minute in the same blue polo?' Emily turns around again, this time she isn't smiling so bright, wonders if she's done something wrong, decides to start talking about something else but Emily speaks before her.

'No, she was a beautician'

'Was?' she asks confused, Emily turns back round to the mugs, looking blankly at them.

'Hmm, yeah. Sugar?' looks down to see the spoon in the two, shaking her head as Emily begins to stare them both, awkward silence casting over them again, wonders if she's done something wrong, doesn't want to sound like a loser by asking Emily if she's done something wrong.

When they both walk out into the noise again it's still quiet and awkward, doesn't know what to say, doesn't know what to do, thankful when Emily turns around and smiles at her again.

'So what do you do then?' it's a simple enough question, easy to answer without going into too much detail about her life. They sit on the bench again, first time she came into the place, overlooking the children playing and also the clear window of outside, cars speeding past.

'Bank manager' she sighs taking a sip of her tea, doesn't get a response from Emily, turns her head to see her looking at her with an eyebrow raised. She smiles.

'Fun' is her simple response, rolls her eyes because her job is anything but fun. Wanted to do something else with her life, help people, not just help them cash there fucking millions, open and close fucking accounts and deal with stupid problems all day.

'When's the wedding?' Emily isn't looking at her now, looking down at the mug twisting it nervously, still wearing her engagement ring, actually surprised that Daniel didn't notice that she had been wearing it again but obviously he doesn't care.

'We haven't...' she doesn't know how to answer it, so many ways she could.

We haven't set a date.

I don't want to get married.

We're not getting married.

'I wouldn't want to bore you' she settles with, taking another sip of her tea when Emily's eyes snap up from the mug to hers, smiling gently.

'You couldn't'

And that's when it begins; she only means to tell Emily a little. Maybe about the pregnancy and engagement but she doesn't. Starts from the beginning, the fear, the hope, wants to stop herself when she thinks she's saying too much but doesn't. She's just clever enough to leave most of the relationship stuff out of it, because yes she might of told her how they got engaged because of their son but she hasn't told her that their not in love anymore, hasn't told her that she thinks it's over this time, hasn't told her that when she smiles at her the way she is now she can't think of nothing else but her.

Learns that Emily's 21, finished university on a health and social work course but now she's stuck looking for a job. Laughs along with her when she says she'll probably end up running the gym business. Finds out that Katie isn't just any sister, but she's her twin sister. She has to hide her cringe face when she thinks about her fucked up theory of them fucking before she knew they were siblings. She loves her dad, like really fucking love his which is a new experience for her since she never had a dad, see's Emily's eyes light up when she talks about growing up and helping him when he first started his gym business. She doesn't talk about her mum; any question directed that way is quickly avoided and turned into a question for the blonde to answer.

They're too busy laughing about Tom, also known as fat man behind the reception to notice the noise go down, lights dimming and one small kid left in the ball pit, still playing around like he's only just been put in it. Remembers it's Sunday, things shut earlier on Sunday.

'He's having a good time' she laughs, nudges his head over to Connor, she smiles still watching him, her little boy.

'Yeah, but unfortunately I better go and get him out now'

She smiles when Emily goes over with her, he's still bouncing about, throwing little plastic balls, smiling when he sees his mum and Emily approaching.

'Time to go home' she says softly, knows he hates this; he's going to protest, shout, stamp his feet, hopes she can control him around Emily.

'No!' Here it goes; see's him running through the multicoloured balls till he's nearly out of sight, climbing up the small climbing frame and into the plastic tree house at the top, she sighs, running her hands through her hair.

'Connor' she shouts again frustrated, he ignores her, watching her and Emily from the top of the tree house but not moving. Hears rattling, looks to the side to see Emily not standing with her anymore but rather making her way through the ball pit.

'Come on mate, you can come back' she stood and watched her interact with her son, she'd had a nice day, got to know Emily without feeling totally terrified, but she still didn't know how she felt about Connor and Emily. Didn't want him to get attached to someone she didn't know was going to be around. Snapped out of it by the sound of her Childs laughter, now out the tree house but still in the middle of the ball pit, Emily smirked at her.

'He said he'll come out if mummy gets in' she raises an eyebrow at the red head and smiling boy.

'No way' she says shaking her hand, ball pits aren't her thing, never were as a child and definitely aren't now she's a grown up, watching Emily pick Connor up, watching him giggle and kick his feet as she places him back in the tree house.

'Emily...' she warns.

'Oh come on Naomi, don't be such a bank manager!' hears Emily laugh, scowls in before kicking her shoes off, rolling up her sleeves and carefully climbing into the ball pit, fucking hates them, doesn't see why kids would want to play in them, aren't fucking fun at all.

Looks up to see Emily grinning at her, the blonde sighs, throwing her hands in the air 'I'm in see? Now can we all get out?' other people in the pit with her shaking their heads at her, should have known it wasn't going to be this easy.

'Come closer' she hears Emily say, swallows, shouldn't have the thoughts that are entering her minds, not around her son.

See's Connor disappear from the corner of her eyes, under the ball pit, popping back up and smiling to himself. Emily's still looking at her, tugging her lips between her teeth, love when she does it, fucking hates it as well. She walks through the balls, gathering around her as she continues to go through then, they can't be much higher than her knee, still feels like she's drowning.

It's all in slow motion then, Emily laughing, running towards her and pushing her shoulders until she's falling, back hitting the pit and her going under, feeling Emily fall on top of her, she laughs too now, she manages to pop back up, still smiling Emily on top of her and she freezes, this isn't the first time Emily's been on top of her, kissing her, making love to her. Emily's face falls serious then, her body resting on the top of Naomi's and without thinking again the blonde reaching up kissing her again, only no hesitation this time, they both want it as much as the other.

She's gripping onto Emily's back to keep her up, tongues finding each others, Emily running her hand through the blondes hair, gripping at the roots and pushing her more forward so that the kiss deepens, it's only when the blonde moans out at the contact that she jumps apart from Emily, furiously wiping at her lips and pushing Emily away so she can look over her, Connor fucking Connor, what the fuck was she thinking.

'He didn't see it' it's quiet, sadness to the voice, finds her boy in the corner still splashing around with the plastic balls, happily playing away as if nothing had just went on behind him, as if turning around wouldn't of confused him more than he already is.

'No but he could have' she spits, standing up quickly, and trenching her way back out of the pit, climbing over the plastic edge, and quickly walking to her shoes, Emily's on her trail, following her. Doesn't know why she's angry, she kissed Emily, not the other way round.

'Pandora look after Connor whilst I talk to Naomi' see's the crazy girl nod her head, running towards the ball pit like a little kid.

'No it's fine, we're going' Pandora stops, looking between Emily and Naomi.

'I want to talk to you' she says bolder this time, nodding her head at Pandora to give her permission. When she's out of sight she hears Emily sighing, standing behind her whilst she puts her shoes back on.

'So is this the part where you run away, turn your phone off but show up at my home days later, were we'll kiss again so you can do the repeat cycle? Because I'd rather you just fucking tell me now okay?'

She turns around, one show on foot and the other in her hand, Emily's angry, doesn't know what to do so she shrugs 'What do you want me to say?' it's lame, she hates when people say it but she actually has nothing.

'I don't know the true? I was an alright shag but you don't want anything to do with me anymore?'

'I don't know what you want from me' she says quietly, turning around to face those sad brown eyes.

'Just,' the redhead starts sighing 'stop giving me hope that you might actually feel the same way I feel about you' it's there, she's said it. She likes her, she has feeling for her, doesn't know if she should tell Emily that she likes her too.

'Cooks out all day tomorrow, you could come around but I suppose I might as well just find some quick shag to bring home, seems it's the best I ever get' redhead looks at her sadly before she's walking away, other hallway in the gym she's never been too before, thinks that this thing is getting more serious than she wanted.


	6. We're in a mess

**Hellooooo, sorry for the very late update, lets just say second year sixthform is terribly shit.**

**Anyway I kept starting and stopping this chapter, hopefully you'll like the lasting result.**

**Chapter 6!**

'Nice to see you've made a return' her hands momentarily stop packing the small black bag she has next to the pile of her sons clothes, hears his voice from behind her in the doorway, it's bitter and sharp so she doesn't turn around to face him, just waits to see if he'll just leave. Came home while he was purposely in work so she didn't have to do this, ignored his calls all night and changed the conversation every time Gina wanted to talk about it.

'Don't worry, We'll be gone from under your feet soon' shoots back not turning around, packing the last of the little t-shirts and zipping up the bag, it's the only sound in the room apart from Daniels heavy breathing. She turns around to see him leaning against the door frame, loose collar and tie pulled down narrowing his eyes at her and then the bag in her hands. She pushes it up to her shoulder, pushing past him and out of Connors bedroom, walking fast until she's in the kitchen gathering Connors school books off the table.

'I'm sorry okay? If a client wants to meet I can't reject them, it's business' he states calmly, following her around the kitchen as she now aggressively throws her sons coloured crayons into his backpack, laughing at the joke her fiancé has just told.

'It's always fucking business' she shouts, pushing past him again into the living room, searching fiercely for the things her son had requested she bring home with her. It was weird really, Connor didn't even notice the tension that has been surrounding him, didn't think it was weird that he had been living in his Nan's since before the weekend, didn't ask once where his dad was. Thinks children should miss their parents when they're away from them from a long period of time, blames it all on Daniels frequent departures.

He walks towards her then, reaching his hand forward and snatching the Spiderman figure from out of her hands.

'How do you think we pay for shit like this?' he shouts right back at her.

Shaking the toy in front of her face, her son's favourite toy, the toy that he just called shit,

'It's that job that's got us where we are now, roof over our heads, food to feed us'

He continues to talk but she turns around, grabbing a couple more of his toys before throwing them into the bag. Walks past him again but not before snatching the toy right back out of his hands.

'So this is what I get after 5 years?' he says as she's about to leave the apartment, she freezes, fucking angry, angry that it has to come to this, angry that he could even fucking say that, just generally angry that if she doesn't say something she might burst.

'We're not your fucking chore' she spits, he takes a step back from the volume in her voice, he's making it seem like he had no choice, had to stay because of the baby, she could of been a single mum, felt like she has been for the past 5 years anyway. She finds herself tearing up then, running down her cheeks without her noticing, his face softens but she doesn't care, hates feeling weak, hates feeling like he thought he even had to stay with her, her voice breaks

'We're your fucking family' she states

She hears him shouting her whilst she trailing down the street below, backpack dangling on her arms and box cradled into her torso as she made her way to the car, she ignored him, fucking loathed him at the moment. She couldn't help but look around as she loaded the car boot, quiet streets filled with expensive cars, nearest park 30 minutes away from where she was. She hated the area, thought she loved the fact that it was better than most areas but when she really thought about it and looked she wanted to slap every snobby bastard that walked past her.

She only truly felt like she could breath when she shut the car door, noises from the cars outside being drowned out as she clicked her seatbelt on and rested her head on the wheel. She had today planned out; having a restless night meaning she had time to think about what she was going to do. She had work till 4, Gina would pick Connor up from school again, take him back to hers and then Naomi would go and pick some stuff up from her apartment, now that was done she had one last part to do. She was going to see Emily.

It didn't help that after their small argument in the gym Connor hadn't been able to stop mentioning the red head. Telling his Nan about the girl with the funny coloured hair, asking when he could go back to visit her, to play with her. Gina thought it was nice that he had a place to go, made a joke about Connor having a crush on the older girl, it made Naomi cringe a little. For one he wasn't even 5 yet and definitely wasn't interesting in girls for the time being, and secondly if she were to put it in a childish way she definitely had a crush on Emily too, awkward.

She didn't know what Emily was doing home alone, didn't know what would happen because Cook was out all night. Didn't even know if the invite was still valid since Emily had stormed off yesterday, all she knew was that she wanted to see her again, felt like she would miss some kind of opportunity if she didn't, Gina would still think she was at home sorting her stuff out, see Emily for a bit and then go home. Knew Emily liked her now, from the pain look in her eyes yesterday she would be big headed enough to say Emily liked her a lot. She couldn't give Emily what she wanted, even if sometimes she did find herself thinking about what being in a relationship with her would be like for a second, she'd quickly occupy her mind with other things.

Everything was going so fast she didn't think about any of the other factors to this thing they have, especially Emily being a girl. She wasn't stupid, she also wasn't in denial, she knew that she couldn't think about Emily in the ways she did and tell herself she was straight. She knew she wasn't gay, having had a couple of gay girls in her college. Remembers the way guys used the drool at them, giving them no respect in the stuff they would say, the way girls would purposely stay out of their way in case they would hit on them, hopes Emily didn't get treated that way.

"_I'm out front, come down?"_

Sends a quick text to Emily alerting her where she is, hopes that Emily is actually in and she's not making a twat out of herself, she can't trust herself to knock, can't trust herself not to walk in again and throw herself at Emily, resulting in hurting her feelings again when she realised it was too much for her to handle. It was nice outside, they could talk without the constant nagging in Naomi's head alerting her of how alone and close they were.

She took a seat on the wall outside Emily's apartment, panicked slightly that there hadn't been a reply in almost ten minutes, she sighed, flicking out her mobile again and messing about with it, noticing the 2 missed calls from Daniel, unopened text from Effy, and frowning slightly at the friendly hello text from Freddie. They all went to college together, she was friends with him but she wouldn't call them close. She and Effy had always been the closest. Puts her phone away when Emily doesn't reply, she's about to give up hope and retreat back to her car when she hears the creak of the door behind her, feels like if her head snapped around anymore faster it would of fallen off.

'Why didn't you just come up?' It's full of confusion and sadness but she doesn't know why, can't concentrate when Emily around leaning on the outside doorframe. Looking down at her with those brown eyes whilst she stands glued to the spot. Notices Emily wearing a large white t-shirt and dark skinny jeans, figures she mustn't have been to work today since she's not wearing the polo. She looks at her watch then quickly and notices it's nearly 6.

'Coming in?' Emily offers again, nudging her head inside, the blonde freezes again, shakes her head at Emily's offer, see's Emily sigh then, walking out onto the step and gently shutting the door behind her. Taking a seat on the wall next to Naomi, she takes a deep breath.

'I just,' her voice is wavering and she hates it, sounds fucking weak again.

'I just came to tell you that you're wrong' looks up to meet Emily, a very confused Emily who opens her mouth to speak before Naomi stops her.

'I think you deserve more than a shag' she confirms, remembers how she felt when she took Connor home yesterday, Emily's words repeating in her mind, making her heart ache at how she thought that's all she could be to people, one night stands and nights of lies, Naomi knew she deserved more.

Her throat was dry, trying to swallow this huge lump that had made a appearance as she continues.

'I mean Emily, You're beautiful, funny, caring' she blushed slightly admitting these things to Emily, even if they were all true she never usually complimented people before, see's Emily smiling shyly at her from the corner of her eye and a warm hand slip into hers, thinks she's giving her the wrong impressions again, needs to end the sentence before this is turned in the complete wrong direction.

Pulls her hand away from Emily's slowly

'And you will meet someone else who sees that too' says it quietly, doesn't look at Emily to get her reaction, feels Emily's heat from next to her go and then suddenly she's standing in front of her, looking down at her and it's intimidating.

'I don't want to meet somebody else' looks up to meet Emily's determined face, feels herself grow more and more nervous as it goes silent them, breeze flying past them, Emily's red hair slowly blowing around her shoulders

'Do you even love him?' she barely hears it, Emily looks like she wished she didn't say it.

'Don't ask me that Emily' she hated that question, knew if she gave the answer that was true and the one that Emily expected she'd get another question she didn't like.

'Why? There should be a simple enough answer' she right there should be, she should be in love with someone she's been with for nearly 5 years, should be in love with the father of her child, should be in love if they continue to be together but she's not and she's scared. So she does what she does best, stands up from the wall and pushing the moss off her jeans before facing Emily.

'Connor will be wondering where I am' hates using her son as an excuse and now she's gone and done it, she's about to do the short walk to her car when she's stopped by a hand on her lower back.

'You're doing it for him aren't you?' Emily hands trail up her back until it's resting on her shoulder.

'Naomi you can't just be with someone because you think it's the right thing to do'

'What the fuck would you know about it?' she spits, it's harsh and Emily definitely didn't deserve the be at the end of it, she's right mostly, she's scared and wants Connor to have a dad, doesn't want him to be without, stupid really because she knows loads of single mothers in his school, still though doesn't hurt less when people ask about your father, she knows all that too well.

'He might be 4 but he's not stupid, kids pick up things like this' Emily's still so calm that it unnerves her, so she turns around again, eyes narrowing at the redheads. Wants to know what makes her such an expert with children, what's to know what she think her son needs.

'You've known us less than a month; actually you don't really know me at all' she's shaking now, half down to the fact that she didn't notice how cold the wind was out tonight but mostly to the fact that she's angry, upset, hurt doesn't even fucking know what she is anymore, feels her eyes well up again as Emily sighs sadly, shrugging her shoulders as if she's given up.

'You know what Naomi, do yourself a favour, go home and stop punishing yourself, obviously you don't know the difference between what you do what and what you should want'

She doesn't know how to respond to that but even if she did she wouldn't have time because the door had already shut and Emily was gone leaving her outside. She didn't come here for another argument, but here they are again, either one of them walking away each time without a friendly proper goodbye.

She feels the tears before she actually registers then, the breeze getting heavier now and making her wet face cold, she clutching her car keys in her hand, pressing the button till she hears her alarm beep off. Thinks about going home, doing the same routine of trying to forget about Emily again, maybe this time she will forget, then she'd move back with Daniel and Emily can meet someone else, forget about her too. Realises that she's aggressively hitting the button to the security system on her car repeatedly

Doesn't want Emily to forget her, hates the thought of her being with someone else.

The door swings open as if she expected it, isn't shocked when Emily doesn't look surprised like all the other times Naomi has popped up into her life, missing when Emily chased her, even if she didn't like it at the time. Emily hard face falls when she see's Naomi states, tears running down her face and cheeks flushed from crying.

'I want you okay? Is that what you wanted to hear?' she almost spits it at the redhead, aggressively wailing her arms about slightly as if it would help this situation.

'So look now I've told you what happens? Everything will end up just fucking perfect?' she spits again, Emily face now looking at her sadly, probably thinks Emily should be mad at her, turns up at her door again shouting the odds.

'Naomi, calm down' Emily reaches forward saying the words gently, she doesn't flinch away because she doesn't want Emily to touch her, she doesn't deserve it, shouldn't have Emily being nice and gentle with her again after what she's been doing to her these last couple of weeks. She crying fully now, Emily reaching forward to throw her into a hug, thinks how nice the contact feels, feels like the most friendliest thing she has ever done with the girl.

'When we first you know, I didn't think, I just didn't expect this' she sobs onto her shoulder as the redhead smoothes her hands down Naomi back, feels Emily slightly kiss the back of her neck, can't stop thinking about how nice this all feels.

'I didn't either' admits Emily.

There's a comfortable silence then, Naomi being comforted by clinging onto Emily's hug, still feels her hands roaming up and down her back slowly, feels better just knowing that Emily's here with her, remembers time when she's been comforted by Daniel but it was never like this, should be awkward but it's not, and then when she pulls back and see's Emily smiling at her so reassuring she almost believes that everything is going to turn out okay, light fingertips dance their way across her face, brushing the tears away with them. Her hand lingers too long on her cheek, bringing the blondes face towards her

And their kissing again.

It's not frantic and it's not rushed, definitely doesn't feel like running away after it this time. They push their lips together, breaking apart for short seconds and then launching back in with a new position. She feels Emily's tongue stroke hers for possibly the fourth time ever and comes undone. They never break the kiss whilst walking back into the apartment, feels like the last time Naomi was here but more calm, hears the door click behind her. Feels the coldness of the hallway wall hit her back and warmth from Emily's body in front, redheads suckling softly on her neck again, bending it back to feel it more, wants to have Emily ravish her.

'Oh god, what are we doing' she moans out quietly, running her own hands up Emily neck and pushing her harder until Emily's mouth is completely stuck to her neck, feels the tiny pinches when reality hits and she's pushing the girl away once again.

'You can't leave marks' smiles slightly embarrassed, Emily nodding her head dumbly, licking her own lips, eyes to Naomi's and then back down to the blondes lips before she's coming in again, another deep kiss. Shaking hands reaching up to unbutton Naomi's blouse, still in her work clothes as she watches Emily's nervous fingers slowly open it, brown eyes look up at her as if asking for her permission.

Thinks she's never seen Emily this nervous or shy. She likes it better than dominant Emily.

Then find themselves scantily clothed on Emily's bed, doesn't even remembers being guided there, only realises when the soft material of her sheets are hitting her naked back, her shirt thrown someone outside the room in the hall, blondes hands tugging Emily's t-shirt until it's off her and dissuaded lazily, leaving Emily straddling Naomi in her bra and pants. Emily looking down at her smiling, Naomi's heart nearly breaks when she still see's the nervously of Emily, probably thinks she's going to run away again.

She lifts her hands, stroking both of them up and down Emily's torso, if they weren't in such a promising position she probably would have been jealous of Emily's body, fact that she was so tiny yet so proportioned, Naomi thought she was beautiful. She kept running her hands along the soft skin mesmerized, Emily hadn't took her eyes off Naomi's movements, gasping when the blonde's hands reached the button of her jeans, popping it open.

'Naomi, you don't have to-'

'I want to' it was nice having Emily touch her, having Emily all over her body as she made her breath heavy, but now _she_ wanted to be the one touching Emily. Wanted to make her feel the way Emily makes her feel, wants her to know she isn't the only one that wants this too. Doesn't really know what she's doing, but then again she didn't know much last time. Didn't actually do anything to Emily last time, it was her who was touched; her who Emily fucked until she explosively came.

So when she's sliding down Emily's body she's nervous, Emily heavily breathing whilst her chin is resting on her own chest flat on her back, eyes never leaving Naomi as her lips kiss the redheads naked torso. It's when she's dragging the jeans down Emily's legs she realises what she's about to do, hooking her fingers through the black knickers and ripping them down her legs; she only freezes when she's face with Emily, now completely naked.

She'd seen her this way before, but it was rushed and she couldn't stop feeling terrible the whole time. But now it's soft, gentle and loving and Emily's looking down at her so shyly and she freezes, see's a flash of something through Emily face, probably thinks that Naomi's scared, she's not, and she's amazed.

'You know I could just...' redheads voice wavers when Naomi's hands are so close to where she needs it, doesn't end up finishing her sentence, gasps when Naomi's mouth comes into contact with her aching centre.

She doesn't know what she's doing, trying to remember when Emily's tongue did to her when she enters her with it, finding Emily's clit almost instantly that she's surprised; tongue only working harder when Emily's knee's buck up and her legs are spread even wider. Surprised by the taste, can't describe it but it's nothing like she'd imagine, smells addictive, only snaps out of her daze by Emily's hands grappling her hair, moaning deeply.

'Don't stop' it's breathing and she's whining, wonders why she's saying it because she doesn't plan to stop until she works Emily into a state, when she pulls back to tell her she doesn't plan to her head is immediately pulled back to Emily's wet clit

'Please' she hears her breath out again. Doesn't want Emily to completely come with her tongue, wants to tease her, and then fuck her hard until she comes.

Hears her groan in frustration when she pulls back again, smiling wickedly up at her as she looks down at the blonde in disbelief, see's Emily swallow hard when she wipes her juices from around her lips, subconsciously sucking on her bottom lip. Emily sits up then, smiling back at Naomi slightly before leaning forward, aiming for her lips but only she pulls back, not allowing Emily to get close to her

'Let me kiss you' same words used outside the pub, bigger effects this time.

Shakes her head at her, see's rejection run through Emily's eyes once again, strokes her hand down Emily's cheek.

'I want you so much' voice strong as she says it, strong arms wrapped around her shoulders pushing her down, Emily's lips are on hers again before she can deny her touch, her tongue swirling together with Emily's, hands touching every part of each other's body until her hand comes into contact with Emily's soaking cunt, both moaning at the same time. And that's when she gets the confidence to search Emily out, running her fingers down the smooth skin of Emily's most sensitive part and plunging two fingers straight in.

Emily mutters unspeakable words into her mouth, throwing herself on top of the blonde, grinding her body into the blonde's fingers, she's starts to kiss her shoulders harder than she should, doesn't matter to the redhead, she doesn't have to hide the marks that will be spread across her body from Naomi sucking down hard onto her skin.

'Harder, Please Naomi' so she bites her shoulder, probably draws blood, doesn't seem to matter when Emily is throwing her head back and crying out in release. Her breathing matching Emily's when her tiny body is collapsing on top of her, desperately kissing the blonde.

It's a view hours later when everything's calmed down, Naomi having one of the best orgasms in her life again and Emily overly complimenting her at every moment she could get; she found it cute, laughing when one of her compliments would get over cheesy.

'What are you doing tomorrow?' Their laying side by side, both facing each other with smug smiles across both of her faces, Emily's arm tracing lightly up and down Naomi's, she smiles at Emily's husky after sex voice, wonders how many other girls have heard it, hopes she's the only one who ever get's to hear it again.

She yawns rolling down onto her back, eyes on the ceiling, remembers what she's doing tomorrow, been in Emily's for at least 3 hours now, mum probably wonders where she is, probably thinks her and Daniel have made up and their having make-up sex, thinks of her son, playing innocently and probably not noticing the time she been gone, she smiles.

'The typical stuff, finding after school care for Connor' she laughs, her working hours changing, she won't be able to pick Connor up from school anymore, Gina offered but it was only supposed to be a temporary thing, doesn't want her mum to be the constant babysitter, thinks it would be good if Connor met more people than just the ones at school.

She snaps from the memory, Emily's confused eyes on her, sheets lifted around her breasts.

'I'll do it' hears her say, raises an eyebrow.

'You'll do what?'

'Take Connor after school' she starts, notices Naomi's about to protest already

'He loves the gym, couple of hours couldn't hurt?' she shrugs, resting back down onto her pillow, pushing her body into Naomi's, and resting her arm under the blondes head.

'I don't think that's a good idea' doesn't want to offend Emily; nice of her to offer but really doesn't think it would be clever of her.

'Come on, it's not like I'm going to tell him I'm fucking his mum' see's Emily smirk at her, cuddling tighter into Naomi, blonde sending her a fierce look, Emily shrugging again, leaning over and kissing up Naomi's neck through her words

'It'll make it easier for you' continue to kiss

'Connor will be somewhere he knows'

Reaches her ear now, lightly kissing the lobe, making Naomi gasp shakily

'Me and you can spend more time together'

Lets Emily continue her trail as she breaks off into thought again, didn't want Connor going somewhere that he wasn't comfortable with, didn't want him anywhere where she couldn't trust the person looking after him, she trusted Emily, obviously she trusted Emily or she wouldn't be wrapped up with her in a bed.

'Fine' feels Emily smile against her neck, pulling back with the same bright smile blazing across her face, probably feels like acceptance for Emily, Naomi trusts her, trusts her enough to look after the most precious thing to her in the world.

'You won't regret it' she hears Emily whisper, warm hands crawling over her ribs, drawing light circles over them which causes her to stifle a laugh, ticklish

'And you don't even have to pay me' Naomi starts to laugh, suppose that's another bonus. Feels Emily lean in more, smiles at it, feels more comfortable now with her than she's ever felt.

'Now Miss Campbell, are you staying the night?' and that's when she freezes, of course she wasn't going to get up, get redressed and thank Emily for the great fuck before leaving, just didn't expect she'd be staying the night. Doesn't want her to think that it was just sex again, doesn't know what the fuck is going on or what this thing her and Emily have but it's more than sex now, when she doesn't answer Emily starts to talk.

'I understand if you can't, you know there's Daniel and Connor' Emily says quietly.

'No, I, No I'm staying' says it before she's thinking, doesn't want to see that disappointment in Emily's eyes ever again, turning around to see Emily softly smiling at her.

'Can I use the bathroom?' feels like her voice isn't hers anymore, plotting things in her head without thinking.

'Right down the hall' Emily nods, releasing Naomi's body from hers and resting her head back down on the pillows, stretches with cute sounds that makes Naomi smile before reaching to the side table and slipping a ciggie between her lips.

Naomi's stands, wrapping the bed sheets around her torso, might of just seen each other naked but she's definitely not ready to be walking around naked yet, slips her mobile from the floor between the sheets whilst Emily's busy trying to get her lighter to work. She's about to walk out the room, watches Emily blow the smoke before winking at her

'Don't be too long' she laughs, Naomi returning it easily before she's slipping into the hall way.

She's pacing around the tiny bathroom jabbing the buttons into her phone, knows she's going to have to call, not a doubt in her mind that she has to, doesn't know what to say, finds herself staring at her reflection in the mirror before she finds the bottle to press the call button.

'Naomi love, take it things are back on track' greets her mother's cheerful voice, happy to hear she's cheerful but scrunches her face up at what her mother thinks she's doing.

'Hi mum, sorry I haven't phoned' she's talking quietly, doesn't want Emily knowing she's making a secret phone call in her bathroom, not that the redhead would probably mind that she was seeing if her son was alright.

'That's alright love, wouldn't want to disturb anything' she rolls her eyes.

'I'm at Effy's actually' lies through her teeth again.

'A couple of days don't change anything mum, Daniels still a prick' she replies blankly, hears her mum sign on the other end. Doesn't really know why her mum is so against everything she's doing, it's not like she ever really liked Daniel.

'Whatever you say dear, so what are you doing at Effy's?'

'Actually it's why I'm phoning, she's upset' again doesn't know where it's coming from, doesn't want her mum to get suspicious on why she's staying out

'Boyfriend broke up with her'

'Think I might stay the night to check she's okay'

Effys technically single, well unless you count the shag fest she's been having with Cook, doesn't think her mum will notice anyway, she's too caring to ask questions always has been.

'Okay love, make sure you look after her, always was a lovely girl that one' feels guilty again, she's lied again, to her own fucking mother who's absolutely lovely no doubt.

'Can you tell Connor I love him? More than anything' she adds quietly on the end, always feels the need to tell him now, even if her fuck up's blow up in her own face, she always loves him, the only thing that'll ever always matter in her life.

'He's away with the birdies, but I'm sure he already knows how much you love him' Coo's Gina, Naomi knew how proud her mum was of her, didn't really know why, there was a lot of things Gina could of looked down on her for, but she never did.

They end the phone call with love you's and goodnights. Thinks she should probably phone Effy in case her mum phones asking how she is and Effy wouldn't have a clue. Thinks she's been in the bathroom for a long time, maybe Emily thinks she's having second thoughts.

Stands around for a least 5 more minutes with Effy number on screen, doesn't know what she could say, how could she explain using Effy in the conversation, how could she tell Effy where she really was? Looks at herself in the mirror again, diverting her eyes to the light peeking through the crack in the door, didn't shut it over properly.

Turns out she doesn't have time to ring Effy, phone dropping from her hands and landing in the empty sink when she's hears the raises voices echoing down the hall, her blood drains cold, should run over to the door and close it over, should fucking hide, she can't move. So she stands, watching the door, waiting for someone to burst in, catch her. Hopes Emily can stop whoever it is from coming in. Shouting getting louder that she starts to hear it much clearer.

'Katie, what the fuck are you doing?'


	7. Making it feel right

**Sorry this took a little long, thanks for the reviews last chapter :)!**

**Chapter 7.**

She breathe a sigh of relief when she hears Katie's name instead of Cook or Effys, doesn't know why really because she doesn't even know Katie and just because their basically strangers doesn't mean she's any more comfortable with finding her half naked in a bathroom. Should be mad at Emily for promising they would be alone but she picked the surprise in her voice as well so she probably didn't expect her either. She still hasn't closed the door, feels like she can't move, still holding the sheet around her naked body with her trembling hands, only thing she's done in the last second is move more over to the corner, as if anybody coming in the bathroom wouldn't spot her straight away.

'What the fuck am I doing? Is that even a serious question Emily?' the volume of the voice travels down the hall, she almost can't help eavesdropping in on the conversation. Hasn't seen Katie but probably could tell the two girls apart from the voice, Katie's sounding like those girls who shout really loud in clubs, remembers not to judge before actually meeting her properly.

She doesn't hear Emily reply, but she can hear footsteps even though both of them are still in the hall, figures Katie's the one pacing up and down 'You don't show up for work today again and now your phones switched off' hears her shout, grips sheet around herself tighter from the utter anger of it.

'So? You can't just fucking burst into my home' she wonders if they left the door unlock by accident, too busy devouring each other to realise the silly mistake that they had made.

'I want my fucking key back' maybe not.

She can almost hear her own heart jumping in her chest when a shadow appears through the crack of the door, doesn't know what she's meant to do, technically to Katie Naomi is just another person who's sleeping with Emily, doesn't have a partner, doesn't have a son, starts to wonder if Katie knows as much about Emily's sex life than Cook did.

'The last time I saw you was like a week ago, I told you to phone me when you get home and you don't, then you don't answer my phone calls all fucking week, You could of been fucking dead!' when she listens to her voice again she knows what it is, she has a lisp, she's noticed that Emily has a small one too which she thought was cute, stop thinking about it when she thought she was getting too mushy though.

'Bit over dramatic, Wait, Where are you going?'

The footsteps are quicker now, almost wants to cry when she sees the ajar door filled with a body, notices the shirt Emily had one a couple of hours ago and the vibrant cherry hair, wants to sigh in relief that it wasn't Katie.

'Hmm I just spent time on dirty public transport to come here; I want to disinfectant my fucking hands'

She stares around the bathroom, bouncing up and down on her ankles as if there was an actual place she could hide, she looks at the shower, frosted windows, too typical. Even went as far as looking at the tiny window in the corner, she knew she was fucked.

The door creaked more as Emily's back was now leaning against it

'Where's your car?' didn't know if Emily was actually interested or if she wanted to buy time, either way she was thankful, gave her time to fix the white sheet that had been awkwardly caught under her feet, making it shift and reveal a little more than was appropriate.

'Broke down and now there's some shit about insurance that dad's doing for me' the door opens more than, thinks that maybe she should just get it over with, open the door, introduce herself and then leave, doesn't want Katie knowing about her, knowing about what she's doing.

'Use the kitchen' Emily says, see's her pale hand reach for the door handle, pushing it back against her.

'Kitchens are for cooking, why won't you move?'

'I, It's just, well, Cook he, he had a bad night last night, still haven't cleaned up yet' Emily offers weakly, giving a slight chuckle, hears Katie make a disapproving noise.

'He's an animal, don't know why you fucking live here' it's more distant this time, voice travelling from the other side of the flat, almost shriving in relief as she hears Katie walking away 'and this place looks like it hasn't been cleaned in years, Jesus can you even smell it?'

Since she's been in Emily flat she's been in approximate four places, the hall way, half fucking in Emily's living room, definitely fucking in the bedroom and now hyperventilating in the bathroom. Knew from first being in here it was a bachelor pad, place for when her and Cook bring girls home, knew it was a little untidy from her being a student, stops thinking when she hears the tap in the kitchen stop.

'Want to order in? I'm starved'

'Actually Katie, I was about to go to bed, maybe tomorrow yeah?' she feels guilty, maybe Emily wants to spend time with her sister, wonders if she would push her away so easy if she wanted to, feels even more guilty at the thought that Emily was just doing this for her.

'Have you even eaten today?' hears Emily groan in frustration, wonders why Katie is so protective over what Emily is doing.

'Stupid question, how could anybody eat in this fucking mess, seriously there's dishes piled up out there, and I'm sure cooks dirty boxers are on the kettle'

'Fucking hell Katie, stop being such a fucking mum' she spits harshly, suddenly she's interested, Emily never talks about her mother, not that Naomi has told her anything about her own, but Emily has talked about her dad.

'I'm just saying, if she could see this place now she'd be fucking livid'

'Well thank fuck she's not here then, so you can stop trying to fucking be her now' there's a strange silence then, and Naomi's waiting in anticipation, feels like there about to start fighting, wonders if this is always how they are around each other, Katie being over caring and Emily getting annoyed by it.

'Well that's the last time I'll be concerned, phone me when the real Emily makes an appearance again' she vaguely aware of the footsteps again, then the loud banging from the front door, slumps down against the wall in relief again, didn't get caught, but if she decides to do whatever they've been doing it's only a matter of time till it'll happen again.

Shuffles over to the bathroom door, listening and making sure Katie's gone before opening it with a small smile, only to drop when she see's Emily slumped against the hall wall, hands covering her face and deeply breathing. She hears sniffled sounds and wonders for a minute if Emily is actually crying, doesn't know whether to comfort and leave her with some space.

'Emily?'

She surprised when the redheads eyes snap up straight away, rubbing at her eyes but there are no tears, see's Emily eyes light up and mouth smile at her shyly when her eyes are raking over her body, feels slightly exposed with just a sheet wrapped around her, Emily sporting nothing but the long t-shirt. Then she's walking towards her, dragging the sheet until it's dropping to the floor and pushing her into the bathroom again, she's not even aware of the freezing glass of the shower her back is pushed up against since Emily's warm lips are already on hers, the blonde smiles, kissing her back with just as much passion as Emily's hands snap along the sides of her body, actually disappointed when Emily pulls back.

'I'm so sorry' she lifts her hands, playing with the blonde strands of hair in front of Naomi's face.

'I didn't know she was coming, she just burst in, I didn't expect it either'

She smiles, 'Emily its okay' she says slowly, finding nervous Emily adorable again.

'But it's not' Emily shakes her head, softly running her fingers across Naomi's cheek.

'I'm assuming you don't want anybody to know about us' Naomi bites her lip, nodding her head at Emily, still gets that knotting feeling in her stomach when Emily mentions them being an _us. _Technically she's already an _us_ with somebody else, somebody who doesn't care about her and thinks their son is just a business that he can reschedule.

'We'll just have to be more careful next time' she says it without thinking, doesn't know if there was going to be a next time but their obviously is now, already got Emily referring to them as an _us. _Thinks she's panicking about nothing. See's Emily eyes snap to hers, smiling at her again before she's pulling back and looking at the position they're in, Naomi pushed up against the shower with her legs wrapped around Emily, starts to laugh.

'Fancy a shower?' Emily purrs Naomi almost collapses at the thought of naked Emily being sprinkled by water, thankfully her body as other ways of thinking; she covers her mouth whilst yawning, and blushes slightly as Emily continues to smile at her.

'Maybe next time' the redhead says, feels as if she's bright red now, Emily referring the next time to what she's just said before, with one last kiss to the cheek Emily walking away, not before turning around and smirking at her

'Your phones in my sink by the way' if she wasn't so turned on she'd probably be laughing.

When they're in bed a couple of hours later it isn't about sex, she feels comforted for once, actually touching somebody whilst drifting off to sleep is something she hasn't done in a while. Can hear Emily's light snores whilst she rests her head on the redheads shoulder, she's pretty certain she's drifted off a couple of times but now she's awake again, keeps thinking someone's just going to walk through that door again, this time being wrapped up in bed together will be a little harder to explain.

'Where's Cook?' she'd been wondering it for a while now, doesn't know why she's said it out loud, she's surprised when she hears Emily groan, arms tightening around her torso and sleepy brown eyes opening to face her.

'He does this, disappears for days on ends, I swear one time he was gone for almost a week' hears Emily yawn, shutting her eyes again and gently breathing.

'Where does he go?' She doesn't really know cook, but she's curious, never was the type of disappear and live off her own back, would need her family and friends around her.

'Last thing he told me before he went was something about shagging a Spanish bird' she says it so calmly, with her eyes still closed, the blonde remembers the conversation she had about Cook, about Effy really liking him, Effy never really likes people, she dated Freddie for almost 3 years and never really liked him.

'But Effy?' she hears herself saying, realises that she's stupid to think he actually liked her too, doesn't want her mate to get led a long, feels sorry for her.

'I don't think their serious'

'Cook can be tamed for a while, but pretty soon he's back out their sleeping with the entire population of Bristol' she turns onto her side facing Emily, redhead moving her arms to allow Naomi's naked body to morph into her own.

She doesn't want to ask what's on her mind, but suddenly her throat feels dry and she's got nervous butterflies in her stomach, doesn't know if she could face the answer if it wasn't one she expected.

'and is that what you do?' see's Emily calm face stay the same, her eyes still closed as she hums for Naomi to elaborate on what she's saying.

'Because I'm guessing there are a lot of girls in the entire population of Bristol' she's done it again, sounding fucking jealous again and she hates it.

Sleepy eyes are opening again, Emily hand rubbing light shapes on her hip under the covers that she's almost forgot what she's just asked.

'I'm here with you aren't I?'

She thinks that answer will do maybe just for now anyway. They kiss after that, just kiss until they both fall asleep; the next morning is completely different to how she spent the last time here, she's woken up by Emily's limbs landing clumsily over her face, she's woken up even more by the time spread across the clock, fuck. She has to be up for work in a hour, but completely forget the fact that she would actually have to go home and get changed first, doesn't want to leave Emily, leave her to wake up in a cold bed and make her feel bad again, decides to shake her until a confused Emily wakes up.

'I have to go to work' she whispers, pulling on yesterdays work clothes that are scattered around the room and trying her best to make them look presentable in front of her mum in case she's up already, finishes running her hands through her hair whilst looking in the small mirrors in Emily's room. Turns around to see Emily sitting up in bed, yawning and wiping her eyes, thinks maybe this is probably too early for the redhead.

'Do you want breakfast?' the redhead mutters, Naomi smiles, walking over and sitting at the corner of the bed.

'No, you should go back to sleep' Emily smiles at her thankful, leaning over and pecking her lips before dropping back into the pillows, 'I'll call you later' the blonde says, smiling down at the redhead, collecting her phone and walking out the room just in time to catch Emily's

'You better'

She's driving home then it's only been a day but she can't wait to see Connor, can't help but notice how she's grown up with him. She used to hate the thought of having to always look after someone before she was pregnant, feels like she can't get enough of protecting him now. She's 10 minutes away from her mum's house when her phone starts to vibrate, never answers whilst she driving until she notices it's Effy and decides to pull over, feels guilty after hearing Cook with others girls, smiles when she answers with a cheerful hey.

'These things happen and there are plenty more fish in the sea' scrunches her eyebrows up, wonders if Effy's been drinking vodka for her breakfast, actually pulls the phone back and checks the ID twice to see if it's actually Effy.

'You alright?' she asks, laughing slightly.

'Those where just a couple of things your mum said to me on the phone last night' Effy sounds amused not angry, Naomi feels like an absolute twat. Remembers going to phone Effy then Katie fucking Fitch shows up and she completely forgets, doesn't know the girl but somehow she's putting all her blame onto Emily's twin.

'Where are you?' Effy asks, doesn't get a chance to speak, feels bad because Effy is her best friend, tells her everything apart from this, doesn't know how to tell her, if it's even a big enough thing to tell her yet.

'Driving home' she answers plainly.

'From...' Can almost hear Effy smiling on the other end, she sighs.

'Eff,'

'Fuck it, can you just come over? Your mum thinks you're here anyway and I'm fucking confused' she's happy that her mum still thinks she's with Effy, doesn't actually know what to say to Effy though.

'I have to go to work' knew that the feeble excuse wasn't going to make Effy stop asking her to come, wonders why she's even up that early anyway, usually if she isn't working she isn't up till at least afternoon.

She pulls up outside Effy's house, it's small but very Effy, thinks her and Connor would probably live there with her if it wasn't for Daniel. Managed to avoid the awkward questions on the phone and leave them till she actually arrived, thought about it over and over on the drive here, tell her she stayed with Daniel all night, didn't want to get her mum's hopes up so she lied.

She's at the front door, doesn't have to even press the bell because the doors opening in a flash, tired Effy standing behind it the next words out of her mouth making her cringe as Effy's eyes scan up and down her creased clothes.

'You smell of sex'

She pushes past her, always knew Effy wasn't one for beating around the bush, hears her laugh behind her as she carries on into the living room, taking a seat on the couch and waiting for the answers Effy's going to expect. Wants to tell her that this isn't fucking funny, that's she's scared of how things are happening so fast and she's scared of what's going to happen when everything comes out because nothing stays secret forever, broke out of her thoughts by Effy sitting in front of her smiling.

'So can we just cut to the chase and say that you had some amazing sex last night?'

Yes she did have amazing sex last night, but it wasn't just about sex, it was about everything else in between, it's also something she doesn't want to lose. She can't just think about herself, has to think about her son as well, what's the best for him, thinks that she's getting everything wrong again.

'I'm cheating'

Whichever way she saw it, not being in love anymore, him not paying attention to her or his son, him always working, it was still cheating. Sometimes she finds herself wishing she knew Emily whilst she was pregnant, realises she probably wouldn't of wanted nothing to do with her back then.

'Never thought you'd have the guts' her eyes snap up to witness a cool looking Effy light a cigarette, she's confused, thought her best friend would tell her how wrong it is, tell her that she should stop being a twat and go back to her fake perfect life for the sake of her son, but she doesn't even bat an eyelid. She blows the smoke out before squinting her eyes at the blonde

'And you were going to go home like that?'

She diverts her own eyes to her appearance, thinks that maybe she was in such of a rush that she actually underestimated how terrible she did look, her shirt terribly buttoned up, collar turned up and creased, thinks she probably has Emily's nail marks down her back also, not that it actually matters as she doesn't take her shirt off much.

'So have you officially left him?' as soon as she hears this, her eyes come off her crumpled clothes and straight up to Effy, wonders why her tone actually sounded hopeful, knows that Effy and Daniel don't get on but still no one hopes for this.

'No,' she thinks about for a second, going back to the way she's been living, can't stand it for much longer, changes her answer 'Yes..., I don't know' she sighs, throwing her head between her hands again, groaning in frustration.

'Are they the reason you left him?'

'no' she answers straight away, she didn't move out of her home for Emily, didn't leave him for Emily as well, did it for herself, didn't need any other excuse to want to leave him because her one was already good enough.

'It isn't serious; it's just makes me feel _something_ you know?' her voice is strained, looks up to see Effy sadly nodding her head at her, wipes at her dry eyes as if tears are actually there before she takes a deep breath

'But it's stupid, I should stop being a twat and go back to him' she goes to stand up, flies back down on the couch by a strong hand on her shoulder, disapproving face looking down at her.

'No you fucking don't, stop acting as if you need him, you don't fucking need him' Effy starts to pace in front of her, she did always tell Naomi to leave him before she even had Connor, didn't listen.

'So you're fucking someone else, stop beating yourself up about it, we all do it'

Her eyes brows shoot up at how non-chalet it is said, wants to laugh because she always knew Effy wasn't about morals and tradition, fucking hates Daniel for suspecting that he cheats on her best friend but couldn't give a shit that she's the one who's actually cheating.

'It's not like it's going to go anywhere' the blonde confirms trying to make herself feel better in this situation.

'Let's just say she isn't the commitment type' she scoffs, bitterly laughing at the sentence because Emily is anything but stable, the place she lives in is anything but stable, the amount of girls Emily's been with proves her point, thinks that she can't see a future with Emily at all. When she looks back up she sees the smoke leave Effy's frozen mouth but no movement, smirk plastered across her face and her eyes wide.

'It's a girl?'

The only thing that runs through her head is how much of a twat she is, terrified her for weeks and now it's coming out of her mouth faster than she can control it, she's kind of relieved that Effy doesn't look disgusted, still feels like she's just taking the piss with that smirk across her face, she nods her head slowly and Effy's face lights up, stumps her ciggie out and leans closer to Naomi

'Do I know them?'

She spends the next ten minutes refusing the answers any of the questions being thrown at her, wants to silently thank Effy for not asking why it's a girl, also for not questioning her sexuality at all, she continues to drink her warm tea as Effy tries to make sense of the situation, feels bad when she hears Effy sigh, repeating how she mustn't be that much of a good friend if she can't be trusted. So she does it, she tells her who it is, doesn't think about regretting because she doesn't have time before it's rolling out of her mouth.

'Emily, Emily? Cook's Emily?' she doesn't think she's ever seen Effy this surprised before.

'You went somewhere with Cook, she came onto me but I rejected her of course' she takes a deep breath, shaking. Watching as Effy nods her head as she continues with the rest of the story 'I went out for a smoke and she was just there, it just happened' she trails off with the rest of the story, going back to her house, the sex, treating her like a bitch the morning after, trying to ignore her.

'How did I not notice all this?'

She shrugs, only noticing that she's actually crying when the cold tear hit's her cheek

'And if Connor knew about this he'd probably hate me' knows he doesn't know the difference between all these things, being taken and single, man or woman, still feels like she's letting him down.

'and god I've put mum through enough, the amount of times we argued over her saying Daniel wasn't right for me, I should of fucking listened to her' feels Effy's slim arm slide around her shoulders, pushing her into a hug where she instantly feels comforted, she looks up rubbing her tear soaked eyes as Effy smoothes her hair.

'They can't find out Eff, they can't' her voice breaks, throwing her head onto Effy's shoulder.

'Well they won't, especially not from me anyway'

She didn't go to work that day, Effy's exact words being she's the manager so they can go and fuck themselves, she laughed, called in sick changing those words around a little. She felt better now that someone knew at least, yes it had only just started, whatever this thing her and Emily had but now it felt like something, as if Effy knowing had turned it into something bigger than it was before. They picked Connor up from school, smiling as he ran up to her and told her about the school day, painting, counting, reading books, he was smart already, his smile only grew when he noticed Effy in the car.

They were chatting casually, Connor strapped in the back seat making his own entertainment as they drove back to Gina's, asked Effy about Cook, sighed in relief when she told her it was casual, they were seeing other people, but she knew Effy better than anyone else, knew she didn't want him to see other people, but she knew that the brunette was going to act like she was fine with it, broke from the conversation by her phone vibrating on the dash.

She rolled her eyes, Daniel had been texting her all day, telling her about how when he gets back from London they are going to sort the mess out, could only laugh because him being in London was the fucking problem, him being away all the time was the fucking problem and their he was again, going away for so called business when he should be here sorting this mess out sooner than later, she blushed when she realises that it actually wasn't Daniel who text her.

"_You didn't call me :( "_

She smiles at how childish it is, diverts her eyes back to the road ahead of her when she catches Effy's smirk, questions her with a raised eyebrow but she just shrugs, deflating back onto the seat, she knows the brunettes about to say something, can feel her eyes boring into the side of her head.

'Well I like her, she was nice enough to me' see's Effy looking into the mirror, making sure Connor isn't listening into the conversation, thankfully he's still playing around with the books he brought home from school. 'Could of done worse' hears her mutter, throws her a cautious look.

Effy turns around to face Connor 'Who wants to go and see Uncle Freddie?' hears her son gasp and start clapping his hands together in excitement, never understood why Connor actually liked Freddie so much, all he ever did was sit around and watch tele, in actual fact she thought he was a boring fuck.

'Yes!' Connors shouts, books in his hands successfully falling to the floor.

'Well then, how about I take you and we meet mummy later?' she turns her head to Effy confused, where the hell was she meant to be going, starts her sentence just to be cut off by Effy.

'You told me how you hardly knew Emily right?' she nods her head confused, glad that she's whispering so Connor can't hear where this conversation is going.

'then go out together, get a drink or whatever and just fucking talk, not everything is about sex, and that's coming from me' she snorts because coming from Effy that sentence did sound strange, but she declines the offer, wants to be with her son, spend the day with him, doesn't get the chance to protest though.

'Connors fine, I'll take him back to mine later, you can even bring her'

Pulls her phone back out when they stop at a red light

"_Want to meet up for a drink?' _

Just hopes to god that Effy is right about everything.


	8. she's more lost than you

**Hey! so sorry that it's been a while since the last update but I'm back.**

**actually missed writing this, already know what the next chapters about so it shouldnt be long.**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing! It makes my day :)**

**Chapter 8**

They end up meeting in a quiet bar in central Bristol, she never heard of the place; decided to let Emily take her their when she suggested it. Thought it would have been noisy and full of aroused university students looking to have a good time, actually surprised when it's a calm atmosphere, dim lighting and quiet music playing in the background, she likes it a lot. Appreciates it when Emily greets her with a friendly hug and nothing too full on, she isn't ready for kissing or anything more intimate in public, doesn't know if she'll ever be ready for that.

She figures it should be awkward; a lot of silences and possibly sometimes talking about random things that don't really matter but it isn't anything like that. The conversation is flowing, their joking, laughing, doesn't even flinch when Emily reaches under the table and grasps her hand in hers. That's how they stay, Emily watching Naomi's lips move when she talks, stroking her thumb along her hand, Naomi likes it like this. It's when their through their second drink and Emily's rummaging through her bag for the vibrating phone that Naomi spots her, the seemingly raging blonde women sitting at the bar over Emily's shoulder, eyes narrowed at Naomi with hatred, drink spinning in her hand. Knows the women only came in ten minutes ago, remembers the bell on top of the door chiming as she came in, now it seems there's only her the red head and a couple of other people in the place.

'Naomi?' her eyes snap back to the redhead and her warm amused smile, and she's lost again, completely forgetting about the random woman eyeing her up and focusing all her attention back on to Emily.

'Sorry' she blushes, gesturing for Emily to carry on.

'Fucking Katie' she says, holding her phone out in front of the blonde, Katie's name flashing up across the screen. She feels a sense of relief after actually seeing who it was ringing

'Can I just take it outside? Won't be pretty' she laughs, Naomi finds herself laughing along too, from what Emily's told her she gets on with Katie, just sometimes they have the occasional argument. Naomi tells her its fine, both deciding to move on to a different bar when Emily comes back in.

She's vaguely aware that the blonde is still by the bar, feels a chill run through her body when the girl's eyes fiercely follow Emily as she walks past her, phone clutched to her ear. Bell chiming again as Emily leaves, girl's eyes snapping to Naomi's straight away, wants to ask what the fuck she's looking at thinks it's probably not a good idea with the amount of shots the girl keeps ordering from the bar.

She starts to feel self conscious then, Emily gone and no one to talk to, pulls her phone out of her purse so she has something to focus on, thinks about calling Effy until a hand is slammed down on the table in front of her, she freezes, looking up from her phone screen to see the blonde, swaying slightly whilst keeping her balance, the snarls still in place, only replaced by a fake smile seconds later, Naomi nervously looks round for Emily.

'Enjoying your night?' she's slurring, Naomi's eyes almost watering with the fumigating alcohol radiating from her.

'Sorry, do I know you?' it jolts through her mind for a second, she quickly looks around at the other people, hopes they actually aren't in a gay bar, doesn't see any other gay couples in site and then she freezes again. Not because the girl above her is now drunkenly laughing, but because she just referred to her and Emily as a gay couple, _a couple_. And it didn't actually feel that weird.

'You're here with Emily right?' she goes cold, heart beats faster, wonders why Emily just walked straight past her before if they knew each other, sharp stares, snarling looks from over the bar, thinks this girl might be one of Emily's others, she sighs.

'You know Emily?' Naomi asks, almost wanting to roll her eyes, thinks its ironic how their in this tiny deserted bar yet she still manages to bump into Emily's past. The girl scoffs, raises her eyebrow at Naomi before clearing her throat and suddenly going more serious.

'She dated my friend last year, made her fall completely in love and then bam, she just disappears' she shifts in her seat now, uncomfortable that the girl is spitting her words as if it's her fault, 'apparently she didn't do relationships, obviously that's changed' she narrows her eyes back down at Naomi again, she shakes her head.

'No, where not...' she starts, doesn't know how to explain, girl now starring at her contently as a drunk can get 'I mean, we're not together' she says quietly, hears the familiar chime, eyes leaving the table to meet Emily's smiling softly as she walks across to her, confused eyes staring at the other girl.

'Whatever, I'm just saying if you're not going to keep her interested, you won't keep her' and with a sharp smile she's walking away, bumping shoulders with Emily as she walks past and muttering a fake apology, she doesn't know what to think. She hears so much from Cook alone, she's done women, men, married women, and now a complete stranger. She decides to put it to one side when Emily is finally seated again, wants to actually judge Emily from what she knows and not other people.

'Who's that?' she asks, taking a sip of her pint and throwing a dirty look to the retreating figure who's just slammed into her, the blonde shrugs her shoulders,

'Don't know, she just wanted the time' she lies, doesn't want to have to tell Emily about it. Could have been a number of different reasons and accounts on that story, doesn't think she should talk to Emily about anything that she hasn't been willing to share herself. She accepts it, not questioning that she could have asked behind the bar, or looked up at the giant clock on the wall.

Watches her down the last of her pint, wipe her cute mouth with her sleeve.

'Want to go back to mine? We've got wine and stuff' feels Emily's hand slip back into hers under the table, she smiles, but shakes her head at the offer, she's drank too much, doesn't want to pick Connor up later drunk.

'I think I've had enough to drink' she says giggling slightly, see's Emily's lips tug up in a smile, unclasping her hand, moving across the blondes arm until it's resting on her thigh, Naomi's breath hitches.

'Who said we have to drink?' Emily's smile grew at the effect her moving hand was having on Naomi.

'Come on, I can promise no sister disturbances this time' even if she wanted to, which she did she couldn't, she was picking Connor up at 6 and there was no way she was going to turn up late, smudged lipstick and creased shirts again, she squeezes Emily's hand.

'I can't, I'm picking Connor up from Effy's at six' feels Emily's hand leave her leg as her eyes scan for the watch on her wrist, she smiles sadly at Naomi.

'Can we do this again?' she smiles, nodding her head at Emily gently, not knowing the nice moment wouldn't be lasting for long, without noticing Emily hand is slowly making its way up to her cheek across the table, it feels nice having her finger tips gently stroking her cheek, until the bell chimes again and she reaches up, batting Emily's hand away from her, startled look taking over the redhead.

'Sorry, I just...' looks up to see a clearly embarrassed Emily leaning back in her chair, staring at the laughing group of friends who have just walked past, granted their not laughing at them, the group not even noticing the girls as they walk past but she knows what Emily's thinking.

'Its fine' straight to the point, can almost see the disappointment on Emily's face.

It's when Naomi reaches her hand under the table to gently touch Emily's knee and it's her turn to flinch away that she knows it's anything but fine. She looks up; Emily rummages around in her bag again, probably using it as a way to ignore the blonde.

'Emily, I'm sorry'

'It's fine Naomi alright? I said it's fine' from the tone that was used and the way the elderly couple next to them are now looking over at Emily's raised voice she'd say it was again anything but fine. Swears she hears Emily say quite _fuck sake_ under her breath.

It goes silent then both of them remaining in their seats even though she knows she should be going. Emily isn't looking at her, head down messing around nervously with her hands but Naomi's staring right at her, thinks she should probably be the nervous one seeing Emily their like that, making Emily feel that way. She swallows wetting her dry throat before speaking.

'Do you want to come with me?'

Effy did say it would be fine to bring her back but she can't help but want to take the last 5 seconds back but she can't get what the slut said to her out of her head, keeping Emily interested is the only way to keep her, scares her slightly. Her thoughts stop when she sees's Emily's surprised eyes snap to hers.

'That would be okay?'

She doesn't know if it would be okay but she's already asked now, already filled Emily with hope that they are actually going out without Naomi freaking out on her for a change. She nods her head slowly with a tight smile.

'Effy said you could,' see's Emily eyebrows rise.

'Because I told her I was out with a _friend_' she finishes, isn't ready to let Emily know that somebody else knows about their relationship bar from them. So when Emily doesn't answer her, just keeps staring she doesn't know if she's hoping for a refusal or not.

'Yeah, I'll come' hears the redhead clear her throat.

'I'll pay so we can leave' Emily gestures over to the bar that been serving their drinks for the past hour, smiles politely as Emily leaves, watches her tiny body rest against the bar waiting for the bar tender to finish serving his customers.

Her mobile is out and Effy number is rang straight away, she has to be careful, watching out the corner of her eye for Emily to make her way back over, see's her chatting away cheerfully with the bar tender.

'Hello Lover, how's the date?' answers after three rings, rolls her eyes knowing Effy must be wearing one hell of a grin right now.

'Fuck you; _we're_ coming to pick Connor up' she purposely puts emphasis on we're. Hoping that her best mate will be able to pick it up, feels like she doesn't want to be the one starting the conversation on how Emily is coming with her even though it's her job to.

'Right okay but we're on Brandon hill because Freddie wasn't in, probably fucking wanking to internet porn again and' Effy stops mid sentence, Naomi's eyes briefly drift up to the bar, see's Emily casually hand her cash over.

'We're?' she knows for certain now that Effy is definitely smirking.

'I know okay, it's fucking stupid, I should make an excuse'

'No, bring her' it's that second that Emily turns around as if she knew Effy had said that, there eyes meet and she sends a guilty smile, only to receive a eye roll off Emily towards the slow bartender, she giggles, giggles like a fucking school girl until she realises she's actually still on the phone to Effy.

There walking through the streets ten minutes later, she doesn't know if Emily has gotten over the hands flinching away innocent or not, doesn't want to mention it and ruin this quick walk there on. Thinks that maybe she should be worried that neither of them has talked in 10 minutes.

When they arrive at the park she's surprised to see Connor excitedly run up to Emily straight away that she doesn't even have time to great Effy, they barely exchange hello's before Connors begging her to walk around the pond with him, Naomi smiles nodding her head as Emily takes his hand to lead him down

She's sat on the damp bench with Effy, smoking again. Doesn't know if Effy speaking but she's not listening, too busy watching Emily play around with Connor in the distance. He's laughing as Emily talks to him and walks him carefully around the small pond; she can't help the smile creep up onto her lips.

'Is she a good fuck?' the smoke in her mouth chokes her, turning her eyes to Effy an disbelieving look as she coughs the rest of the smoke up.

'What? I'm intrigued' see's her flash an innocent smile before wiping at her mouth.

'I'm not answering that' she smirks, purposely not looking at Effy but keeping her sight on Emily. She could answer and tell her how completely amazing she is, how Emily makes her feel more than Daniel has in 5 years from just one touch.

'You know people only usually say that when it's shit' her eyes snap to Effy's, knows she's teasing her but the way her eyes are dancing with amusement; she can't help the loud scoff that escapes her mouth.

'And besides, from the amount of stuff Cooks told me, she must be good' she scrunches her face up whilst elbowing the brunette in the side. She hates thinking about the fact that Effy probably knows more about Emily from Cook than she does. Thinks she should probably tell Emily to stop discussing her sex life with him in the first place.

The brunette stretches then pulling out her phone and wickedly smiling at it 'Anyway I better go, got something to be _doing' _Naomi automatically thinks of her and Cook having some horrible wild sex in his apartment, she shakes her head in disgust before her eyes widen.

'Wait, you're going to leave me here?' her voice comes out tight, see's Effy look at her confused before nodding her head slowly 'I mean with Emily' she says quietly, hears Effy laugh.

'It's not like you haven't been a lone with her before'

'But Connor' she states, watches Effy sit back down next to her, hand landing comfortably on her shoulder.

'You'll be fine, he loves her' and that's what she's afraid of right there. Connor becoming attached to someone she doesn't know will be around for that long anyway. She can't help but feel like she's punishing him in a weird kind of way, letting him get comfortable around people just to rip those away seconds later. With all this thinking she didn't realise Emily making their way over to them, Connor tucked under one arm as he continued to giggle away, Connor never usually liked being picked up, remembers times where people would hold him and he would kick until they put him down.

'Time to go?' Emily asks, eyeing up Effy as she stands up zipping her coat up the length of her body, putting Connor down until he's jumping up into the blondes lap.

'Nope just me' she shrugs, smiling at Emily before turning around and throwing a sly wink the blonde's way 'see you around Emily' she gets a small smile from the redheads lips before she's walking away and there left alone. It was okay in the gym, she could handle it with the screaming kids and low background music. But all she can hear now is wind and the occasional car. Emily also looking down at her expectant, she doesn't know what to do, until Emily takes a seat beside her.

She tugs a ciggie between her lips, stopping the lighter cm in front of it before asking Naomi if it's alright to smoke around Connor, repositioning him on the other side of the bench she nods her head allowing Emily to light up and take a drag before exhaling in the distance.

'My mum nearly burst once when I came home from school smelling of smoke' she wasn't expecting Emily to talk, she leans back, turning her head to listen to Emily, intrigued that she's actually talking about her mum in the first place. See's Emily's lip curve up at the memory

'Well I suppose I only was 10'

She turns her head when the blonde starts to laugh. Laughs more when the redhead goes on to tell her she was forced to try by Katie who thought it would be cool.

'My mum probably would have bought me more ciggies, she's like that' the blonde says, letting Connor free from the bench to run around in front of them. 'She wanted to do whatever made me happy' she loves her mum, even if sometimes she was a crazy fuck.

'That's nice, are you going to use that advice?' she freezes momentary, wonders if Emily means what she's thinking, do whatever makes her happy. Emily makes her happy, Daniel doesn't make her happy. 'You know with Connor when he's older?'

She lets out a breath of air, smiles slightly when looking over at her son 'well I would be mad if he smoked at 10' nudges Emily playfully in the side when she hears her scoff

'But obviously whatever makes him happy is what's important'

'How about the important stuff?'

She turns to Emily waiting for her to elaborate.

'You know, taking drugs, girlfriend pregnant' see's the redhead shuffle in her seat, barely hears the mumbled last words as Emily changes her eyes contact to the distance 'being gay'

The way Emily isn't looking at her makes her think about what Emily's past was like. Did people always accept her? Was she bullied? Knows that it can't of been easy growing up with all the confused feeling mixed around. When the thought of having a gay child doesn't make her worried the least bit she knows her answer.

'I don't care, either way I love him too much for any of that to even make my feeling for him any less'

Her heart fastens when she turns around to see Emily's brown eyes filled of emotion staring right back at her, she doesn't know what to do or say until Emily breaks the silence.

'You're a brilliant mum you know?' she blushes at the words. Knows she wasn't the worth but brilliant is probably a far stretch to where she is right now. 'He's lucky to have you' she can't help it then, she has to fight with herself not to lean forward and kiss her, grab her hair through her fingers, scrape her fingers down her clothed back. She clears her throat, moving over, away from Emily on the bench.

'It's getting cold, maybe we should make a move' she says, looking over to Connor, knows Emily's disappointed from the way she silently nods her head, pushing her jacket tighter around her body shouting Connor over until he excitedly grabs at the redheads hand, tugging it.

'Is Emily coming to nannies?'

She looks down to her sons pleading eyes, right up the arm of Emily's he's pulling to her brown ones, looking at her as if ready to answer the question. She can't meet Gina. Her mum isn't like anybody else; she'll know straight away that something's going on.

'Maybe some other time' she says to him.

'Please...' his tugging just gets harder, probably making Emily a tad uncomfortable but she isn't showing it, keeps watching mother and son interact until they come up with a answer.

'Not today'

'Just for a bit' he moans, pulling a sad face, she sighs.

'Connor...'

'Actually I better go anyway, don't want Cook to think I've gone missing' she laughs. Fake laugh, she can tell straight away that it's not her genuine laugh. Connors shoulders slump, walking over to the bench and sitting down on it quietly, leaving the two adults facing each other.

'I'll text you tonight' the blonde says, eyes not meeting Emily's

'You don't have to' its plain, see's Emily shrug.

'Em...'

'See you soon Connor' the redhead waves at the small boy, walking past Naomi and sending her a sad smile before she walks past the gates and out of sight, she sighs, wondering how she managed to fuck it up again.

When she went home that night to put Connor to bed her mum spotted her mood instantly, not only did she leave Emily feeling shitty again but she also received another half assed text from Daniel wanting to meet him when he's back. She ignored it, pressing the red button until she returned to the home screen and composed a new message to Emily.

'**I'm sorry xx' **

She waited on the kitchen table with her head in her hands, light flickering through the blinds from the outside lamp, nearly shot out of her seat when her phone vibrated.

'**I understand.'** No kisses, always knew there was something up when somebody ended there text with a full stop. But she didn't understand really, how could she when she didn't really even understand it herself. She starred at the message for a couple of minutes before dialling Emily's number and listening to it as it continued to ring, ending the call and trying again only to be met by the voice telling her that the phone had been switched off, she felt her throat dry, Emily was ignoring her.

She was cheerful the next morning, has to be cheerful because he may be 4 but he can pick up on her moods. So Emily hadn't text her like she normally does of a morning, so she hadn't tried to ring her back when she must of saw Naomi's missed calls on her phone. She didn't care, so she smiled, fed her son breakfast and let Gina walk him to school before she headed to work.

She hated her co-worker at work, not every single one of them but most of them had a tendency to make her want to punch them, especially the assistant manager mark, he was smug, smiley and also gay. Not that she cared that he was gay, but he was a bitchy gay that didn't sit too well with her at all.

'So you're 30? So how can you request a junior account?' she scribbled down the clients information, onto the note pad on her desk, she hated being the manager, she hated when they had one of those clients that wouldn't back down until they could speak with the manager, she just fucking hated her job in general. It wasn't her idea, no guesses to who actually got her into this field because it was good money.

'I'm sorry, but junior accounts are for under 18 year olds' this particular client wouldn't back down, didn't understand the fucking rules, the rules in which you live your fucking life. Things that say junior are not for adults, don't cross the road when a car is coming, don't switch your phone off when somebody wants to talk. That one she just couldn't let go, it's all she thought about all day, hates being ignored.

'You know what sir? Go fuck yourself' she slammed the phone down, scrunching her eyes together at how totally unprofessional that was, probably going to make a complaint to the companies owners, raises her eyes to see mark smirking from the door, bunch of folders in his hand.

'Want to be careful babe, wouldn't want to get demoted would you?' He smirks, reaching over and throwing the folder of accounts onto her table before prancing out the office, fucking prick. To make matters worse the room was so hot she felt like she was going to explode, her phone starts to vibrate.

'What?' it's harsh but she doesn't care at the moment.

'Whoa sorry for phoning' Effy

'Sorry, look I'm busy, what is it?' she sighed, rubbing her temple with her free hand and looking over to the mountain of folders that was beginning to form onto her desk.

'I need help, but I'll just sort it out' she sighed again, totally different reason this time, here she was again being a bitch for nothing to her best friend, she moved the screen to her laptop so the folders where out of view.

'Sorry Effy, seriously though what can I help you with?' she leaned back in her chair getting more comfortable.

'It's not me, it's Emily I think she's taken something and now she won't shut up and-' she didn't hear the last of her sentence, sitting up straight in her chair she held the phone tighter to her ear.

'What?' she felt her body go cold

'It's fucking 2 in the afternoon, take her the fuck home' she looked over to her office door, didn't want any twat in the place listening to her private life, strolled over to close it over and pace around her office.

'Naoms were all a bit fucked to be honest, she won't listen to me'

'Why did you phone me Eff?' feels like she has enough on her plate than to be worrying about an adult who's off her face somewhere. Can't help but worry, doesn't care about the office work anymore.

'I don't know it's just, well Cook doesn't know that you're you know... and there are girls around...'

'Where are you?' hears girls, thinks about girls, Emily with other girls, Emily with someone that isn't her, snaps.

'White hart pub' she fishes in her office draws, finds her car, keys before throwing her jacket carelessly around her body.

'I'm on my way, try and keep her awake with her mouth shut please' she ends the call, throws her laptop under her arm before making her way down the office hallway, smirks she walks past marks little desk throwing him the office keys.

'Emergency, you're in charge today' he smiles retrieving the keys, she smiles even bigger, leaning closer to his ear 'and that means you can handle all the accounts, on my desk by tomorrow morning please' his face drops, she leaves with her one minute of happiness.

She doesn't know why she does it but she's driving there already anyway, wants to stop and phone Effy, tell her to deal with this herself because this definitely isn't her problem but she can't. Can't stop her from pulling up outside the pub, can't stop her from taking a deep breath before going inside.

She spots her straight away which isn't surprising at all since the only people who go the pub at this time are old men who have nothing better to do in life but drink, although right now Emily is giving them a run for their money being slumped over the bar, slutty girl in toe.

'Thank god your here, been out all night, fucking missed work' she turns her head to see Effy, looking slightly worse for wear in her ripped tights, black dress combo, hair everywhere and eyeliner down her face, she sighs.

'Where's Cook?' she asks not moving her eyes away from Emily, she can see the girl touch Emily's hair, gives her a slight piece of hope when Emily doesn't touch the girl back.

'He's around, can you take her home?' she nods, watching Effy go to collect her bag from the back tables of the pub before walking over to Emily, the girl spots her first, running her eyes over the blondes body as if she's the one barely wearing any clothes in this situation.

'Come on Emily, you're going home' she see's Emily sit up in surprise, just to slump back down against the bar and burst out in a fit of giggles, she rolls her eyes, see's the amusement in the sluts in front of her.

'Oh god, this is Naomi, my...' she sees the confusion in Emily's eyes 'well it's just Naomi really' she bursts out laughing again. She raises her voice a little louder and slightly more baby like to get the redhead's attention.

'Come on' Emily struggles to get up, only made harder when the other girl pushes on her shoulders till she slumping back down.

'Excuse me, we were like talking yeah?' she hates her already, hates her greasy blonde hair, hates her fake tan, hates her deep Bristol accents, rolls her eyes.

'You're like what, 14?' personally likes the come back when she sees the other girls eyes run insecurely over her own body before coming back up and smirking.

'17 actually slut, are you're like 40?'

'She's 23!' Emily interrupts, waving her arms around before dissolving in giggles again

'Underage, wonder what they think about that' she nods over to the bar; see's the girl visibly tense up before throwing the blonde a snarl.

'See you around gorgeous' she says to Emily, leaving Naomi to cringe as Emily barely even notices she's being talked to, she's called a bitch as the greasy blondes walks away to the other end of the bar.

She grabs Emily's shoulders helping her to get up, only to be rejected by Emily's hand slapping away her own. 'Be careful Naomi, might actually mean something if you touch me' she slurs, and then Naomi's got it. Hopes Emily isn't in this way because of them, before of all the small things that happened yesterday.

She manages to get her to the car eventually, helping her walk through the pub, bumping into Cook as his loud drunk laughter flew through the pub as Emily's ability to walk, felt like she was with Connor when she actually had to strap Emily into her own fucking seatbelt. It's half way through the drive when Emily's done with laughing and looks at Naomi contently.

'Are you taking me back to my place to have sex?' she slurs, Naomi doesn't answer, just scoffs and shakes her head as they stop by the lights. 'because maybe we should have sex in your place for once, obviously while the perfect husband is out, or whatever he could join in, I wouldn't mind, it's not like my feelings actually fucking matter' she always thought that the saying a person's drunken words are their sober thoughts but maybe it's right.

She's about to say something when Emily starts to play with the radio, changing the station, higher and lowering, she stops, leaning back in her seat before stretching and looking at Naomi once again.

'Is this his car? Are we actually in his car? Oh this is bad' she starts to laugh again.

'It's my car' she confirms flatly not taking her eyes off the road as she enters Emily's street. When she stops the car she reaches over to unbuckle Emily's seat belt, feels her warm hand come around her, places it against the redheads stomach, she looks up to meet lustful brown eyes.

'You know, we haven't had sex in your car yet' she feels the redheads hand creep under her white blouse and she pulls back, unbuckling the belt and opening the doors.

'You're drunk; you need to go to bed'

Emily scoffs rolling her eyes, basically falling out of the car, the fact that she can barely walk means she had to help her up to the flat.

'I'm not drunk, I'm fucking high, so I took a couple of pills, sue me!' thinks there isn't a reason that Emily needs to be shouting that loud, sure that Emily doesn't even know she's doing it in the first place.

When there in the flat it's pretty simple, Emily seems to ignore her existents until she collapses onto her bed to snuggle into the cushions, the blonde goes the kitchen, routes through the piles of dishes for a clean class before filling it with water, taking it back until the room to notice Emily lightly snoring against the pillows. She sighs, walking out the room.

'Where are you going?' she stops turns around to see Emily staring at her wide eyed, doesn't know if it's the drugs or just the emotion that's got Emily looking at her like that.

'I left work to come and get you; they're going to want me to go back'

'Yeah, of course bye' see's the redhead turn over in the bed away from her, wrap her small body up into a protective ball, she's about to leave before she sees her body start to vibrate, muffled breathing coming from the redhead.

'Emily?'

'Just piss off Naomi, fuck sake, get out!' she's coming down, from whatever drug, Naomi knows. Tried all sorts when she was a teen, knows coming down is a bitch for anyone who isn't actually high, just around the fucking person.

'Everything's so shit, why are you even here? What are you doing?' hears the cry's get louder, body start to shake more, feels terrible, responsible for this.

'I live in this shit hole, my mum's dead, you don't even fucking like me, why's everything so fucking bad'

The cry's die down, Naomi feels like her legs have just gave a way as she stares at Emily still deeply breathing onto the pillow but not crying anymore, she walks over slowly, sits down onto the bed until it's deep slightly, moves some of the beautiful red hair from the girls face.

'Em, what did you just say?' leans over to see the smaller girls eyes closed.

'I said you don't even like me, because it's true isn't it?' she shakes her head, running a soothing hand down her back, it's not true but it's not what she wants to talk about.

'No' she clears her throat 'I meant the bit about your mum'

'I said she's dead, why's everyone always talking about it? _Oh Emily your mum would be so proud _just leave me the fuck alone, it's hurts okay, why do they always talk about it?' she still rambling from the mixture of alcohol and drugs, knows she's not going to get any sense out of her in this situation.

'Okay, Okay' Naomi whispers, softly rubbing her back.

'I'm so tired Naomi, I think I just need a rest'

She watches Emily drift off into a quiet slumber and suddenly everything makes sense, the only thing left in Naomi's head, _fuck._

**Soz Jenna.**


	9. You keep me so off balanced

**Hey! Sorry that I've been really unreliable with updates recently. I just got kind of stuck on this chapter but now that it's done I know what's going on next.**

**Hope everybody had a great christmas! and hopefully a good new year!**

**Thanks for reading, reviewing/favouriting ;)**

**P.S. there was a story on here 'wishful thinking' basically about Naomi being an english teacher and Emily her student, anybody know what happened to that story? it was amazing!**

She stays in an uncomfortable position in the corner of the room as she watches Emily sleep. Stretching out her limbs on the old chair and folding the jacket Emily wrestled off before falling asleep to make a pillow behind her. Emily might be a sleep now but she's still in shock staring at the same four walls for the past 5 hours. Emily's mum's dead and she only just found out now. She's known Emily over 2 months now and she only found out because Emily happened to be high at the time and it makes her feel guilty.

She only notices that she's crying herself when her eyes start to sting and the tears are rolling off her face. She wants to wake Emily up; she needs to find out about everything, even if the prospect of waking the snoring girl who's hugging her pillow making her feel blank.

She doesn't wake her though, doesn't want her to go back into hysterics like a couple of hours ago. She can't handle seeing someone as strong as Emily breakdown so she shuffles deeper into the chair and waits, she promised the girl she wouldn't leave and she at least owes her that. She shuts her eyes, breathing in and out until she falls asleep in the warmth of Emily's room. When she wakes up later it's to the noise of the sheets ruffling, Emily's half naked body spread out across the bed groaning whilst holding her head between her hands.

She only notices Naomi in the chair when the jacket falls from behind her head hitting the floor with a loud thud. Wide brown eyes are immediately on hers, rest of the duvet falling off her body as she sits up revealing her toned torso and small pair of knickers, she can't help but blush even in the situation.

'Bet you like that don't you' her eyes snap up, Emily dilated pupils twinkling at her, mouth pulled up into a devilish smirk, she sighs quickly diverting her eyes from the ways Emily rubs her small hands over her torso purposely not covering up.

'You're still high' she says quietly, wondering how many drugs Emily had taken whilst busying her hands with the ripped blanket underneath her, starts to breath heavier when she looks up to catch Emily from slipping under her covers and straight towards her. Lowering herself onto the blondes lap as she continues to flick her eyes anywhere else but Emily's half naked body upon her.

'Do I have to be high to think you find me sexy?' she purrs, graces her lips over the blondes neck, she thought the drugs would of worn out by now, guesses she's wrong by the Emily continues to giggle whilst lightly sucking her neck.

'Look at you. Coming to save me today' she snakes her arms around Emily's back, for the only reason to keep her on her lap and stop her falling to the floor, she can still smell the bitter taste of alcohol on the redheads breath

'I think you might like me' the redhead pulls back from the frozen blonde, smiling down at her whilst smoothing her hand across her cheek.

'I think you might like me a lot' she finishes, eyeing Naomi suspiciously, pulling back again to scan her eyes over the women's body before her high smirk is back in place, Naomi remaining speechless for the full scene.

'God you turn me on in work clothes' she comments, unbuttoning the top button of blouse before she repositioning herself so that Naomi's knee is grinding against Emily's centre, sighing as she reaches forward to kiss the blonde.

'Emily, I think we need to talk' and that's when the redhead stops abruptly, as if someone as just through a bucket of cold water right over her, suddenly appearing to be sobering up right in front of Naomi's eyes.

'You said some things before' Naomi struggles, feel Emily pull away from her hold.

'My throats dry, is yours? Fuck I need to get some water' she's leaping off her lap, throwing on a large shirt and leaving the room before Naomi even has a time to interject. She doesn't follow figures that the girl is going to have to come back sometime and she's still recovering from over flirtatious Emily that has just skipped out the room.

She's back in the room minutes later, glass of water in hand as she takes small sips on it, purposely avoiding Naomi's eye contact as she walks to the window, her silhouette against the fading sun reflecting from the window. Looks at her watch to see that work would of finished half hours ago, looks up to see Emily narrowing her eyes straight at her, dry mascara stains showering her face.

'You can go if you want' her voice is small; not moving her eyes from Naomi's as if she's almost challenging her. But the blonde shakes her head slowly, she's not leaving. She's not going anywhere until Emily tells her what's going on, tells her anything really.

'Why didn't you tell me?' she says, sitting up in the chair, rearranging her fondled blouse as Emily turns away facing the window again. See's her body tense up at the question.

'Because that's not what we do' she hears her say, raises a eyebrow, stands to walk over to the tiny girl who's now wrapped her arms around her body as if to protect herself.

'We have sex, no time to talk' Naomi's heart breaks, begins to shake her head vigorously even thought Emily still isn't facing her so there isn't actually any point. They talk, they always talk. Sure it started with her not wanting to get to know Emily but surely now Emily knows it's more than that to her.

'And at first that's what I wanted but it's changed Naomi, I want you. I want everything' she turns around, reaches forward to take the blondes hand in hers. She feels a sharp chill go down her spine, feels like she has to interrupt before Emily goes too far, maybe says some things that she can't answer for. Maybe she'll say some things that Naomi can't help but leave her feeling disappointed with her own answer.

'But your mum, she's'

'Dead' Emily finishes casually, shrugging her shoulders sadly and Naomi can see it. See that look behind Emily's tough exterior, the one that shows that she really wants to break down crying.

'You let me talk about her, ask questions about her. Why didn't you just tell me?'

'Because why should you care? You didn't fucking know her' she jumps, taking a couple of steps back from the suddenly raging Emily, doesn't know what to say, see that Emily's even shocked at her own tone herself. The blondes angry too, angry that she couldn't just fucking tell her and avoid the awkward questions the blonde had to ask, angry that Emily's taking it out on her.

'Because she's your fucking mum and your my' she doesn't get to finish her sentence, loud ring tone shouting out from where her phoned place on the floor, just a load of silence breaking through the lethal stare out that Emily and her are currently going through, this is until she decides to break it to bend down and pick the phone up, Comes up in time to catch the glimmer of Emily clumsily leaving the room.

'What?' almost crushing the phone in her hands, notes to self that she should probably stop answering her phone like that.

'Just checking you're still alive dear since you're an hour late home' she cringes at her mother's bitterly sweet voice coming through the phone, forgot that it's much later than the time that she usually arrives home but can't help focusing on the act that Emily's walked out.

'Sorry I should have phoned I got stuck sorting accounts again' she lies again because recently that's what her life has become, Lies after lies to her loved ones, even if sometimes it doesn't make her feel guilty at all.

'That fucking bank, I swear they overwork you' she laughs faintly.

'Is Connor okay?'

'Yeah he's fine love, plonked out in front of the TV like every other child this time'

'Good, well I should be home in about half an hour' they wrap up the phone call, takes a deep breath before gripping the phone in her hand again walking slowly towards to bedroom door. She feels like she doesn't know what she's going to find when she leaves.

She gasps walking into the living room, sprawled out across the dirty sofa in front of her is Emily's snoring body, hands peacefully laying under her face, legs spooning behind each other, as cheesy as it sounds she thought the redhead couldn't look more like an angel than at that exact point. She knows from her teenager's years how much sleep was needed after getting high, definitely after how fucked up Emily was, wipes at her eyes to reduce her own slumber before quickly tip toeing over to the redhead.

'Em, I have to go now' she whispers, doesn't even know if Emily is a bit conscious to hear it, just didn't want to leave her alone without saying goodbye again. She bends down to Emily's level, lightly strokes her cheek until her nose is twitching and tired dilated eyes are opened slowly.

'I know you do' she says quietly, tries to ignore the shiver run down her spine when Emily's tiny hand slowly reaches up to cover hers. Her eyes close again after a second, hand losing grip on top of her own as the light snores come back, knows Emily's trying to struggle, battling to keep her eyes open.

Drags an old crème blanket off the top of the couch, can't help but think about how out of place it looks in the dull apartment, smell of lemon radiating off it. Thinks it's probably Emily's blanket because Cook probably couldn't own something as beautiful as it, Brown eyes shooting open again with a small smile as she places it over Emily, tucking in the sides like she does with Connor.

'He doesn't deserve you'

'Shh' she says soothingly, caressing her pale arm one last time and getting to her feet, towers over the girl about to dose off before she turns around, collects her phone off the table and heads for the door.

'I think I love you more than him, both of you'

And just like that Emily Fitch manages to make the blondes breathe hitch one last time. Prepares herself to turn around to a guilt ridden Emily, probably didn't mean it, probably too high to even think about what she's saying, so she turns around, wants to tell Emily it's okay, knows she's too out of it to even think.

Instead get's face with now definitely a sleep Emily, again hugging a cushion.

She shouldn't drive she decides on the way home, shouldn't drive when she feels like this anyway. Sure she's run 2 stop sighs and a couple of red lights with the amount of shit that's running through her brain and she actually wants to get home alive, has to pull up a few streets away from her mum's house before she actually ends up killing herself.

It had to be a mistake. Why would any sane sexy 21 year old lesbian be in love with a failing 24 year old with a small child? It made sense that Emily took to Connor well, can't help falling in love with the charming 4 year old. Sometimes she wishes she had some of the charm that her son clearly inherited from somebody that wasn't her.

She liked Emily, liked her more than she probably should but she didn't know about love, didn't know how love felt anymore, and doesn't know how it's going to feel if she's never truly been in love before. Daniel brought excitement, lots of money, different cars every week, something Naomi as a teenager regularly laughed at. Felt nice to have a man wanting her for once instead of spotty little boys.

Sure she was in to the occasional women too, small smile breaking out on her face when she remembers the embarrassing small crush she had on her sixth form English teacher. Miss Roberts. Remembers how often the teacher would talk about her club owner boyfriend and the apartment complex they owned in Manchester, how jealous she used to get when the green eyes of the gorgeous tan women would light up when she talked about it. How her heart would pound when she would talk about books, how much she loved them, her favourite kind of poetry. Actually glad that Miss Roberts took a transfer to Manchester in case the blonde got drunk at prom and stupidity admitted her feeling.

She imagined it, snow spread across the outside balcony, view of one of her favourite city's from their bedroom window, children running into the room meaning they would have to cover the 'just about to have sex' look up. Brother or sister for Connor to play with, to protect. Waking up with that person who truly makes you feel a live every day. Starts the car she's been parked up in for the last 10 minutes and speeds down the road when she realises she's waking up to Emily nowadays.

She doesn't speak to Emily for 4 days after that, which isn't really surprising actually since they go through that stage all the time. Going through an awkward moment together and then Emily stops answering her phone or Naomi does her hardest to ignore the redhead. Can't help but thinking that 4 days is the longest she's gone without talking to Emily in a while and it's bothering her.

She needed someone to talk to after the midweek meet up with Daniel, basically consisting of him begging her to come home, her telling him she'll think about it and then him jetting off to work again. Gives up on contacting Emily after the 10th call of the week goes unanswered, tries to forget it once more.

'There too hard to mash yet' sometimes she missed living with her mum, especially coming home pissed as a teenager when her mum would nurse her back till she was sober. One thing she didn't miss was preparing meals with her mother; Naomi also thought she was the female Jamie fucking Oliver, prancing around the kitchen in her apron, correcting her when she didn't need to be corrected.

'I think I know how to make mash potatoes mum' sarcasm rolling off her tongue, watching as Gina raises her hands, shrugs her shoulders as she walks past to do the rest of the meal. She loved Sunday because it truly was a day of relaxing, a day where she would walk around the house in her giant hoodies and ugg boots, curl up on the couch and watch morning cartoons with Connor.

'It's Connors birthday soon' she hears her mum chime, stopping for a second before she continues to hum a catchy tune under her breath, tea towel in one hand as she retrieves food from the oven.

'Yeah, 5 years old and I'm sure he already knows most of the dictionary' she laughs, smiling before she turns around to a equally smiling Gina, utilises put to one side as they both discuss the most important person in any of their lives.

See's her mum bite her lip before continuing 'Have you discussed how to celebrate with Daniel?'

She scoffs, playing with her hands 'and why would I want to do that?'

'He's his father' she simply replies, rolls her eyes because just because it's his child doesn't mean he's going to be there for Connor every step of the way, hasn't been for years so why start now.

'He'll be working anyway' she replies, turning back around to start mashing the hard potatoes, cringes at the fact that her mum was right, too hard.

'Not on his son's birthday' she hears her mother reply, turns around fast enough to leave a whole in the kitchen flooring.

'He worked on his 4th so what makes this one different?' she questions. Remembers being left alone with Effy and Gina for Connors small birthday party, 15 other mothers and children to host whilst Daniel has yet another business meeting that suddenly got wrote on the kitchen calendar when Naomi mentioned party and children. Sure she had a good time, children and mothers laughing and smiling throughout, even met a couple of mothers that she would talk to on the playground, them complimenting what a lovely home and family she had, her making excusing to why Daniel wasn't there.

'How about a bouncy castle in the garden, sure is big enough' breaks out of the sad thoughts to Gina's small smile, can't help but return the smile at her mum's gesture 'and I definitely won't be working that day' she laughs, tears welling in her eyes.

'He'd like that' she croaks out smiling, finds herself being thrown into a giant Gina Campbell hug, finds herself holding on to her mum even tighter before the door bell rings out, breaking them a part.

She sighs 'It's just Effy, said she'd pop around earlier for a gossip' laughs because she's nearly 25 and still gossips with her best friend like a teenager.

'I'll get it!' screams Connor from the living room, doors slamming open and the sound of little feet racing towards the door, rolls her eyes at Gina as she starts to laugh. Leaves him too it, wonders if they've left the lock on the door again, usually laughs when Effy just walks in and puts her feet up as if she lives here.

'Emily!' There's a squeal and then a husky laugh, she freezes, drops the fork she's holding till it clangs against the cold stone service.

'Emily?' she repeats, turns around to Gina who has her eyebrows raised and a smile on her face.

'Emily' Gina repeats happily, smiling brightly as she goes to walk out and greet the redhead, Naomi stops her with a hand to the shoulder.

'No mum' she says sternly still panicking about Emily being outside with her son, wonders how the fuck she found out where she is, suddenly doesn't care because Emily, her fucking Emily is a couple of metres away from her after all these days.

'Oh come on Naomi, I just want to meet the girl' Gina says with a teasing smile 'I won't embarrass you' Naomi takes one look at her mother, some sort of flour splashed on her cheeks and a 'kiss the cook' apron covering her body, she shakes her head hard.

'Mum please' she says quietly, see's Gina recoil with a giggle.

Catches her own reflection on the shiny kettle and starts to panic all over again, hair tied up in a messy bun, comfy giant sweater with uggs, can't help thinking that she picked a terrible day to go for the comfy look.

'Mum!' comes the delight cry of Connor, she swallows hard. Doesn't notice that she's pulling her hair out of the scraggy bobble and rubbing the ingredients off her face using a towel in the tiny mirror until she hears her mum laughing behind the morning paper she's began reading.

'She must be one cool friend if you're panicking about what you look like' throws her mother a dirty look before taking one last look at her reflection, thinks she looks terrible, fuck all she can do about it now. Makes sure she takes the terrible red apron off before she goes out to meet her at least.

She opens the kitchen door taking deep breaths, walks out into the hall way to find it empty, front door fully open, loud voices coming from outside, walks to the door and watches both of them for a minute before deciding what to do next.

She's swinging Connor in her arms, he's laughing as they talk to each other, and she sighs.

'Connor, nanny wants to talk to you in the kitchen' she says walking out into the front garden, both sets of eyes snap to hers, Connor in annoyance and Emily in adoration. Folds her arms as she walks towards both of them, can't help but feel judged, hates being in comfy clothes now.

'No mum, I want to play with Emily' he whines, earning a small smile from Emily, can't help noticing that the redhead's attention is completely on her now and not the little boy.

'but I heard she wanted to talk about your birthday' his eyes shoot up, letting go on Emily arm faster than anything, turns around to give her a small smile before bolting into the house and the direction of Gina, thinks she's going to have to apologise to her later.

'Always worked on me as a child aswell' Emily comments when the front door is slammed, husky laugh singing to Naomi's ear lobes, can't help the smile that breaks out across her face. Can't help but notice how well Emily looks compared to days ago, how radiant her skin is shining, how brighter her hair looks, how happier her eyes are.

'Where have you been?' she can't help it escaping her mouth, comes out in a sad tone not accusing her of anything, Emily looks apologetic.

'Katie found me the other day, wouldn't stop going on at me until I'd go home with her' she says, hands reaching up to tuck red piece of hair behind her ear 'I left my phone in the flat, she wouldn't let me leave her house' she laughs lightly.

'I was worried' the blondes whispers, notices Emily's eyes fall to her own feet.

'I got your missed calls this morning, and Effy was at the flat so I asked where I could find you' she should be pissed off at Effy, giving out her personal address even if it just was to Emily, but she can't feel anything but relief, see's Emily's face fall when she doesn't reply.

'Sorry I know I shouldn't have come here, but she said it's your mum's so I wouldn't bump into... you know' she nods

'Its fine, Emily'

'I'm sorry, Naomi' she raises her eyebrows, doesn't know what the redhead is exactly apologising for about to ask when Emily continues to speak.

'I'm a selfish fuck, all I think about is myself, not you, not Connor' watching as she starts to fiddle with her fingers 'I don't want you to leave Daniel, we know what it's like to grow up without a parent, it's shit and I don't want that for him' feels her chest tighten, this sounds horribly like Emily is breaking up with her, doesn't even know if they are really together but it hurts.

'But saying that, you haven't left my mind since the first time I saw you walking into that club' she laughs lightly, watching Emily's face break into a smile, it's funny really, Emily admitting that she actually saw her before she offered her a drink.

'and now I can barely talk because you're standing in front of me looking so beautiful, and I can't kiss you because where standing in front of your mother's house, and I'm sure she'd deem that very inappropriate' she laughs now, Emily compliment making her neck and face flush, doesn't know how the girl can find her attractive wearing baggy clothes and no makeup.

'No pressure okay, just me and you enjoying each other's company and having a good time' it's so sincere that she almost forgets where they are and goes to kiss her, stopping herself when she thinks about good time, wonders if Emily means they can see other people, doesn't want that at all.

'Together, nobody else.' almost as if Emily knew what she was thinking, she smiles, doesn't even have to reply to it.

'Anyway I'll go because it looks like you were in the middle of something' her tiny hand comes out to smooth Naomi's cheek, eyes close for a second at the contact before it opens to witness Emily's hand with a dab of flour on it, curses herself for not having a fucking better mirror in the kitchen.

They stare at each other a moment before the redhead smiles, turning around and starts to walk slowly away, doesn't want her to leave yet but not sure if she should stay, bounces around on her heels before kicking it to the floor.

'She's really fucking embarrassing and will probably ask you personal questions, so you've been warned okay?' she shouts, see's the redhead turn around confused, starts to laugh.

'Who?' she asks, walking back towards the blonde, she smiles.

'My mum really wants to meet you'

'How does she-?'

'Connor talks a lot, well recently most of it has been about you, which is kind of nice but can be frustrating because-' she cuts the sentence off when she realises she babbling, Emily brightly smiling at her before she sighs and slumps her shoulders.

'So do you wanna come in?' she asks, pointing towards the door.

'Yeah,' she's smiles 'I'd like that'


	10. I hope you don't mind

**I wasn't going to write today but I opened up word and hey! all this came out :)**

**Thanks for reading/reviewing/everything.**

**Hopefully you enjoy!**

'Naomi' said the husky voice from the side of her. She snapped out of wherever she'd been for a second to turn her head to a smiling Emily.

'Yes?' she replies, returning the smile easily, even if she is nervous.

'Are we going in?' she chuckles. Blonde finally realising she's had her hand on the door handle for a while now but she hasn't actually noticed it. She blushes a little when Emily's husky chuckle continues. She goes to push the handle door before stopping again, sighs and turns around to face Emily's sparkling eyes.

'She's crazy... a bit unique' she almost warns. Not that her mum is the type to interrogate friends down to the bone, it was actually the opposite. Gina is definitely a little over friendly when it comes to new people in the blonde's life. She thinks it's from all those years ago when the little blonde would come home from school crying about her lack of friends. From those days on Gina has treated new people like gold, because she's not going to see many of them when it comes to Naomi's pickiness.

'My dad used to drink a lot after mum died, so I think I can handle...'

'No she isn't an alcoholic' she laughs quietly, only stopping when she replays the sentence Emily just told her. In the past couple of days since learning of Emily's mother's death she had time to really think about things. She remembers how the fat receptionist in the gym told her how they grew up with a female remodel, from that she figured that she must have been quiet young when her mother died.

'She's just overly nice' she concludes. This being the true way she can actually describe her mother. Even to this day Naomi doesn't know why Gina keeps such a friendly attitude up. She had a lot of shit happening when she grew up, mainly the part about getting pregnant and the absolute love of her life leaving her like she was shit.

Emily lets out a nervous laugh then, rolls the sleeves of her jacket that hang loosely around her hands to bite at her finger nails, a habit Naomi knows too well to be down to nerves. She smiles at the tiny girl bounces on the balls of her feet.

'You don't need to be nervous' she ensures her, because if anything her mum won't stop until she makes sure the house feels like home for everybody, and she's positive Emily isn't going to be an exception to that.

'I know. I've just never met somebody's parent before' she admits shyly, lifting her hand to move the red strands of hair out of her face.

'Really?' she asks surprised. She knew Emily had been with a lot of people, even Naomi had met a couple of parents of old boyfriends and they definitely weren't going anywhere in the future. Surely Emily had once ventured into meeting the parents.

'No, I've never really been in a relationship before' she admits again, diverting her eyes to the door handle which Naomi's hand is still on 'This is the longest I've ever been with someone and not been scared' she looks up then. Naomi catching her brown eyes, she loves when Emily tells her things. The moment is broken when the door handle is pulled down from the inside, both girls automatically taking a step back from the door.

'Naomi darling you've been out here a while, you'll catch your death!' Gina smiles proudly down from the height advantage from the step on the door. The younger blonde blushes at her mother talking to her as if she's a child.

'And you must be Emily, the hair, and those eyes!' she squeaks leaning forward to awkwardly pull Emily into a giant bear hug. Naomi watches on at how uncomfortable that must be for Emily, this is until Emily's own arms come out to catch Gina into the hug as well, she watched on amused.

'Lovely to meet you, this one talks about you a lot' the redhead pokes her thumb in Naomi's direction as she watches her puzzled, wondering how one second Emily can be a nervous wreck and then turn completely confident, Emily's comment earns a giant smile in Naomi's direction from Gina.

'Well I'm sure she would talk about you if she didn't go as bright as tomato juice every time your name is mentioned!' Emily snorts out a laugh at this, looking over her shoulder to once again see Naomi start to blush at her mother's comments 'I swear to god Emily, she's swears I'm out to embarrass her, always been the same since she was a kid'

And then the two walk in the house, arms wrapped around each other and chattering away like two old women who go to weekly bingo sessions, Naomi stands outside stunned for a second. The first time Daniel met her mum she had to make the conversation for both of them to comment. This was completely different, different but she liked it.

She walks into the kitchen to see Emily already with a cup of tea in front of her, Connor on her lap as he chats on animatedly about his day. Has to stop and look around for a minute because every things so surreal, even notices Emily's tea's in one of the good cups. Gina rarely uses the good cups on people.

'It's nice to see more of Naomi's friends' Gina almost sighs out in content as Naomi takes a seat facing Emily.

'Effy's a lovely girl, real loyal, that's something you hardly get anymore these days. But she's a bit quiet on the talking front' Emily laughs, nodding her head in agreement as she takes a sip of her tea

'But I bet you're not shy of a conversation or two, especially with hair as bright as that. You must have some stories up your sleeve!'

'Well I'll have to admit, there's some I'm not proud of' and just like that her mum's giggling like a teenage girl again along with Emily. She thinks that Emily's got some kind of charm or hold over people. They chat like that for more than an hour, Emily smiling politely whilst sharing the time between the three people who want her attention. Gina throwing Naomi strange thumbs up symbol when Emily's back is turned which she cringes about. Unsurprising the conversation soon turns to Connor and his surprise party which isn't a surprise anymore because of all the nagging he did.

'I'll obviously need some help setting the place up' Her mum sighs, as much as she knew she loved Connor she was probably thinking about the number of kids ruining her house that day. She turns her head to see Connor smiling devilishly, doesn't know whether it's because he's having a party or something else.

'Emily will help' he pipes up, moving his chair closer to Emily. The younger blonde knowing what his plan had been about all the time, almost chokes on her tea whilst she watches Emily start to lightly laugh at how fast his suggestion was, finds herself smiling along.

'You can't just volunteer her dear, she might be busy that day with friends or... a boyfriend' She cringes as the words comes out of her mums mouth, know that the personal questions where going to be coming from her mother at some time this evening, this should be fun.

Looks over to see Emily eyes are locked with her, mouth trying but completely failing to hide the smirk that's trying to shape her perfect lips.

'Actually Gina its fine, I can help out'

If she wasn't so happy Emily and her mother are getting along so well she thinks she might be collapsed out on the table. Knows her mum isn't going to stop there, sure by the end of Emily's visit she'll have the name of her grandparents and what school she went to.

'Thanks Emily, that's very kind of you' smiles before the house phone starts to ring, older blonde shooting out of her seat as if she was expecting it, going to the phone with a small apology to Emily leaving the redhead, Naomi and the small boy in the kitchen alone.

'You don't have to help out you know' she says shyly, doesn't want Emily to think she has to help just because Gina was in the room, Emily smiles, watching the small boy in front of her flick through the different channels, different noises filling the room.

'I want to, besides...' she leans over, watching the door in case Gina's the then back over to Connor before whispering quietly in her ear

'Means we get to spend the day together' can't help but laugh at the over flirty wink Emily sends her way, snorts enough to make Connor turn around suspiciously and Emily fling back into her seat like nothing happened.

'Daniel might be there' she confirms with a sigh, room going silent meaning the only noise is the TV still being turned and her mother's slightly raised voice on the phone in the hall.

'Yeah well, I kind of expected that' looks up to see Emily shrug at her slightly.

'I can handle it, it's not really like I know him anyway'

'It'll be nice... having you there' she says without thinking really because it will be nice, she likes spending time with Emily and now she's got a way to do it where she doesn't have to be sneaky about it. 'Someone to talk to where it's not about school or what my favourite footballer is'

Emily starts to laugh, she loves Emily's laugh, every single thing about Emily really, which once again brings her back to the thing she's been thinking about all week, is this what love feels like, brought out of her thoughts when the kitchen door is open.

'Just Kieran the lazy Irish bastard' bolts her mouth back together when she realises Connors looking up at her expectantly, not like he hasn't heard the words before but she doesn't want him to pick them up, get's a silent mouthed sorry from the older blonde in her direction.

'Her boyfriend' she says to a obviously confused Emily munching on a biscuit, wants to slap herself for once again finding it unbelievably cute.

'So did you say you had a boyfriend Emily' she rolls her eyes, at least give the girl time to drink her tea before the question start pouring out again, especially that question.

'Hmm, no actually I'm single' she confirms, taking another sip of her drink as Gina's eyes narrow at her, shakes her head lightly.

'Really, no boys lining around the block for girl like you?' feels the atmosphere get awkward when Emily looks at her helplessly, looks at her as if she's asking Naomi if she can tell her the right answer.

'No, hmm' the redhead struggles.

'Emily's gay mum' she finds herself blurting out, couldn't handle Emily struggling, terrible atmosphere around the room. Finds herself being swallowed by wide brown eyes that have shot up to her, almost forget her mum's in the room. She finds that Emily's eyes have now hit the floor, usually confident about her sexuality Emily has left the room.

'I don't blame you, men are all useless twats these days' her mum quips, leaning back in her chair to take a sip of her tea, Emily's surprise face almost wants to make Naomi pull her blackberry out and take a picture. Thinks about what her mum has just said and can't help but agree, men are twats, Daniel is a twat.

Emily and Naomi's eyes lock onto each others, small goofy smile covering Emily's face as the blondes mum continues to ramble on in-between them, Emily's sexuality not making one difference at all to when Gina first met Emily a hour ago.

'Isn't little Laura's mum a lesbian?' she turns to Gina with a raised eyebrow.

'Who?' she says shrugging her shoulders, glad her son's too amazed by the cartons on the screen to listen to this conversation, eye contact not leaving Emily's through the entire talk.

'You know, Little Laura in Connors class, can't remember her mother's name' Waves her hand at Naomi when she still hasn't got a clue what her mum's on about, well that's what Gina thinks anyway. Naomi's just thinking about the fact that yeah, Laura's mum is a lesbian, feels slightly better with how normal Laura has turned out, not that she thinks having gay parents would make you weird.

'She'll be at the party actually; turns out she's single too'

'Mum!'

'Calm down dear, just saying she's a lovely woman that's all' she couldn't help but feel the jealously go through her bones as her mum shot Emily a wink, which the redhead returned with a laugh and sly smile towards Naomi.

The three of them nearly jump out there skin when Effy enters the kitchen. She should be used to it by now really, Effy didn't need to knock at the door to know she would be welcomed. Gina welcomes her like typical Gina, up offering her the seat and straight over to the kettle.

'Emily. What a surprise' Effy says, raises her eyebrows towards Naomi.

'Yeah she popped round to visit Naomi, I just had to meet her' Gina confirms, not turning her back from the kettle as she prepares the cups and teabags, Naomi blushes again at Effy's intense stare.

'How nice of her' she confirms, smiles at Emily, see's the redhead awkwardly squirm in her seat again. They talk for a while, she watches Connor fall asleep peacefully in front of the TV, blames the excitement of her birthday taking his energy away.

The room goes silent then, the only sound is the Gina humming light songs whilst making tea. This is until Emily's message tone of her mobile rings out. Pulls her phone out and reads it contently.

'It's Katie, wants me to meet her at some new bar in town' she says, eyes coming up from the text message to meet Naomi and Effy's.

'What's the bar called?' Effy asks, flicking her cigarette until the ash is slowly falling and disappearing to the floor, finds Emily pulling her phone back out, searching through the text.

'The syndicate' she shrugs, putting her phone back deep in her jeans.

'The syndicate?' Effy repeats, looking at the blonde as if it's some sort of big thing, she raises her eyebrow at her best friend. 'It only opened Friday, meant to be booked up for weeks' she comments coolly because for once Effy Stonem couldn't even gain access to the place.

'Her boyfriend owns most of the clubs in Bristol' she says rolling her own eyes, remembers a conversation she had with Emily once when they were cuddling in her bed, Katie never having a serious relationship until she met this guy, the one she's been dating for two years now, first Emily thinking it was about the amount of money he had but soon found out how perfectly matched the pair were.

Effys ciggie is dropped in the ashtray 'We should go, assuming your sister can get us all in' Effy smirks.

'You better hurry up and get dressed then Naomi' three pairs of eyes snap around to the door, Gina poking her head out with a giant smile on her face, Naomi sighs, turning around to the two girls.

'I can't-'

'Nonsense, Connors a sleep, I want you to go' Gina smiles, still makes her feel guilty though, knows Gina can see this, she watches as her mum approaches her from the door 'you haven't been out in ages Naomi, listen to the girls okay'

'I'll phone Cook' Effy walking past Gina and into the hall, her mother following behind Effy leaving Naomi and Emily alone.

She turns around to Emily, silently kicking the ground under her shoes, looking up at her with deep brown eyes that she almost stops breathing, tucks the piece of blonde hair falling around her face back around her ear.

'You can come up to my room if you want' only realises what she's actually just said when Emily's eyes snap to hers fast. 'Or you can wait down here with Effy, whatever you want to do'

'Sit down here with mysterious Effy or watch you undress?' It's whispered which means it makes it sound 50 times more dirty than it actually was starts to shiver again. Thinks she knows which one Emily is going to pick.

They end up in her old teenage bedroom, feels so judged that on the way up she actually explained that she's changed a lot since moving, wonders why Emily isn't even ask her why she's living with her mum at the moment anyway. When she closes the door the noises from downstairs are completely blocked away, just her and Emily, dirty side of her brain also noticing the bed in the equation too.

She notices Emily taking a seat on the corner of her bed, eyes scanning around the small room whilst a small smile continues to play on her lips; she turns around, raking her eyes through the bundles of clothes scattily thrown into the wardrobe, not really caring because it's not as if she lives here really. Her hands continues to touch the masses of material until slender arms are wrapped around her waste from behind, soft lips pecking on her neck.

'You don't need to change, you look good now' she mutters into her neck, can't help leaning back to let Emily get to every part of her neck, let's out a small sigh because she releases a throaty chuckle.

'You must be blind' she says, shooting her eyes to the mirror by her wardrobe, view of Emily attacking her neck so softly makes her throat dry, looks down to see Emily's hands slowly crawling up her baggy hoody.

Her breath continues faster as her hand continues until it lands on her bare breast, comfy clothes day not turning out so bad after all, especially when you haven't got a bra on. Noticing Emily's breathing against her neck become shallower.

'Emily' she moans when cold hands slide against her nipples, seemingly hardening under the redheads touch. She's never felt like this with anybody else before, never felt like this with her first boyfriend when she was 16, how his rough hands touched her whenever he tried it on, never felt like this with Daniel, even when they were in the good part of the relationship.

'Wear the blue dress, it made me fucking crazy for you' she smiles, remembers the first time she even bought the dress, how she didn't even like it but had to admit it did make her look attractive, even if she didn't feel it at the time and by the way Emily had ripped it off her body in the night time she would say she didn't mind the dress either.

'Does it?' she flirts back hears Emily take a sharp intake of breath against her neck.

'God I want you right now' with that her hands leave her erect nipples and run down her torso until it reaches the waist band of her tracksuit bottoms, she dips her fingers in first, messing around with the band before she finds the start of her knickers. She wants to let Emily continue, but her families downstairs and it's just not safe. Even though she knows this she lets her continue, quivering shallow breaths when warm hands slip into her knickers and start to caress her softly

The rocking of the door handle breaks them apart, Emily's hands pulling out of her pants, she pulls her top down, adjusting it so her hardened nipples aren't obvious to the entire world.

'Cooks in, apparently he hasn't seen –and I quote- Katie fucking Fitch in a very long time'

Effy comments laughing as if the scene in front of her didn't happen, she flops herself down on Naomi's bed, something that Effy would also do in their teenage years when they would come home after school to do homework or something that teenagers weren't meant to be doing.

'Did he used to... date your sister?' Effy asks, not with jealously because she isn't that type of person but with genuine interest, she aims the question at Emily who's still wide eyed, hands placed flat on her jeans whilst Naomi remains in the corner, messing around with the bottom of her shirt. Emily shakes her head slowly at the question, making Effy's eyes snap between the blonde and Emily, knowing smirk that read _Don't worry, secrets safe with me _written all over it.

'No they were just friends, well not even that really. Plus Cook doesn't date, apart from now with you obviously' the redhead states.

'Where not dating' Effy replies coolly looking at the redhead as if she's grown 7 head, she shrugs biting her finger nails 'it's just...'

'Casual sex' Naomi and Emily both say at the same time, looking at each other and bursting out in giggles at the situation. That's all she'd been hearing off Effy for weeks, about how she liked him but doesn't do relationships, just casual sex. Suppose Cook had been going over the same routine with Emily too.

Effy didn't look so amused as the other two girls, 'Oh ha-ha very fucking funny, you two need to get laid'

She watched as her best friends eyes widened, as Emily's face began to flush and as she felt like the giant elephant in the room. Of course Emily didn't know that Effy knew and Effy had to act like she didn't know.

'Not together, obviously' she states, Naomi only noted how it made the situation 100 times more awkward. Then there was that whole minute of silence that in reality actually feels like hours.

'Yeah... I'll leave you to get changed and apparently Gina wants to read my palm?' she cast her eyes over to Naomi where she saw hint of amusements swimming in her brown pools. Upon 10 minutes of entering her house her mother wanted to try out her new 'psychic technique' one of her friends had taught her, she managed to get Emily out of it.

It's when Emily left the room and her footsteps walking down the stairs drowned away that Naomi turned to Effy. 'The fuck was that?' she spat quietly, watching the tiny smirk grown on her best friends fact as she began to strength her body more evenly across the bed.

'Sorry for the cock block... or fanny block' looks at Naomi as if she has an answer for what the lesbian equivalent of a cock block is, she scoffs.

'Not _that_, you know she doesn't know I've told you'

'Just tell her, it's not like she's the one with the fiancé' she knows Effy doesn't mean it in a nasty way but she's kind of right. Emily doesn't have anything to lose in this affair, she has Daniel, and even though they haven't spoken in a couple weeks he keeps texting telling her how much he loves her. She doesn't want that anymore.

'I was jealous, when I thought Cook and Katie...' she doesn't finish her sentence, not that she has to tell Naomi anyway because the blonde knows 'when I thought they had been together' she confirms, Naomi nods firmly.

'I mean, doesn't it bother you that to other people Emily is single?' Yes it bothers her, but not that she would admit that because she hates looking week, she put a fake smile on her face, turning back around to rake inside her wardrobe.

'No not really' she lies 'I've never really been in the situation to worry about that'

She couldn't have been anymore wrong. It started an hour within getting into the club and she was having a good time. Emily hadn't paid any attention to anybody else but her, even though that had to play the act down they managed to sneak into the toilets a couple of times for a quick snog, always making sure there lipstick was perfect for when they came back.

They hadn't seen Katie yet; apparently she was in the building but had come with a group of her own mates and her boyfriend's colleagues so she wouldn't be around for a couple of hours. The prospect of meeting Katie Fitch scared Naomi. She heard stories about her from Emily, about how she wasn't the nicest of people but would do anything for her family, she hopes that's something her and Katie can actually bond about.

They were all pretty tipsy now, sitting on a table away from the dance floor as they all caught their breath. The place wasn't like any other club they had been too, people we're dressed nice, drank champagne and definitely didn't do drugs off a toilet paper holder. She didn't know if Effy was having a good time, especially since the random girl who introduced herself as Kayleigh had held Cooks interest for a lot of the time.

Emily had been holding her hand under the table as they both listened to the utter shit that was coming out of this girls mouth, she had a permanent smile on her face whenever Emily would squeeze it gently and also play with her fingers.

'I've got a bit of a confession' the girl's thick Bristol accent drowned around the table, four sets of curious eyes on her. Naomi hoped the confession was that she was actually a transgender for Effy's sake, her best friend eyes looked like it was about to burn through the other girl's skin.

'I'm actually into the fairer sex' Naomi stomach dropped when Kayleigh shyly looks up through her thick eyelashes to Emily 'I'm just really shy' and Naomi can only describe her voice as a stupid teenage fucking girl, Effy's eyes snap to hers.

_Thought this situation never happens to you?_

_Fuck off._

Cooks laugh belts around the table, his palms hitting against it like a wild animal 'Well no need to threat babe, I'm sure Emilio here can help you through that shyness' he grins wide looking over to Emily like her wing man, she looks caught in the headlights when the girl releases a shy chuckle and a pout over in Emily's direction.

'I'm not really looking...' the redhead finishes her sentence awkwardly.

'But you're single?' Kayleigh asks, fluttering her eyelashes again

'Emilio here is as single as single can get!' Cook chirps in with his helpful tips, throwing Emily a sly wink as she shakes her head.

'Then I suppose _Emilio _wouldn't mind dancing with me then would she?'

'It's Emily and sorry but I'm not really feeling up to it' the redhead replies.

Feels her skin crawl when Kayleigh leans over the table, clasping Emily's beer in her hand before taking the most exotic sip she's ever seen in her life, licks her perfect fucking chin when a dribble of beer hit's it, Cook to busy getting a hard on before he turns throwing Emily a _what the fuck are you doing? She's definitely up for it _look, she shrugs.

'You better have a pretty good reason to why you can't dance with me' Kayleigh giggles, feels the redhead stiffen beside her, turns her head, breath catching in her throat when she see's Emily looking at her, looking at her as if she wants her to stand up and tell her she's the reason Emily isn't dancing with her, she shrivels into herself when she realises she's not strong enough to do that yet, see's Emily sigh with sad eyes.

'Yeah Em, what's your fucking reason?' Cook asks. she turns her head away, watching as Emily continues to stare at the side of her face for a couple of seconds before getting up out of her seat.

'Suppose I don't really have a reason' she aims at Naomi, smiling at Kayleigh as the slut takes her hand and they walk over to the more noisy part of the club for dancing. Naomi actually can't believe it, can't believe someone else is dancing with Emily who isn't her, someone's getting up close and personal with someone who is only allowed to do that with her.

'Swear if I didn't already have a lovely lady on my arm that babe would be receiving the full Cookie treatment tonight' she turns her eyes just in time to catch Effy slapping Cooks arm, him looking at her in confusion until he shrugs, taking a sip of his pint.

'What's the matter with you too? If the cookie monster is right seems like you don't like kayleigh' he laughs, grabbing at his stomach as they both look at him in distaste, Naomi shrugs, twirls the glass of wine in front of her in her hands.

'She isn't exactly the brightest bulb in the box' Naomi comments lightly, trying not to sound too jealous.

'Doesn't matter, she's got nice tits, all a girl like Emily needs' he doesn't know he's hurting her but she wish he would stop. Stop sharing stories about Emily's sexual adventures just stop talking altogether, decides she has to leave when Cooks half way through describing Kayleigh's ass.

'Toilet' she says to Effy, receiving a small smile and nod off her.

She paces through the club, hates the fact that to get to the bathroom she has to go past the dance floor, tries to keep her eyes from looking at it but there's so many flashes of red that she's intrigued, can't help but taking a peak which means she comes to a holt right in the middle of the club. She finds Emily straight away, with her quirky style and bright red hair it's not as if she could miss her, only problem being that Emily's found her straight away too, almost as if Emily had her eyes on the back of Naomi's chair waiting for her to get up. They stare at each other challenge gets harder for Naomi when Kayleigh slips her arms around the redheads waist, obviously laughing about something the redhead said; she snaps when Emily purposely puts her arms around the girls neck, she can't take it anymore.

She hadn't meant to do it really, especially in the full few of people. Hadn't meant to push her way through the people on the dance floor, hadn't meant to grab the dirty blonde so forcefully by the shoulder that she nearly went all fours, hadn't meant to slam her lips against Emily's so hard that the redhead released a groan. She was vaguely aware of the protests from kayleigh behind her; all she knew at this moment were Emily's soft lips that had just started kissing her back with as much force as Naomi, letting her tongue slowly slip into the blonde's mouth and then rake her hands through her hair. After a couple of minutes they both broke apart for air, shocked and surprise faces staring at each other as there chest heaved, they we're both about to meet each other again half way until Emily was being dragged away from behind, Naomi having no other choice but to follow due to the strong hold Emily had on her wrist. The pulling hadn't stopped though, didn't until the cold air of outside was hitting her shoulders.

'What are you doing?' she didn't know if the question was aimed at her or Emily, everything seemed so much more confusing outside, thought the air was meant to sober you up. She was about to tell this kayleigh girl to fuck off until she caught a glimpse of the girl in front of her, no other than

'Katie? Why the fuck did you do that!' Emily whines. Naomi can't help but smirk at how much of a child Emily sounds like. Then she realises how awkward this is situation is, the first time she's met Katie and it was whilst she was trying to eat her sisters face. She can't help notice how different they look, it's almost as if Katie is a grown up version of Emily, not meaning this is bad on her part at all. Her hair is a more mature brown shade and her clothes read business, mixed with WAG.

'because my friends are in there and like they don't want to see my sister fucking somebody on the dance floor, I told you Emily, it's a formal place, not the scummy shit you usually go to!' she argues back, and then she narrows her eyes at Naomi, eyeing up her body before she turns her face back to Emily.

'And why did you bring her out here for!' Emily wobbles back slightly on her feet as Katie continues to shout, she then turns around towards the blonde, dragging her hand to bring her closer as she proudly smiles.

'Katie, this is Naomi' she says smiling, Katie's face drops.

'What you know her?' she asks as if they had just met in the club then, Emily nods her head, making her eyebrows tilt even further.

'You told me you were single'

'Emilio! Naomikins! That was FUCKING hot' Cooks shouts down the road the girls currently on, Effy trailing behind him with a ciggie in her hand, she hears slight groan from Katie, laughs silently from the effect he has on women.

'Why didn't you tell me yous were shagging, your fella is one lucky boy!' he points to his crotch, rocking it as he makes a fucking signal, all the girls groan again.

'What? Fella? She's her girlfriend' Katie says to Cook as if he's got it confused, looks to Emily for confirmation but she keeps her guilty eyes down, as does the blonde, Effy and Cook also keep quiet with exception of his goofy grin.

'You're participating in an affair?' she asked Emily, it was serious, but from the way she said participating with that lisp made Naomi chuckle, not gaining her any extra points in Katie's book, she was also mildly drunk too. Effy laughed too, tried to hold it in with her hand only to have Katie Fitch snarl her down with her eyes.

'Fuck sake Emily, of all the things you do' she says in disapproval, as Emily just stands there, much like Naomi who can't take her eyes off the almighty Fitch, she's the only sober one at the minute, probably making the most sense. Thinks that this situation should be terrible, a disaster even but she can feel the weight lifting off her shoulders, all the people around her finally knowing about her and Emily.

'Wish I was Connor growing up' she hears Cook mutter followed by a bellowing laugh, she goes to punch him until she sees him in pain, cradling his crotch in his hand, distorted face, nothing like a stonem kick to the balls when she sees one.

'Well how the fuck is _Connor_ gunna feel when he finds out his girlfriends cheating with a woman!' Katie snaps at Naomi, she flinches.

'Connors her son' Emily confirms, slapping a hand over her mouth because she just released a beast, she wouldn't be surprised if Katie's eyes fall out of her head soon from how wide they have grown. Whilst Cook and Effy awkwardly sway in the background it feels like most of the attention is on her and Emily now.

'A kid?' she gasps as if it's the most evil thing in the world, a drunken Emily laughs.

'Yeah he's adorable and he loves my hair –unlike you' she comments, smiling triumphantly at her obvious fuming sister.

'He could be the holy fucking Jesus; it still wouldn't make this right!'

'Hey that's my fucking son!' she speaks up as soon as her son's involved 'Listen _Kate'_ purposely says her name wrong just to irritate her 'You can look at me through your obviously fake eyelashes in any manner you like, but when my son's mentioned' points a drunken finger at the girl 'you can fucking stop'

'Listen Naomi'

'No! And stop treating Emily as if she's a child, she an adult, a fucking adult okay? And if we want to kiss in your posh fucking establishment then we will alright?' she finishes, smiling brightly at Emily who's looking at her as if she's the most amazing person in the world. Maybe if she wasn't as tipsy she wouldn't have said all of that, but it's out now, the four of them wait for the backlash of Katie.

'I need a fucking drink' the dark haired twin sighs looking between the four people in front of her, fucking hopeless she thinks, the bunch of them. After a lot of persuasion they end up deciding to head back to Emily and Cook's flat so they can all talk, she doesn't know what it's about but at the moment she doesn't care because Emily's holding her hand and there's people around, and if anyone can sort this out it's Katie fucking Fitch.


End file.
